Our hero, honorably KO’d, is dragged off the battlefield on a stretcher sponsored by the local Adspital. The tower rubble is being cleared by the premium mods of the Saintess and the Princess.
What happened to the enemies? Mid-battle, they received the most dreaded message any customer could see:
“ SERVICE OUT OF ORDER — We’re trying to improve our quality and reach!”
In Big red letters. Panic ensued.
They started foaming at the mouth. The fish people jumped into the sea. The tentacle chains dropped the risen eldritch half of the city back into the sea. The remaining humans were seduced back into the light by thongs and bathroom streams.
All is good with the world again.
Melissa-san’s POV:
Pounding her pillow.
"What the hell is happening?! Can’t a girl get some beauty sleep?!"
With baggy eyes, she wakes up to prepare for her night shift. She does the unthinkable—opens the window of her business trip hotel—and sees the city in ruins, littered with fish sticks, tea, thongs, and bra ads.
Her female senses tingle after spotting a man being dragged off by a mighty entourage into the Adspital in the town square. She has a sinking feeling… just in case, she decides to check it out.
She starts stalking social media and—GASPPP!!!
Hajime-kun!
She texts her bitch of a boss the magical words of escape:
“It’s a sick day!”
Suck it, I have them accumulated!!!
A call comes in. She ignores it completely.
Things like this would have never happened before...
but feminine power and thirst should never be underestimated by anyone.
Nocture-san’s POV:
"I’ve finally done it!!!"
Her legs are perfect—almost the epitome of steel and beauty—now only she needs a promotional ad targeted to the right demographic to seal the deal!
This dom-boss demon girl is giddy for the first time in a while. Having a challenge to conquer brings out the best in her. The ingrained need for superiority and narcissism must be maintained, the hegemonic control over the paypigs and low-tier demons is her calling in life.
Then she receives a text from "Gloomy Worm":
“Sick day. Not working.”
She rages:
“WHO says you can have a sick day?! Demons don’t get sick, damn you worm!!!”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
She calls. But—the unthinkable happens—
She’s ignored.
"You DAMNED worm!! Are you finally growing a spine and rebelling?!"
She taps the bathtub ceramic while thinking. Then she sighs with noticeable malice.
"Now… where was she dispatched again?"
She scrolls the dispatch log, mumbling:
"Paypig #3389: whipping received – 7/2/XXXX.
Verbal trashing for Paypig #7786 – below-standard supersub – 7/3/XXXX.
Recovery of failed asset ‘Lucile-bitch’: success. Awaiting performance eval..."
She delays that meeting and moves on to:
“Marketing Worm dispatched to Adlantis for ‘Confidential’ – by order of Director %@&%!&^@.
Return date: Undefined.”
Tsk.
She taps her whip rhythmically on her hand for comfort. She has to navigate this very carefully.
Then—a big idea bubble pops up. She starts laughing eerily:
“Director-san… fufufufufufu. You tried to be sneaky, huh?
There you are… my hero.”
Narrator-kun:
The Director didn’t know shit,
but somehow, by sheer luck, this evil woman guessed it right!!!!
Women are scary… :(
He’s looking at the horizon, staring out over a flowing sea in a solemn mood.
Something has changed in him.
Is it depression?
Anger?
He cannot say.
The world reflects his mood:
The sea turns murky, like swamp water.
The sky darkens—storm clouds gather.
Caladblock, sipping tea on her side of the world, says nonchalantly:
“Ara~ Hon, I did my duty. I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
These are the words only the most insensitive of wives would say.
She is truly a keeper.
A new resident appears in this gloomy world: Valiant Engine.
A slim lioness beast girl lounges in a hammock, sipping from a coconut.
“Kyaaah~ Such a good drink! Been a while!”
She swings lazily, not a care in the world, scrolling through a laptop made from Hajime’s memories. Her infiltration skills are uncanny. She sorts through his memories, getting up to speed on the finer points of her new host.
Hajime-san looks at the distant volcano.
A dragon girl sleeps in the corner. Her snot bubble pops. She jolts awake:
“AHHHHH! You’re here, finally!”
She mounts a flying sword themed body pillow and glides over.
Sniffing him:
“That’s some gnarly despair you’ve got there contractor.
What did I miss?”
Hajime, gritting his teeth:
“The only thing that truly mattered.”
He doesn’t elaborate.
He just gives the stink-eye to the two unremorseful residents.
Walletbreaker, totally chill, says:
“Hajime-kun, my boss wants to meet you for a one-on-one interview. Interested?”
Hajime, still gritting:
“Nah. I’m good.”
Walletbreaker:
“Yatta~ Job done! I’m out~”
She floats away, napping mid-air.
Then... the worst offender appears.
“Hajime-kun!!!”
The Whale breaches the sky, illuminating the dark and musky world Hajime created.
He has never hated something this much since.....
Whalescalibur drops from the sky to a warm applause.
Caladblock:
“You finally did something respectable, for once.”
Valiant:
“Ohhh~ The true hero of our story descends from the heavens. Congratulations on your victory!”
Whalescalibur, unexpectedly joyful for the first time ever:
“THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!!! THANK YOU, SISTER!!!”
She somersaults in the air, while Hajime looks on with void eyes, lips bleeding from biting them.
He manifests noise-cancelling headphones and nightwear goggles.
He does what any good shut-in would do:
Ignore the world.
He manifests his old room from Earth.
He rejects consciousness itself.
Result: Real-world coma.
Wake-up time: Undefined.