Selena wants me to stay the night, but that's not going to happen. I squirm my way out of it by telling her James needs his car back, tonight.

  In the car, I sit and think about the

  words Lust left me with.

  “Oh baby, look at what you've done. Do you think God is going to forgive you, now? And if He does this time, then what about the next time, or the next time, or the next time? Let's face it, baby, you're weak. This definitely won't be your last time. See you very soon.”

  She left me with a giggle and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  The drive home is worse than the drive to Selena. I can't believe I went through with it! I feel dirty and unworthy to call myself a Christian let alone a J. Warrior. I know James will be waiting for his car. As long as I've been gone, he will have questions. I mean, I'm already ashamed of the sin I just committed. I don't feel like being judged.

  I sigh as I begin to wrap my head around what happened. My flesh yearned for the poison Lust pumped into me. She was all too willing to feed me sweet-tasting lies. But they weren't sweet at all, they were venom. And now that venom is settling in my stomach, spreading illness.

  Lies, Lust's words were all lies that once were like honey to my lips. Now they are nothing but a bitter annoyance on my tongue.

  I finally pull into Dad's driveway. I shove the driver seat back and lay staring at the roof of the car. I'm not trying to go inside yet. For a moment, I feel Wisdom knocking at the door of my heart. I ignore it out of both guilt and embarrassment. In all honesty, I feel emptier than I ever have. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

  Hee. Hee. Hee. Hee.

  My eyes pop open and I shoot up and look around wildly. It takes me a minute to regain my composure. I don't know if the evil laugh I hear is real or my imagination.

  "I need some music," I mutter to myself.

  I fish my phone out of my pocket only to find out it's dead. Shoving it back in my pocket, I reach for the glove compartment where I know James keeps his old Mp3 player. I put my headphones in and press play. The beat and melody of the song catch my attention right away. I look down at the small screen of the mp3 player to see the name of the song. "New Reality".

  I sit back again and close my eyes. I try my best to get both Lust and Selena out of my head. I haven't been a Christian that long, but dang I backslid real quick. How am I supposed to look Brad and James in the eyes?

  I'M STILL HUNGRY! A voice breaks through my train of thought.

  "Oh no, not again!" I snatch the keys out of the ignition and jump out of the car. I race to the house, not sure what just decided to hop in my subconscious. I know for sure it ain't Wisdom, though.

  The kitchen light is on when I stumble into the house. Most likely James is in there eating something. I figure I should go into the kitchen and get facing James' questions over with. When I step into the kitchen, I spot James sitting at the table facing me with his head down and eating leftover barbeque.

  "Aye, Mal," he greets me without looking up. "We should talk."

  "James, I'm sorry for being gone with your car for that long."

  You went to see Selena, didn't you?" He slowly raises his eyes to make eye contact with me.

  "If you're about to tell me that I was in the wrong, don't. I already know." I break the eye contact.

  "No. Not just wrong, stupid! So stupid that I just want to knock the hell out of you and maybe just maybe knock some sense into you," James growls.

  "Man, dude don't be sitting over there acting like you're holier than thou." I snap back.

  "Oh, I'm not. I have deep sins that I fight every day. We all fall short, Jamal. You fall, you get back up. But you almost died. She almost got you killed. Next step would have been God. A couple of minutes of pleasure isn't worth spending forever and a day in Hell." James pauses for a moment.

  When he speaks again he is calmer, "I know how hard it is to fight sinful habits, but you are playing with fire. You got burned once already, I would think you would learn after that."

  "I tried but Lust, she was strong and Selena was-"

  "Mal! You are fighting for your life in each battle. We don't have time to say our enemy is strong. So pick your face up and stop feeling sorry for yourself." He picks up his sandwich and takes a bite. "Now, I'm not saying that you won't lose every now and then, but you shouldn't give up. Your lamp light is low but Wisdom is fighting still and she needs help. I'm going to take you to my garden."

  "Where is it at? To be honest, I'm getting

  tired."

  "I'll show you. Let's head downstairs to the basement." James sticks the last piece of bread into his mouth and stands.

  We quietly head to the basement where he grabs his bible and plants himself in the middle of the floor.

  "Alright Mal, let's go. Bow your head."

  "Kay."

  "Father God, we come to you seeking Wisdom in our time of need. Your word says in James chapter one, verse five that if we lack wisdom, we should ask you for it, and you will give it to us liberally. Because we are blind and in need of guidance. So please Lord, give us eyes to see truth, the heart to fight, and ears to hear. As we give our all, God, we ask that you protect us as we enter the garden. In Jesus' name, amen."

  I open one eye to look around. "Aye, we still in the basement, Bro. Aren't we supposed to be in the spiritual world like that avatar cartoon?" Both of my eyes are open now.

  "Open the gate to my heart. Enter my garden," James grabs my hand. "You better close those eyes back up."

  "Why? We still in th-" Before I could finish, a bright flash of light blinds me.

  "I warned you." He lets my hand drop.

  It takes about three seconds before my eyesight comes back. When the spots in my eyes subside I can see that I am standing in an actual garden. Under my feet is grass so green and perfect that I'm inclined to think it's not real. Bright colorful flowers are clustered in well placed spots all over the garden. The scenery is almost like a fairytale.

  Almost. There is one thing keeping it from being a perfect dream: three graves right in the center of the garden.

  "Over here, Mal," James calls by the tombstones.

  I walk to him, taking my time to appreciate the scenery. "So what is this place?"

  James waits for me patiently and then stretches his arms out. "This is my Scoreboard aka the Garden. This is where my wins and losses are counted up. As you can see, there are three graves with numbers on them. Above the numbers there are names. Mines, Gods and my Flesh's. My stone has all my wins. God's stone has all the losses He keeps track of. On my flesh's stone is all my losses."

  "Look at my stone. 129,372,543 is my wins so far. My Twin kept count of my losses which is 119,299,306. But if you look at the losses God counts for me on His stone, you'll find that His isn't keeping count at all. In fact, it's covered in blood." James walks over to God's stone and points to it. "This is to symbolize that our sins have been washed away by the blood of Christ. Now, don't think you can go sin without consequence."

  "So, I have a garden just like this one where I can see my wins and losses?"

  "Yeah, we all do. But I try to stay away from here because when I see my wins, I can feel pride building up inside me. You know what the scripture says."

  "Actually, no..not really." I'm still new to this bible stuff, but I try to think of what scripture he could be talking about.

  "Proverbs 16:18, Pride goes before destruction a haughty spirit before a fall," James recites.

  "Dang, James, that was deep," I joke. "But going back to what you said earlier about the Flesh weakening Wisdom. The Flesh is in alliance with the big Seven?"

  "It's like a six-step pyramid, Mal. At the top: is Satan, then Death, level three Demons, four is Demon lights you know R.E.D and Black. Level five is the Big Seven, and the last one is the Flesh. So, yeah, they're all in alliance with one another."

  "Hold up. Wisdom was in the mirror looking just like me," I say. "She isn't evil."

  "She probably just took that form as a warning, but read First John chapter four, verses one through three," James replies.

  "So, she was trying to warn me about the Flesh rising up inside me? Um...Okay."

  "Exactly."

  I jump and whirl around.

  "Wisdom?" I ask, recognizing the voice, but not the glowing blue woman with blue hair who is suddenly standing next to James.

  The odd thing about her is her face... and when I say odd I mean disturbing. She doesn't have one. At least, there are no features to speak of. Her face is a blank space, no eyes, no ears, no mouth.

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  "Where did you come from?" I ask trying but failing not to stare at the void that is her face.

  "Well, I come from within both of you Even though you shut me out, thanks to Lust and her luring ways. James opened your heart back up to me."

  "Just doing my job," James says with a bodacious smile.

  "Now, should we waste more time in this garden or head back to the basement and crack open the bible?" Wisdom looks at both of us. "Jamal hasn't had much training and is in need of some scriptures. If I'm not mistaking, James, you are four days overdue in reading your word. You have to set an example for your younger brothers."

  "Yea. You ain't neva lie." James acknowledges before turning to me. "You ready to go, Mal. It's getting late, and after the day you had you need to read up a bit. Maybe read for ten to fifteen minutes, tonight?"

  "Ok, bro, let's head home. But before we do, I want to visit my little garden." I'm looking forward to seeing all of my wins. But then I start thinking maybe not. I haven't been a Christian for that long.

  "Never mind let's just head back."

  "We'll take the short cut," Wisdom says to us. "Take my hands you two. Close your eyes and bow your heads"

  We grab her hands. James on the left, me on the right. When we close our eyes Wisdom starts humming. There is a flash of light and all of a sudden we are back in the basement.

  "Okay you two let's get some wisdom from the good book," Wisdom says, releasing our hands. "I'll be inside you guys getting my daily bread." And with that, she swirls into a puff of blue smoke and vanishes.

  I stare at James not sure what to do. Truth is I rarely read my bible like that. Come to think of it, I usually fall asleep at church when the word is being read. What I do remember about the bible is that I don't understand it when I do read it.

  "Aye, Mal, I know you got that bible app." James walks to the couch and eases down.

  "No, I don't have the app. Imma just call it a night."

  "Not a smart idea, little bro. We need to study to keep our Wisdom strong. Lust might be gone for now but the Flesh is not taking any nights off."

  "Look, James, you can read your bible, but that's not for me. I'll pray and go to church, but the whole reading from the bible thing I just can't get into. I won't really understand what I read if I do read it anyways."

  James looks at me for a moment and then pushes himself off the couch. "Let me show you something else." He closes his eyes. A bright blue glow spreads steadily over his body as words tumble out of his mouth. With certain phrases, parts of his body glow brighter.

  "Our Father who art in heaven hollow be they name." James' arms glow brighter before it dims, revealing armor around both of them. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." His torso brightens and reveals a breastplate attached to his chest. "Give us this day our daily bread and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil." His legs flash, before revealing armor around them, too. "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory."

  James' feet, head, and hands pulsate with light so bright that I stumble back and shield my eyes. I peak through my hand to make sure it is safe before lowering it cautiously. My brother stands in front of me, clad in the full armor of God. He lays down his shield and takes off his helmet. Then he takes off his gauntlets revealing scars.

  I stare at his blue skin wondering if that is what I looked like battling death so many days ago. I stop when I think about battling death. It makes me remember that it actually happened and death is real. It makes me remember that death wants me.

  "Jamal, listen to me brother." James' words carry authority it didn't have before.

  In fact, his whole being is transformed.

  "My chest and arms are scarred on my spiritual being." He reaches for the pauldron on his left and pulls it off. "You see my tattoo on my left shoulder." He turns his shoulder towards me and points to three linked rings. GOD is etched into James skin in the space connecting the three rings together, FATHER, SON, and HOLY SPIRIT are branded into his skin in similar fashion.

  "THE HOLY TRINITY. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Jesus is God, and rose on the third day and eventually returned to the Father so that we may have the Holy Spirit. You know the Holy Spirit as Wisdom because that is what she is for you. But you can only gain wisdom if you have understanding, and understanding comes from praying, worshipping and reading the Word of God, PWR."

  James continues to break it down even further, "We must pray for strength and understanding. But we will not gain strength and understanding if we don't worship God. And how can we worship someone we don't know. This is why we read the Word to get acquainted with God."

  "We gain insight into God's goodness and how His kingdom operates when we dig into the Word. It gives us a deeper understanding of the promises and blessings the Lord has given us. I mean, after grasping even a tad bit of how great God is how can you not worship Him?"

  James stops, takes a breath and points to his chest. "I have a scar right here from a wound I received going into battle unprepared. Wisdom was not at full strength. All the scars I have come from not feeding Wisdom the Word. She fights off our sin and keeps the Flesh at bay."

  I nod, "Alright, I see what you're saying." I slip out my phone and proceed to download the app. "You can release your armor now. Your light is starting to blind me." I grin at him.

  He grins back. "Sorry, Bro." In an instant, he is back in his regular clothing. "Let me grab my bible and we can read."

  Picking his bible up from where he left it, James cracks it open and bows his head.

  "Why you praying now?"

  "Gotta pray for understanding. Don't want to miss the message God wants me to hear. Plus, if I don't do this I would feel like I am just reading another book. You should do it, too."

  I take his advice and say a quick prayer for understanding as the app downloads. At first, I don't know what to read. But then I feel Wisdom drawing me to two different scriptures. The first one is 1 John 4:1-4 and the second is 1 Corinthians 10:13-15.

  Apparently, my app is the English Standard Version. I scroll the words slowly with my finger as I read.

  Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the spirit of God: every spirit that confesses the Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4: 1-4

  I stop to reflect on what God could be talking about, but I come up blank. Oh well, on to the next scripture:

  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. 1 Corinthians 10:13-15

  This one I understand a little better. I can at least apply it practically to my current situation. I look up from the app and watch James still nose deep in his bible. He sits there staring at it like it holds some great mystery or like it's food or something.

  Yet here I am barely stretching my reading twenty minutes. Truthfully, the little I did read had me wanting to fluff up a pillow and lay down. There were a couple of times I actually contemplated closing the app and heading to bed.

  "What do I do after I read?" He looks up annoyed.

  "Pray again and talk to Wisdom. Don't interrupt me again, Mal."

  ‘What issss he talking about? We don't need to pray about what we jusssst read. Reading wassss more than enough.’

  My eyes narrow. This is the same voice from when I was in James' car. It's crazy, man, how I accept Jesus into my life and next thing I know there are voices in my head, well sort of. I have to admit aside from the voice of Wisdom what I "hear" in my head seems to be my own thoughts.

  ‘That'sss right, I am you and you are me. Let'sss not pretend I haven't been here thissss whole time guiding you through thiisss crazy world.’

  I suddenly realize my flesh is trying to trap me.

  "I don't have time to deal with you," I say out loud. James is right, I need to pray. I drop to my knees. "Father God, I'm not too sure about what I read, tonight. If you can help me understand what it is that I am supposed to do..." The world around me stills.

  With my eyes still closed I can feel that my hands are no longer pressed flat against the carpet of the basement. Something soft and sort of wet is beneath my touch.

  "Welcome to your garden of wins and losses."

  I open my eyes and see bright green grass underneath my hands. Slowly I draw my eyes upward to see Wisdom standing in front of me, still blue, but her cheeks are raised high and her eyes sparkle as if she is smiling.

  She matches my kneeling posture.

  "Let's talk about what we read, tonight."

  I stare into her eyes. "Let's do this."

  "Naturally, you will not understand everything I will explain to you today. It'll take more studying and building your faith to increase your understanding. This journey takes a lifetime. Got it?"

  I nod.

  "Good. Now let us focus on the first scripture you read. There are many people, ideas, and even religions that claim to be of the Lord. You must test every spirit that claims to be of God for this reason. If they do not confess that Jesus, the Son of God, came to the world as a human then that spirit is not of God. Test these spirits that come to you to make sure you are not lead astray."

  "So, all I got to do is ask if Jesus is God in the flesh and I will be able to know the fake from the real?"

  "Precisely." Wisdom nods with satisfaction. "Okay, moving on to the next scripture.

  God is in you. His power is far greater than the one who is in the world. You have already overcome this world because you are from God."

  "What are you saying, Wisdom? I get that God is in me."

  "By way of the Holy Spirit, yes."

  "You are in me.?"

  "Yes."

  "You are God."

  "Yes. I, the Holy Spirit am the Spirit of God."

  "So, who is this he who is in the world?"

  "Satan. The prince of this world."

  Understanding begins to dawn and it starts to make sense. It's really basic, I mean, what Christian doesn't know that God is bigger, better and way more powerful than Satan or any other so-called power in this world?

  "I see. So I already won because God is greater than the one who is in the world. Since God is in me and I am from him, I have everything I need."

  "Right. Finally, we move to the last scripture 1 Corinthians verse thirteen. Every temptation that you face is common to man. Because God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can handle. God will always provide a way out in the times you are tempted, this is so you may endure it."

  I nod, thinking about Selena. God did give me a way out, I just didn't want to take it. I reasoned my way into temptation and sin instead. Temptation is a common problem for everyone, I just got to be aware of the escape route God put in place for me.

  "So these lustful temptations I have is normal to man but God will help me endure it all by providing escape gates?"

  "Exactly!" Wisdom's face glows, throwing light into my face. "I feel strong and ready for battle. But I need a lot more PWR. As you already heard, the Flesh doesn't take days off. Get ready for your flesh to speak up now that you are reading God's Word. Keep reading and feeding me what I need to combat that pesky Flesh."

  "Pray. Worship. Read."

  "You got it! Now, let's pray out." I bow my head, and Wisdom's glowing

  hand takes mine.

  "God the Father, thank you for helping us make sense of your Word. Thank you for allowing us to endure temptation and giving us the ability to discern which spirits are from you and those who are false prophets.

  We love you, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen."

  "You feeling better, Mal?" James asks.

  I open my eyes and see James on the couch watching Anime.

  Don't be fooled-

  "Don't worry Jamal, I have enough strength to keep Flesh quiet for a while." Wisdom silences the Flesh's attempt at taunting me.

  Thank you, I think at Wisdom. To James I say, "Yeah, much better. Now I know that God's Spirit is more powerful than anything in this world and that when I'm tempted I need to look for the escape."

  "Yeah, that's true. Word of advice though, don't focus on sin too much. Focus on God, learn the difference between conviction and guilt. One will lead you to repentance and the other will lead you astray."

  I think about what he said and then nod.

  With that, we watch our shows until we pass out on the couch.