02/16/26- 11:50 pm

  Would it be over dramatic to say that this may be my last entry? In ten minutes it will be the next day, and the first day of the eclipse season and the new moon. Initially, the plan was to try and create a ritual to better my situation with the core and Polaris. It was simple really, use my pentacle spell circle to empower a single black candle. The flame to represent the suns eclipse and the black candle for its honor to the new moon. It doesn’t grant an extreme amount of magic, but would help my control of the shadow magic within and around me.

  However, we haven’t addressed the attack from my last entry…

  I underestimated what was surrounding me at the time of my last entry. I assumed it was the normal shadow stalkers (that’s what I refer to the lesser shadows), and initially went outside with some Palo Santo and blessed water. I don’t usually use any other realm magic in the physical world if I can keep from doing so. My shadow debt and it’s effect on me would not turn out well, I would handle the low beings, but dig myself into deeper issues.

  However, they were not just shadow stalkers. They were Shadow Blood Assassins. They knew my routine, and knew I would deal with the shadow stalkers in a mundane way and not think otherwise. They used this time to attack. See, Shadow Blood Assassins were unique in the sense that they are specifically curated for a bloodline. They are the manifestation of generational curses and the dark will of others within the bloodline who may wish harm on someone in their bloodline. The higher ranks of shadows are always eager to use what they can, but despite any rank, these assassin’s can only be summoned and allowed to be deployed with the approval of someone I share a bloodline with.

  I know I should care more of who caused this or orchestrated this, but I don’t care. If I had even a grain of control of my shadow magic. even without my light magic, they wouldn’t have been able to even step foot near me. I should have known better. The morning of my last entry I had burned a candle calling my Ancestors for protection and the smoke turned the candle charcoal black, more often a physical sign of dark workings, but I assumed it was just the usual shadows my Ancestors were holding off and warning about, but again not the case.

  I live in a small RV/trailer park community with my parents. It’s a small, mainly older crowd community and even has a smaller golf course with a little man made lake. In the day it’s not very pretty or anything, but at night it can be a little intimidating. There are minimal street lights in the community and when staring out to where the course is, it’s just pitch black. The slight reflection of the little lake, or the twinkle of the lights from the trailers on the opposite side of the trailer park.

  I have a large window in my room that faces the golf course, this darkness. It’s also where I keep my main altars, even with the blinds drawn the altars get light and shadow, day and night. The duality of who I am. When I went outside to cleanse the window and push the shadows back, the smoke just made the stalkers run like rats. After I sent them away I stood outside a bit longer than normal looking up to the stars, just in contemplation. I wondered whether another ritual was even worth trying again ironically. Will I finally gain control again after all this time.

  That is when the first blood needle struck my left shoulder, then my chest, left leg and then a larger javelin sized needle straight to my stomach. Straight to where my core is.

  I didn’t have any magic moving through my eyes since the stalkers ran, so when I pushed magic into them, I saw the three assassins slowly walking out of the abyss golf course and move towards me, quickly picking up speed. They were rotting skin, with their faces mainly covered, assassins in the main sense of the word, but their clothing looked like it was made from flesh and blood itself. The world was quiet, and if anyone had seen me here in the physical world all they would have seen was stumbling, cramping, and me being on the verge of convulsing.

  So, what did I do?

  I decided to just surrender to the shadow within me. I used it, sending out tendrils of shadow to creep out of my wounds and wrap around the blood needles and absorb them. Whoever sent them forget that even with them being of shadow, they are still bound by blood.

  Blood that I share.

  I was outside, the window being the only thing to separate me from my main altars, one of them being that of my Ancestors. So, I lit the Palo santo again, or at least tried to in the state that I was in. When I finally got it to light, I clasped my hands around the stick of wood like I was going to pray, the beautiful smell of the burning wood and the trance like movement of the smoke lifting to the sky. I did all I could to focus myself and my mind.

  Stolen story; please report.

  Again, I am in a vow of silence, I have not been able to verbally use magic in over two years, so either I use rituals, my staff, wand, or thread. With absorbing the blood, lighting the Palo santo, and being close to my Ancestral altar, I mustered every last bit of will and intention and called my Ancestors. I kept my eyes closed as the pain of the needles still hurt me and the pain of using the shadow magic moving through those open wounds. Not only that, but the pain of transmuting the evil intent infused into the blood needles to bend and change to offer assistance. I pushed though. I either fight or I die. It’s as easy as my parents finding me with a surprise heart attack or aneurysm…or worse, self inflicted ending.

  When I opened my eyes I felt the surge of my magic, the smoke no longer wild and random but began to move in a slow vortex. The barely lit wood began to catch fire, creating more smoke and dwindling in size. The hot ash falling on my hands, the heat brings uncomfortable pain to my face. I pushed through it, I would not die there. I refused.

  The smoke suddenly reached such a large amount I assumed the best I could conjure was a shield of sorts from the smoke, but I was wrong. To my pleasant surprise the smoke was not creating a barrier, but a portal of sorts. From the smoke a large beast formed of smoke stepped out. It was on all fours, a beast the size of my motorcycle practically. Its form shifted from different types of features. I saw features of dog, panther, jaguar, the forms mixing and shifting while keeping its large presence. It stepped out, and moved its head slightly, almost side eyeing me before returning its gaze to the three assassins. That is when the voice entered my mind.

  “You are lucky you carry so much favor in the other realms. Usually I would be so glad to be here with you, but not in these conditions and not with your neglect to the greater realms. Despite my summoning I cannot destroy them, your body is weak and you are dying. I will hold them off. You must start the Ritual at midnight of the new moon. There have been petitions made on your behalf. May you live to see the other side of this conflict.”

  My initial thought was to ask questions. Petitions?

  That didn’t matter though, as I stumbled to run towards the front door the beast charged its smoke formed body shifting in and out of existence. At one point it disappeared from view and then a massive panther head appeared and just bit down in the area where all three assassins were. Two were taken down and being held back while the other was able to jump and shift out of the way, using the shadow of street lights to blink out of range. I didn’t stay much longer, I ran. I could feel the last assassin behind me, I just needed to get past the front door, the trailer was warded, I just needed to get inside.

  I was able to make it, but not without more wounds. At one point, I turned my body and face to check the distance and at that moment the assassin spit blood at me, the blood burning parts of my face, chest and stomach, leaving welts and burns. Once inside I did not think twice about looking outside. I slipped into my room, collapsed and passed out.

  That was basically two weeks ago. The only good news, I did not die. However, I did not heal. The last two weeks, you would think I would get my act together, but I haven’t. I just wallowed in sadness and anger, using it as an excuse to engage in my vices that just worsened the shadows in and around me.

  Yet, here I am. Less than ten minutes till I start this ritual. I barely have strength or will to stand before the spell circle, I’m just on this floor waiting to light the candle and move on as usual.

  The only thing that has truly plagued my mind the last two weeks was what the beast said. A petition can be many many things in the ways of magic and despite being physically here, my soul and spirit are stuck between timelines and my physical world will not change from its current state until I settle into a timeline, despite whether it’s good or bad. In a way, I keep dodging fate, having my soul leap to different timelines, and each time I do not succeed. I am the only soul out of all the versions of me in the infinite timelines that has the power to live, every other version of me is destined to die or has already died.

  So, what type of petition could it have meant? At this point, what more could they think of to help?

  I am tired and despite how much joy and honor I feel having and experiencing magic, I am not the protagonist I read about in litRPGs, or video games. I’m just…

  I don’t know.

  Alright, maybe this is where I end this entry. There is one minute until midnight. Here we go.

  12:00 am

  [Initializing unorthodox protocol. Please hold as we test auditory system.]

  [Auditory system successful. To properly receive a system, device or electronics must be sacrificed for integration of the system in a non-system realm. This device will be sacrificed. Per observation, continued documentation of journey and feats will be recorded and shared. Perspective and narration may take time to shift any errors. Inner thoughts and monologue will be used for documentation due to current Divine restrictions, please hold for a customized intro to the system.]

  …..

  Oh, I have officially reached psychosis.

  So, let me ground myself here before I lose my mind. Let's focus on the facts. I just lit the candle at midnight as I was told to do, I get a weird androgynous voice in my head, besides my own and then my Chromebook popped and exploded like it had a overheated battery. If that was not scary enough the minute I lit the candle darkness dropped from around the ceiling to the floor and even spread throughout the floor. It covered my door and all my LED lights, and my pink neon sign just completely disappeared. All I have around me are all the towers of unlit candles and nothing else. I’m standing in a literal void!

  The only light coming from the single flickering novena candle. The darkness didn’t just close over my windows and door, but in the darkness it feels like it’s endlessly expanding. It’s like I can walk past where my walls once were and walk further in. Despite my want to cry and scream internally, the longer I stare, the more I want to just walk out into the void.

  [WARNING: Remain close to the ritual candle as we work to create a unique intro. The light of the candle is the only property hiding and protecting your presence in The Void. Please wait for further guidance.]

  Oh.

  I am screwed…

  Wait, inner monologue and thoughts for documentation?

  YOU GUYS CAN SEE THIS TOO!?!?