Going Home

  He wasn’t sure why he thought that it would have changed. The central square clock tower, the bumpy stone roads. The iron lampposts housing spell-candles that illuminated the streets, the incessant noise of carriages moving through town all throughout the day. The narrow gray buildings that rarely ever went higher than four or five stories lined up in neat rows down the main streets until they reached the quieter parts of town by the outskirts, where only the wealthy could afford to live. Where home was when he had been saved.

  We were waiting for you.

  Why didn’t you show up like you said you would?

  Stopping at the opening of a dingy alley, one that never changed throughout the years, Theo answered the voices of his nightmares.

  I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I didn’t know.

  “Theo? You comin’?”

  You knew, didn’t you?

  That’s why you didn’t come.

  “One moment.” He forced a small smile and waved away his classmates to walk further down the empty alleyway.

  We were our everything.

  We had no one but each other.

  When he reached the center, he turned left to where the wall jutted inwards to accommodate the metal plate on the ground. Warm, putrid air escaped from the unfastened sides, easily negligible when the smell of rotting, burning flesh still lingered in his mind.

  Theo shifted his eyes to the space beside the metal plate that once fit exactly three destitute children and their meager belongings, now replaced with small, wilted flowers and blood that had not washed away for years. Shielded from the elements, with the high, slanted roofs above dispersing any rain or sleet, their corner of the world was unchanged as it always was.

  Yet I…I have changed.

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled a gold coin out of his pocket to place beside the flowers that were once colorful, now dead.

  You both must have suffered so much. I wish I could have been there for you. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.

  There was no response from his ghosts this time.

  Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Theo stood up and made his way out of the alley.

  “You didn’t have to wait for me,” he murmured when he saw who had been waiting for him.

  Faris looked away. “It’s okay. Seemed important.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  Silently, they returned to the group, who had stopped in front of one of the two majestic MATS buildings at the end of the street.

  “Detour?” asked Moriya with a raised eyebrow, glancing at Faris first, then Theo.

  Theo nodded, looking up at the official building for housing MATS members in front of them. “Shall we?”

  “You all head in first,” the professor unexpectedly responded. “I’ve got to deal with this book, but I’ll be back before morning. Chel will help get everyone verified and checked in. Do you remember your tactician’s duties?”

  He had memorized the list. “Bindings for everyone in the morning, shorter version that sends messages with command within a certain radius. Travel in twos to raise the least suspicion. Curfew is at midnight, and take attendance before bed.”

  Moriya nodded curtly and turned around to the larger, even more magnificent white stone building beside theirs. “Good. Now get going.”

  * * *

  Kor, check; Selene, check; Faris, check; Callie, check; Elias…

  Theo glanced at the person across from him lounging lazily on a couch exactly like the one he was also lounging lazily on. Feet up in the air, hands behind his head, his classmate’s eyes were fixated on the ceiling.

  “Why aren’t you asleep again?” the class lead chuckled.

  “Thinking.”

  Though it would have been an opportune time to make a jab at the listless student, the seriousness in his voice gave him pause. “Callie?”

  “Yeah. Lynd.”

  “Ah.”

  The one thing that had gone wrong. A story that was not his to tell, one that Elias had pulled him to the side and briefly informed him of in the morning, explaining the dead body he had heard whispers of upon leaving.

  In the uncomfortable silence, Theo returned to his checklist. Elias, check; Chelsi, check; Moriya…not yet. Equipment, done; weapons, done. He looked up at the ceiling as well, lost in his thoughts. What do I need to bring tomorrow…Moriya said we’d head over at nine…

  “So I heard you proposed.”

  Theo continued to watch the answerless white ceiling. “I did.” And then, after another long silence, his gaze drifted back to his classmate. “You should know a lot about proposals, shouldn’t you?”

  Elias didn’t budge. “Well, I didn’t ask for or want any of it. It was the girls or their families.”

  He couldn’t quite believe that the lazy duelist had been such a lady-pleaser. “You had that many girls after you?”

  He shrugged. “Guys, girls. It was whatever. Folks would talk about settling down all the time because of it. ‘You won’t have another chance,’ they’d say. ‘Oh, she’s so nice, and she comes from such a good family.’” Elias scoffed, sat up, and crossed his legs on the couch while using the armrest as a pillow. “Glad I’m here now, though. Priorities are different.”

  As the sleepy student’s eyes closed, Theo returned to his checklist.

  I’ve got to figure out which books…

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  “Did you ever have a moment of doubt…did it ever cross your mind that she’d say no?”

  Again, he lowered the paper, this time staring right into Elias’s lucid eyes. “No. Not a second.”

  “But she was going to leave. You knew that. And you still popped the question? Even though you were never going to see her again?”

  It would have been a lie to say that he hadn’t considered any of that, so Theo instead answered, “I wanted to do it for her.”

  “But…what…what if she says no? What if I die later on? What if she dies? I certainly can’t do that to her or myself.”

  “Well…how would you feel if she died, and you never got to do it? Would you be relieved?”

  Elias averted his gaze, voice low. “No. I’d probably hate myself.”

  Just as Theo was about to pose another question, Elias spoke again, this time louder and more casual. “Okay, but if I died, then she wouldn’t have to be tied down to me.”

  “You really think she’ll feel that way? Like she’s being tied down?”

  Once again, Elias fell into deep contemplation. “I don’t want to hurt her. Maybe I’ll wait.” He paused. “How…long do you think it’ll be until the war is over? Or whatever this world-ending stuff is. Ty say anything?”

  “I…I don’t know.” It was the truth, and hearing it come out of his mouth felt almost akin to giving up. But it was also the reason he was here—answers. Whatever Em was willing to give him, he would take. No matter if they were lies, no matter if they weren’t what he wanted to hear. “The Circles have been…approximately three years at a time? So we’ve got another year, maybe less. There’s no guarantee that stopping the Circles will put an end to everything, either.”

  “Maybe…maybe I can wait…”

  Listening to the words trailing off, feeling emotions that he had shut away resurfacing, Theo’s thoughts came to a halt when he watched Elias’s eyes widen at something behind him. His posture immediately straightened, and so too did Theo’s as he craned his head to watch a bleary-eyed, messy-haired Callie walking into the main room wearing a blanket as a cape.

  “Oh. Callie.”

  “Sorry. Were we loud?” apologized Theo.

  Callie jumped in her spot, turned from Elias to Theo, and then immediately took her blanket and covered her entire head with it. “Oh, Graces,” she squeaked. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to get a drink of water. My hair is messy, and I’m unsightly; don’t look at me. Sorry, sorry.” Shielding her face, the timid support filled a cup of water in the small kitchen behind Theo, continuing to apologize even as she scampered back into her room.

  The tactician regarded his duelist, who had the most smitten look that he had ever seen on him. “Yes, Elias?” he prodded kindly, chuckling to himself before returning to his checklist.

  “On…on second thought.” Elias got up and sighed loudly. “Maybe I won’t wait after all.”

  A soft laugh escaped his lips, regretfully sprinkled with a dash of forlornness and a dusting of nostalgia. “Good luck. I’ll be rooting for you.”

  “Mm. Thank you. Both you and Ty.”

  Nodding, taking the gratitude that did not rightfully belong to him, Theo absently flipped through the pages for a long time. Elias had long ago disappeared into his and Callie’s room, and here he was still awake with neither purpose nor aim.

  Remember to do equipment checks after every battle if you can, in case you run into something else. Tomes are less urgent because their durability doesn’t go down as fast, and you can easily keep track of the usages…you’re listening, right?

  Yes, dear. I’ve got a good memory. If I can remember most spells after a few minutes, I can remember this. Keep going.

  You mean when you want to remember something. I just don’t want you to forget. I won’t be able to help you later. Now…where was I? Weapons are tougher. You’d do that with your regular equipment checks, but unless someone requests it, you could make an estimate on when it’ll break depending on how many battles the user engages in. On principle, healing tomes will need fewer checks than supports, and supports need fewer than offensive. Don’t waste your time if you don’t need to check it.

  Okay, got it.

  If you ever get the chance to go to HQ, they should have—oh, you must have been there many times already, huh? They’ve got an entire department in there for equips, center of the first floor, if I recall correctly…

  Mhm.

  You could probably get some stuff there that the Academy doesn’t give us, some high-grade items…but it’s a store, and you’ve got to pay for it. Maybe if we head there one day…maybe I could try to see if I could get everyone something. I don’t know how I’d be able to bring back a box of equipment if I went myself…

  The front door clicked open, and Theo’s head snapped up to watch the last person on his checklist return.

  “Hey. You’re not asleep yet.”

  “I’m not.”

  Moriya let the door close and took a long look around the room before his eyes landed on Theo. “Everyone inside their rooms?”

  “Mhm.”

  “Where’s mine?”

  Theo pointed behind him. “First door on the right. Chel picked it.”

  The professor nodded once and then checked his timepiece.

  “So, what did you do with the book?”

  He looked up. “What? You want to take another look at it?”

  Theo shook his head. “No. It’s okay. I wanted to know what you needed it for, where you had heard of it.”

  “Ah.” Appearing more troubled than usual, Moriya checked his timepiece again before responding. “I knew it existed, and I saw it used by an Anchor in a previous Circle or two but didn’t know where it came from. You could say that it was fate or dumb luck that we ran into those people today.”

  “Why do you keep on checking your timepiece?”

  He looked up and blinked. “Because I’m wondering if I have enough time between now and morning to deliver it.”

  “You said it was important. Is it for Ty?”

  “Yes.”

  “Let’s go. I’ll come with you.”

  But the professor shook his head, as he suspected he would. “No. I won’t be handing it to her personally. You coming with me won’t let you see her, if that’s what you want. Anyway.” He spared his timepiece one last look before turning around and placing several seals on the door. “There isn’t enough time currently, even if I use the tricks up my sleeve. I’ll keep it safe in the meantime. How does it feel to be back home?”

  The question caught him off guard. “Home?”

  “Syarktos. HQ.”

  Theo lowered his eyes. “Ah, I see. It’s different.”

  “And what are you doing still awake?”

  “Was just chatting with Elias about—” Theo stopped to give the professor a long look. “You know, I never asked, but you and Chelsi…”

  Moriya’s expression was unwavering. “Yes?”

  “You…are you both…” It was hard to find the right words to ask someone he had idolized for so long.

  But the professor tilted his head slightly, and then, without a single word escaping his lips, he pulled the glove off his left hand and raised it up to his student.

  On his fourth finger was an embellished and immaculate silver ring.

  “Oh,” breathed Theo.

  Moriya brought it up to his face to inspect. “Third Circle,” he stated plainly. “There was no proposal. We bought the rings in Thaon, got them enchanted and registered, and then put them on each other at the Academy infirmary.”

  “Third Circle…that’s a long time ago,” Theo replied quietly. “Did you two meet before the Circles began?”

  The professor’s next words were uncharacteristically soft. “Yes. I was in my fourth year, and she was in her first.”

  “I never noticed it. You almost always have gloves on.”

  “I may be broken, but I still know that I have to keep it safe. No matter what.”

  A door opened from the back hallway, and Moriya let his hand fall to his side.

  “Oh, Nate, you’re back,” Chel said in a small voice from the door.

  Nate immediately began heading to her, but not before giving Theo one last look. “Go sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Yeah. Maybe soon.”

  “I mean it. Go.”

  “Okay, okay. Good-night then, professor.”

  “Good-night, Theo.”

  Home. The word lingered as he returned to his room, the second one to the left through the hallway on the other side, between Faris’s room and Kor and Selene’s. And, as he lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, thinking about the home that Em had made for him here, where memories and emotions could not be taken back, least of all love, night seized him.

  * * *

  A blood-red sky. A forest as far as the eye could see, deep into a mountain he barely recognized.

  He looked down and saw that he was at the top of a cliff. Below him, a mass of people chanted as they encircled an unlit bonfire.

  No.

  In her black tactician’s robe, sword by her side, was Ty, bound up by her wrists, her ankles, and her torso. Blood soaked her body. Dripping down her hands, splattered across her face, staining her dark dress an even deeper shade of death.

  As he watched on in horror, he could hear the chanting grow louder and louder, droning on and on in the Ancient tongue as the bonfire glowed.

  It began with a spark, as if the Earth Mother was mocking him. Then, as the flames dispersed like the heavenly tree he had once touched, the fire burned brighter.

  Yet Ty remained unmoving despite the fire at her toes, letting her tears mix with the blood on her face, drip onto her dress as if it could wash away even a minute amount of blood, as if it could dash away the unyielding darkness.

  When the fire finally reached her ankles, she weakly raised her tear-stained face. Her hollow eyes met his as if she had known all along that he was there. Like this was all predestined.

  Her mouth moved, forming a single word at first. One that he swore he could hear, even though there was no way he could have with how far he was.

  And then…she smiled. Through her tears. Her mouth opened again.

  But before he could see what she said next, he was running. Rushing to her. Hurtling off the cliff into the burning sky, hand outstretched as if he could fly, deny the Earth Mother and her rules, and reach her.

  Falling, falling, falling.

  Failing.