Returning to the #MenudoGeneral Discord server, I decided to search some of our keyword phrases. I started with “only on Tuesdays,” and hot damn! Bingo!
CinderHella27: please taxidermy them when you’re done. don’t be wasteful
SpurnedPeople: this is a disturbing thread
YoMAMA: I need to delete my brain
Unimportant: you did that yesterday
YoMAMA: I forgot
PlantMage: an anticipated hazard
D: I can upload you, DM me
PlantMage: a sinister turn of events
Aria: I have no idea what is happening right now
GoldJewels: imagine my surprise
AdamPrince: do you ever understand what’s happening?
Aria: only on Tuesdays
Bertha: not even then
Grizzly: I play soccer with assholes
GoldJewels: Is that a euphemism?
Adeiu: if you have to ask, it doesn’t count
hit_jars: sounds like a good song lyric
RitchyPop: I wrote a song about my feet hurting
Adeiu: go sing it in voice chat
RitchyPop: can’t, too tired
Adeiu: go to bed
RitchyPop: you wanna join me?
Adieu: I’m game
PlantMage: ??
AdamPrince: ??????
SaucyKnife: ??????????
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“I’ve got one, HC!” I rang out, and I looked up to see him grinning at me from his chair.
“Me too!”
We swapped pads, and I saw he was in the #SpumoniGeneral chat.
Chloe: Imma need a link
HopeNot: Link to Bum And Get It
DeepShart: what could be better?
NichtAmore: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS
HopeNot: and then some, NichtAmore
SapphicStoner: I ate a person in my past life to survive in a frozen tundra
HopeNot: I knew that was coming
EbonyCod: Feckin’ feck balls of feck. Eating ass?
DipShart: You downloaded it already, Pesc, don’t deny it
EbonyCod: feckin’ A!
Ava: bloody hells, all of you too?
Chloe: @Ava, if you only ever download one game, make it Bum And Get It! You can write a funny poem about it.
Ava: LMAO. gold! okay!
“Perfect! HC! It’s our exact conversation from Zoe’s server,” I said, excited.
He nodded, “And this one you found is from the Special Streaks. It’s the same stuff, just repeating.”
“So, is any of this real? I mean, what about that conversation about milk chocolate vs dark—“
“Dark, obviously,” Rhoda said flatly.
“It’s only chocolate if it’s at least 85% dark,” Paddy agreed.
“Annnnghh. Well, I can make a case for either,” HC winced. “I mean, who’s gonna turn down chocolate?”
I laughed, “Not you. Okay, so was I rehashing an old, repeated conversation? Was the chocolate thing new or a repeat? It seemed like a normal conversation. Not made up!”
“Give us keywords, Sam, so we can look them up,” Rhoda commanded.
“There is only one chocolate,” I read off my screen. Three faces concentrated and then slowly shook their heads. Not a match. I picked another phrase.
“I’m buying strawberries, want some?” I repeated from the screen before me. A few seconds ticked by.
“Bingo!”
“Got one!”
“Yep!”
“All three of you?!” I asked, incredulous. Three heads nodded, then we passed around the screens. The question was asked on every server, and the responses were always different. But in the #SpumoniGeneral, there was a familiar refrain about food teleportation:
ToughLock: I’m buying strawberries, want some?
MurderCrow: can’t. allergies
Spumoni: I won’t say no
LakeRider11: got some dipping sauce with that?
ToughLock: it can be arranged
LakeRider11: sign me up.
SpazzyDaggers: we ever getting that food teleportation upgrade?
DamLOLO: testing tomorrow
Spumoni: yuuuuus!
URNobody: how’s your processing speed, Spumoni?
Spumoni: process this! ??
URNobody: that checks out
“Hunh,” I reflected. “So, they toss a phrase out there if the chat is dead, getting things started again. What does that tell us?”
HC grinned, “That Rhoda’s right. They wanna keep people engaged. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, so long as you keep typing and scrolling.”
“But Wimpy, what’s it all for? I mean, that seems like a silly waste of time, but why bother? What is the gain?” Paddy wondered.
“Obviously, we’re not gonna answer that right this minute, but we’re seeing patterns. Which means it’s a puzzle, and riddles can be solved. Especially by wordsmiths. So, let it roll around in your brains while we enjoy the concert tonight, and just maybe the picture will start to look clearer,” HC said, picking up his bags.
Our airship had docked at the Nashville landing platform, so we gathered our things and prepared to disembark.
And no, I wasn’t actually ready for what came next. Sometimes life gives you slow moments of eating Cubanos and traveling on airships. Then whammo! Next thing you know, you’re hit with a storm.
And when you’re really lucky, that’s a good thing.
