“You have to eat your stats?” Jenny said as we walked down the stairs toward the ground floor.

  “I do. I think the System glitched when I got my race, because it became my only choice.”

  “How did you get to Level 10 so fast?” Jenny said.

  “I ate a few guides.” Jenny’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  A horrified look flashed across Tim’s face, “That’s fucked up.”

  “Says the guy who picked his race based on length and girth!” I said. Tim’s expression shifted to rage as Jenny laughed.

  “Do you even have anything down there?” TIm said.

  I hadn’t actually paid attention to that when everything changed. I gingerly reached my lower arms down and couldn’t quite stifle my gasp. There was nothing there. Smooth as a Ken doll. I had not felt any need to relieve myself since the transformation, and now I knew why. “Oh.”

  Tim saw my face and burst into laughter, hands on knees laughter. Jenny gave me a pained smile.

  “I guess my race has no need for genitals or waste production systems. No more pooping for me.”

  “I’m kinda jelly!”

  “Welp, this is not very productive. We need to find one of these control spheres and work toward leveling you two up.”

  Tim finally settled into little fits of giggles.

  “And yes, Tim, that means you have to hit stuff with your flail. You do know how to use that thing, right?”

  TIm swung the flail into the adjacent stairwell wall, making a large hole. “My class gave me the basic skill for most melee weapons. It felt… weird, like downloading a file into my brain.”

  “Mine too!” Jenny skipped happily along, her massive hammer nonchalantly resting on her right shoulder.

  “Mine had no weapon skills, but I understand what you mean. Instinctually knowing how to do something like you’ve done it a hundred times even though you’ve never done it before.”

  They both were nodding as we stepped out into the street. The roads were old and overgrown with grass and weeds, as if no cars had driven on it for many years. Two blocks down a red beacon arced down into the middle of the street.

  “What do the different colors mean?” Jenny asked.

  “Let’s go find out.” I led the way, the others two steps behind. There was nothing evident from this distance and we only made it one block before loud caws echoed from our left. There were six birds perched on a thick cord that branched across the road, one of which was as tall as me. I checked the smaller birds first.

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  Bloodthirsty Crow. Level 5. These birds thirst for the blood of humanoids and once detected will fight until slain. Highest Stat: Agility.

  Bloodthirsty Crow Lord. Level 12. The ruler of the murder of crows in this area, the crow lord is quite a sight to behold. Beware its bloodmagic. Highest Stat: Perception.

  “We need to work together to get this done,” I said as my razorclaw blades extended out.

  I ran straight at the crow lord as the other birds took to the air. It just stared at me, its eyes turning red. Pain shot through my veins as my blood began to heat up. My leg muscles coiled as I leapt, my blades scoring minor hits on three of the smaller birds that tried to peck at me along my trajectory.

  I extended my arms out as I impacted with the huge bird. The blades buried to the hilt into its chest, my lower arms wrapping around it. I bit down again and again as the crow lord struggled to take to the air, blood gushing all over me.

  The blood moved, forming spikes that ran through my torso. I felt my health dip below half as the pain intensified, but I stubbornly kept hold and found purchase on the beast's neck. The flight faltered and we plummeted to the ground, landing hard.

  I took an extra bite before pulling myself free, looking to see how the others were doing. A crow smashed into the wall next to me as I turned to see Jenny's swing follow through into another diving crow, driving it into Tim's upheld spiked shield. Tim shook it loose as he was pecked in the back, a gushing wound knocking him to the ground.

  One of the crows I'd injured landed heavily on my shoulder, drilling its beak deep into my right arm. I screamed as I felt my body lock up. The blood magic of the crow lord was fading, but it desperately tried to finish me even as its life pumped out of the wounds I had made.

  Seeming to suddenly reverse the temperature of my blood, I felt my blood start to crystallize. My eyesight faded as I felt my consciousness slip.

  A loud crunch startled me awake. Jenny, seeing my state, had run over to the big crow and with a scream brought down her hammer as the crow lord's blood lanced out into her torso. The lance dissolved and she fell to her knees wincing from the pain.

  I ran to her. “Are you okay?”

  “Get the other birds!” She pointed at the last two that were swirling around Tim, who was now bleeding from several pecks across his body.

  With the death of the crow lord, the rest of the fight went fast. I made sure they were comfortably seated against the wall before sitting next to Jenny. My high vitality was already working to repair my injuries. As my eyesight returned, I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had both gained at least one level from the fight.

  “How many class levels did you get?” I asked.

  “Three,” they answered in unison.

  “Nice! I'll find out in a sec if I leveled or not.”

  “Right. You need to eat the crow lord? Isn't that thing too big?” Tim said.

  I stood and stretched, wiping blood on my already messy leathers. “Nope. Might take a few minutes.” I walked over to the corpse of the bird. Jenny had crushed its skull, so I started there. Several minutes later I walked back to Tim's grossed out look. Jenny had turned to look at something else.

  You have devoured Level 12 Bloodthirsty Crow Lord. Their highest stat was Perception. Your base Perception has increased by 5 points. Bonus stats from eating a Bloodthirsty Crow Lord of a higher level than yourself. All stats increased by 1. Bonus experience earned.

  “Bruh, what the fuck?!” Tim said, his minotaur face pale with nausea.

  “I couldn't watch that,” Jenny said, “I'm not feeling too good right now.” She still had a hand pressed against the small hole in her torso.

  Tim leaned over and threw up, “Yeah, same. I say we rest here for a while.”

  My feast and high vitality got me into working order faster than I expected. “I'm feeling better already. I'll go investigate the red beam thing.”

  “Be careful,” Jenny said before she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.

  In the middle of the road where the beam struck was a sewer grate with a fancy ‘S’ engraved into it. I bent to touch it.

  Dungeon of Optimum Profession Exploration. Requirements: Class Level 10+. Requirements met. Begin? Y. N.