I married Charlotte one year ago today. Day two was spent questing, but day three was going to be a different kind of adventure.

  "No, Char, you're doing it wrong."

  "How am I possibly cutting an onion wrong?"

  "By not using a cutting board." I set the cutting board atop a wet cloth. "There, now you—"

  "I got it–I got it."

  "No, you don't. You need to cut off the top and bottom first. Then you slice that bitch in half."

  She raised an eyebrow. "That's a little graphic, isn't it?"

  I nodded solemnly. "Yes, the kitchen is a brutal world for an onion. That's why we cry for them."

  Char rolled her eyes but followed the instructions.

  "Good. Next you peel off the skin."

  "Sweetie, it's called the epidermis."

  "Ohhh? Well, since you clearly know so much, I'll leave cooking the pheasants to you."

  Charlotte grumbled something that would’ve gotten her banned if the moderators heard. Her nails dug into the epidermis and ripped it off. A little violent, but it got the job done.

  I turned my back and—heard the distinct crunch of someone biting into a raw vegetable.

  "Charlotte?"

  "Hmm?"

  "Are you eating the onions?"

  She gulped. "I didn't not eat them."

  I sighed. "Just pass me the lardons."

  "Lardons?"

  "The cubes of really fatty bacon."

  "Why didn’t you just say ‘give me the bacon?’"

  "Because that’s the bacon over there." I pointed to the strips of bacon. "And what I need are lardons."

  I double-fisted a combination of sea salt and black pepper. Snow and soot rained over the pheasants. Sunlight streaming through the window made the seasoned birds glisten. I took in a deep, blissful, breath.

  "Char, pour me some olive oil into that casserole."

  "When did you have time to make a casserole?"

  "No, it’s the kind of pan over there." I said pointing.

  "You don’t call the bacon bacon, but you’ll call the pan a casserole." She muttered to herself but did a terrible job of keeping it quiet.

  The birds took turns swimming in the oil until they were nice and colorful. Olive oil oozed down their wet skin, dripping into the casserole. I set the twins in a pan and winked. "I'll be with you lovely ladies soon."

  The lardons had their own dip in the oil before getting tossed into the hot pan. Echoes of crackling pork fat filled the kitchen. And the aroma—oh, a field of spring flowers had nothing on the smell of frying lardons.

  The pheasants rested on a mattress of potatoes and spices with bacon strip blankets. I briefly imagined Charlotte lying in bed with nothing but bacon covering her breasts.

  "I know that look. What degenerate thoughts are you thinking?"

  "In a kitchen?" I gasped. "What kind of scoundrel do you take me for?"

  "My husband."

  I winked at her.

  She took a bite from the discarded onion top. "You gonna tell me?"

  "I was just—" I stopped when Char licked her finger. She noticed me noticing and made a show of it. No, Robin, you’re in the kitchen. A sacred place. Deep breath, count to three. When that wasn't enough, I went to twenty. "Bacon boobs."

  Char’s tongue stopped caressing her finger. "Did I hear that right?"

  "If you have to ask, then the answer is yes." I patted the bacon strips on the second bird.

  "And pheasant boobs… excites you?"

  "What, no. Stop making food weird."

  "Hey, I'm not the one fondling a bird."

  That wasn’t gonna get a response. I doused the twins in a glassful of hot wine before setting them in the oven.

  "And now we wait?" Char asked.

  "Now we wait."

  Char and I made our way to the sofa and stared at the fireplace. Her hip rested on my lap, with my head on her shoulder, arms entwined.

  "Did you enjoy your weekend, Char?"

  "I did." She sighed. "Shame I’ll have to go back to work soon. Who knows what bugs we’ll need to fix."

  "Then should we skip Virgil’s closing ceremony and have a swan song adventure?"

  She considered it but shook her head. "I’m a bit adventured out. I’d rather watch the fire."

  Something in her eyes felt off. Guilt wasn't an emotion Cher often showed. What was she not telling me? "Something wrong, love?"

  "We never slayed a dragon."

  That clearly wasn't it, but I'd play along. "We can do that when the game comes out."

  "I wanted to slay one this weekend."

  "Like I said, we still have this evening."

  "And like I said, I’m adventured out," she snapped.

  Ah, so this was a big deal. Prodding further would make her obstinate, so I changed topics. "You never told me about Project Ayla."

  Her side-eye glare wasn't encouraging. "For good reason. Ayla is the other server. It's Pippin's preferred project. 'An endeavor in psychological healing', he called it. As if an immersive adventure can't be healing too. Ayla is a glorified spa with more resources than we ever got."

  "Sorry for bringing it up. You don’t have to think about work right now. Right now is just about the two of us."

  "Yeah…"

  There was that look again. Did Char’s secret involve that Marcus guy Virgil mentioned? "I’m still one of those two right?"

  "Of course! Why would you even think otherwise?"

  "You're being evasive about something. Wondering if all that time away made you realize you can do better."

  Charlotte didn't speak, but I heard the gears turning in her head. She was ready to say whatever she was hiding. It was just a matter of how she wanted to phrase it. I braced for impact.

  "Three."

  "The magic number?"

  "Yeah. Earlier you said the two of us." She took my hand and placed it on her belly. “I want it to be the three of us.”

  Thankfully I was already sitting, else her answer would've dropped me to my knees. “Are you…”

  She quickly shook her head. “Not yet. I was thinking we could start trying when we got home… what’re you thinking?”

  “Not sure to be honest. It’s less coherent thought and more emotion.”

  “Then what’re you feeling?”

  "Blindsided," I said. "A little scared. But happy." I gently squeezed her hand. "Is it too early to pick out names?"

  She smiled. "Have any good ones?"

  "Always been partial to Colette."

  "It’s not an ex-girlfriend, is it?"

  "Nope. Just think it has a nice ring to it. Means victory."

  "Victory?" Charlotte mused. "I like the sound of that. Know what other sound I like?"

  "A level up jingle?"

  "Close." She pecked my lips. "The sound of ‘happy anniversary.’"

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  ***

  Char and I were almost too exhausted for the closing ceremony, but we made it all the same. About three hundred people stood in the shopping district, Acedia according to my HUD.

  The first firework exploded into the shape of a large sword. The second formed a rain of fireballs. The crowd oohed and aahed as the show continued. Ten fireworks went off at once forming SINS OF AURO in the star encrusted sky.

  One final firework exploded into a man clad in a platinum-red skin suit with gold trimmings and a jester’s hat. Virgil, I think? He spread his arms and legs out wide in a star-shape. "Splendid to see you all here, my friends! Can I get another round of applause for the fireworks?"

  The crowd obliged. Char rolled her eyes and muttered something about him being a showoff.

  "Although I am saddened our time together has to be cut short, I hope you all enjoyed your stay," he said.

  He received a collective of affirmative shouts with an F-bomb sprinkled in for good measure.

  Virgil clapped his hands together. "Splendid! I'm so glad to hear that. I—" His eyes rolled back; static flashed across his sclera.

  "Is this a glitch?" I asked Char.

  She frowned. "Not one I’m aware of. Knowing him, it’s just theatrics."

  His eyes rolled forward, revealing pure gold irises. He puckered his newly glossy lips and bowed. "My friends." His voice sounded both deeper and overly saccharine. Like gravel mixed with honey. "Since you enjoyed your stay so immensely, I have taken the liberty of extending your time here."

  There were still some happy shouts, but I could feel the enthusiasm waning.

  A human man in a set of armor stepped forward. He held a shield in his right hand and a lance in his left.

  Screenname: AzurekNight. Race: Human. Level: 10 Class: Paladin. Affinity: Light.

  "What do you mean extend?" he growled.

  "Do you not know what the word means?" Virgil mocked.

  "I know—"

  Virgil snapped his fingers and summoned a thick blue book. "Let's see if I can find it—ahh! ‘To make longer.’" He snapped the book shut, and it vanished into wisps of smoke. "That’s what I’ve done."

  "How long have you extended our stay?" AzurekNight growled.

  Virgil pressed his hands together. When he pulled them apart, a large screen appeared between them. "This is the map of Auro you all have in your HUD." He pointed to a large star in the center of the map. "This is our current location, Acedia, capital city of Acheron, the Neutral district. There is a district for every affinity in Auro. That means we have a grand total of…"

  He paused as if waiting for a response. No one said anything. His shoulders slumped. "Do I have to do all the work?" He held up his right hand. "Neutral, Air, Water, Earth, Fire, Light, and Shadow." Seven fingers appeared on his hand. "A grand total of seven districts." He closed his hand; the extra fingers faded and reappeared on his left hand.

  "Each district has a special District Dungeon. I’ve taken the liberty of marking their locations on your maps." He clapped his hands together twice, and seven diamonds appeared on the screen.

  "You'll take the path of the Old King, making your way from Ira to Galeotto and Aleppe. Then, you'll conquer Dolorum, Amècche and Clymenus before ending your stay at Acheron’s Golden Palace. While the level fluctuates depending on the number of players and their levels, expect each to be about five levels higher than the last."

  His glossy lips formed a smile that chilled my bones. "Your stay is extended until the Golden Palace has been cleared. Then every player will awake in their PODs in Pippen Tower."

  "That’s bullshit!" someone shouted. The shout was mixed with shouts of agreement and nervous murmurs.

  Virgil chuckled. He made an okay sign with his hand and wiggled three fingers. "I respectfully beg to differ. It gives everyone the opportunity to experience the adventure of a lifetime. You should all be thanking me. But, if it’s too tall a task then how about some assistance?"

  At the snap of his fingers, another hundred or so people blinked into Acedia. Not one of them was a race other than Human. None of them had classes or unique screennames either. I recognized the woman with the guitar from the Auro-ientation. The one with a silver lanyard. Oh, these were the Ayla players.

  Virgil spread his arms. "Denizens of Lake Ayla, let me be the first to welcome you to Sins of Auro. You'll have a chance to properly make your characters later. I'll even throw in extra levels to, well, level the playing field." He giggled at his pun.

  AurekNight pointed his lance at Virgil. "You’re not Virgil, are you?"

  "Moi?" He touched his hand to his cheek and laughed. "Hardly. I'm Mendax, your friend and humble administrator. I hope we get to be bosom buddies."

  "I’m not your bosom buddy, Admin," AzurekNight growled.

  The Admin pouted. "I’d prefer you call me Mendax. My friends do."

  "Then Admin sounds perfect to me. Why are you doing this?"

  The Admin shrugged his shoulders until they reached his temples. "Who knows? There are so many good reasons. Revenge on Pippin Pharmaceuticals for a dear loved one’s passing. Maybe I didn’t receive credit for my work on the PODs. Or, my personal favorite, I just enjoy watching rats scurry when they’re trapped in a maze."

  Malice dripped from his words. His eyes scanned the crowd before breaking into another laugh. "I suppose it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is I easily hacked into the servers and have the entire game at my beck and call." He clicked his tongue and wagged his finger. "Some truly shoddy coding, by the by."

  Charlotte tensed beside me. I gently squeezed her hand. She relaxed a skosh but was still on edge. We all were.

  AzurekNight spat. "I wager it’s something more pathetic. You didn’t get picked for the beta, did you?"

  The Admin stopped laughing.

  "Knew it," AzurekNight said. "You remind me of my kid throwing a fit when she didn’t get what she wanted for Christmas."

  The Admin’s mouth melted away, but his lips quickly reformed into a smirk. "You've got some moxie in you. What's your name?"

  "You can see my name."

  The Admin chuckled. "You're right; I can." He hummed to himself. "Let's look through the files and see what we find—ha! Diego."

  AzurekNight tensed up. "What's it to you?"

  "Aww, don't be so defensive. I like your name. It has a good adventurer’s ring to it." He tapped his chest twice and glanced up at the sky. "The kind of name that strikes fear into the hearts of men."

  "Men like you?"

  The Admin laughed. "Heavens no, but it’s cute you think so." He stared at the crowd, rubbing his knuckles against his chin. "How to convince you all that I just want to be friends… wait, I know!" He stood up straight and clapped his hands together twice. Bright light emanated from his hands and took the form of a small brass whistle.

  “Each of you will find this whistle in your inventory. One toot will call me to your position." He pressed the whistle to his lips and played a short jingle. "After all that, I’ll be more than happy to chat," he sang. He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. "Forgive me. I enjoy a good rhyme from time to time." He laughed again following his second rhyme.

  Sure enough, I had a new item.

  Brass Whistle: The power of the Admin in the palm of your hand! Playing this item will summon the Admin to your side, though he may be delayed if multiple people summon him at once or if he’s asleep. Uses: N/A.

  AzurekNight shook his head. "We didn’t need a whistle to chat with Virgil."

  The Admin’s eye twitched. "Yes, that may be true. But riddle me this, Diego. Did he ever give you something shiny? And musical? I must certainly say no. This prrrroves I am the superior administrator!" He giggled. "But since some of you seem unconvinced, I’ll throw in a bonus." He kissed the brass whistle, and it turned gold. "A brass whistle will summon me, but I may not help you if I don’t feel up to it. A golden whistle might as well be a genie’s lamp. One toot equals one wish. Of course, I have my limitations, but I’ll work with what I can. Now all I need is a volunteer to try it out."

  He closed his eyes and spun so quickly he turned into a pastel tornado. The brass whistle flew out of the tornado and landed in the unsuspecting arms of another player. Thank God, it didn’t go to me or Char. The Admin opened his eyes and pointed at the poor sap. "You, good sir. What’s your wish?"

  "Um…-I—"

  The Admin shook his head. "No no no. You have to blow on the whistle first."

  The player blew on the whistle.

  The Admin teleported in front of his face. "Yeeeees? What wish can I grant for you today?"

  "I want to get out of here. I want to leave!"

  The Admin pouted. "Oh. That's just disheartening. Here I am. Going out of my way to make friends with you. And you want to leave without playing the game with me.”

  The color drained from the man’s face. He averted his eyes and nodded.

  "Then you have to say it. The wish isn't official until you do."

  "I wish to leave this game!"

  "As you wish." The Admin rolled up his sleeves and cracked his knuckles. He curled his fingers into a fist and punched. His fist stopped just in front of the player’s nose. "Boop." He flicked the player’s nose, shattering him into smithereens.

  Diego dropped his lance in shock. "What did you do?"

  The Admin shrank back. "Please don't shout. It makes me feel as if I did something wrong."

  "You killed him!"

  "Yes, well, he asked to leave the game. This was the fastest way out." His eyes glowed like a lightbulb. "Which reminds me, this is a perfect time for a demonstration. Guys, gals and other pals, please turn your attention here." He snapped his fingers and pointed at the screen.

  The image of the map turned to static before being replaced by a camera feed of a P.O.D. room. The camera zoomed in on one particular P.O.D. A young man who didn’t look a day older than me sat motionless inside. The heart rate monitor beside him flashed at a rapid rate. There was no pause between each beep. Technicians scrambled; the beeps kept coming. Faster. Faster! Until they stopped entirely, and a long flat line covered the screen.

  "I decided to make your experience more immersive, so I dabbled with the P.O.D. systems. They’re synchronized with all your receptors now. You’ll feel everything. The wind on your face, the taste of an apple, the sting of a bee. If your HP hits zero, you’ll even learn how it feels to die. Of course, your real body will succumb to shock. The overload of stimuli will trigger cardiac arrest and lead to asystole. To put it simply." He pointed to the flat line on the screen. "You die when your HP hits zero."

  Diego retrieved his shield and lance. "It won’t come to that."

  "Oh? Do tell me, Diego, why it won’t."

  "Someone will come for us. Virgil. The technicians. The police! We won’t have to play your game, Admin."

  The Admin covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. It didn't work.

  "What's so funny?"

  "You, of course. Your plucky moxie is adorable. You can wait till judgment day for someone to save you, Diego." The Admin leaned forward and showed his teeth. "And when they don’t, you know where to find the District Dungeons." He snapped his fingers, and the screen dissolved.

  "For the rest of you willing to play, I have an additional gift for you. It can be so hard to level up sometimes. Doing boring quests, grinding against monsters. That’s no fun. So, I decided to implement a streamlined way of gaining EXP." The bone-chilling smile returned. "The fastest way to gain levels is by killing other players."

  His words silenced the crowd.

  "You see, players are worth more experience than a monster. I added a multiplier to the experience based on their level. Killing a level one player adds 1% more experience, killing a level two adds 2% more, etc. It helps to fatten them up first before stabbing them in the back." He giggled. "See? I’m not such a bad administrator. I’m adding additional spice to your experience. You should be thanking me."

  He yawned and waved his hand in front of his face. "Well, folks, that’s my time. You’ve been a lovely audience. Be sure to tip your waitresses. Oh, and be sure to check your Friends list often. Dead players won’t appear on the list. It’s a good way to keep track." He sighed. "I’m so nice to all of you. I’ll be here all week…-or you know, however long it takes. Toodles." He waved as his body disappeared in a flurry of golden sparks.

  An uncomfortably long silence followed. I… didn’t know how to process this. A man just died. One wrong move in a dungeon or against a monster, and I’d follow. The sick bastard made player-killing a viable option. I’d never stoop to that. Char would never consider it. But I couldn’t put it past anyone else.

  I grabbed Charlotte's hand. "Hey, Char?"

  She squeezed my hand. "Yes, Robin?"

  There were so many things I wanted to say. To express my simmering fear. To chastise her blind faith in the P.O.D. technology. To tell her it wasn’t her fault.

  I whispered in her ear. "Happy anniversary, Charlotte."

  She sighed. "Happy anniversary, Robin."