The Boundary of Blood and Belief
Pyongyang, North Korea: POV Choi Ju-yeonAugust 2025
The military patrol vehicle sped through the capital’s traffic congestion, heading out of the city at high speed. I turned to the left and waved goodbye to the radio and television broadcasting tower—the workplace of Team Lazarus—with a heavy heart. This decision placed my life at stake. My heart began to tremble as the vehicle drove past the Workers' Party office in the Kim Il-sung Square area on the right.
The military vehicle surged across the Taedong River, leaving Pyongyang like a typhoon, reaching Anju, a city filled with trees and high mountains. It raced after the crimson sun as it disappeared behind the mountain peaks toward Kusong. The destination was the border city of Sinuiju, the western gateway adjacent to China.
The vehicle sped through the darkness with a clear purpose. Inside, the silence made the sound of my pounding heart audible.
“Fortunately, there’s a global conference in the capital today; the security forces have lowered the defense level to Level 1.” I broke the silence inside the car, where no one had spoken throughout the journey.
Private Sang-ah, the youngest, had already fallen asleep, leaving only me and Sergeant Sawn-jae, the driver, who continued to watch the road intently.
“Usually, the checkpoints are everywhere. We’ve passed several abandoned ones already,” Sawn-jae noted, his eyes still fixed on the road.
“Why did they lower the level?” Sawn-jae took his eyes off the road to ask.
“World leaders are gathered here. If it’s too strict, it would become an issue for them to be attacked.”
“It’s annoying how foreigners like to attack the Supreme Leader.” He still couldn't shake that set of information from his brain.
I glanced at the radio lying silent on the console… “The radio has no reports of abnormalities. It’s so quiet today. I think we made the right decision.”
The sun had already disappeared behind the mountain peaks. The vehicle continued to speed through the darkness, with only the headlights hitting the steep road. The bright moon shone upon the Santu Mountains ahead.
“We must reach the Yalu River before sunrise.” I turned to look at the clock on the dashboard: 20:35. There was still plenty of time for the escape.
After descending from the Santu Mountains, Sawn-jae spoke up, breaking the silence…
“After descending from the Santu Mountains, we have to face the major checkpoint of the 12th Battalion,” Sawn-jae said, his face still tense.
“Ne!” I nodded in acknowledgment. If we could pass this point, it would mean I’ve survived.
“I used to be stationed here before being sent to work with you, Comrade Captain. I used to guard the Taejin checkpoint along the banks of the Yalu River, exactly where we’re headed now,” he shared, telling me something I never knew.
During all the time we worked together, I didn't like him much; he often acted out of line. But this time, having to share this hardship, we’ve inevitably become comrades.
“I was also with the 12th Battalion’s communications unit for a short period. I once happened to catch a defector; after the interrogation was finished, I let them go. I caught them while hiking at Dong-Sawn-san Mountain, the same area as the Taejin checkpoint.”
“I’ve shot those who tried to escape, too. There were many corpses floating in the water; we were the ones who shot them all. One corpse earned us 5 loyalty points,” he said, his voice still tinged with pride. This land is devoid of mercy. Propaganda crams brutal mindsets into the military, ruthlessly killing fleeing citizens to build a kingdom of fear.
The pale moonlight illuminated his tense face, but his eyes glittered with an expression that was hard to read. Although it was dark inside the patrol vehicle, we were only a cubit apart. He sighed so frequently that I began to sense his growing confusion.
“Comrade Captain! Since I sobered up, I’ve been thinking about it the whole way…” The tone of his voice changed perceptibly.
“What is it?”
“In the past... I saw defectors as traitors. Today, I am about to become one myself. We are defecting.” He had been a soldier for a long time; the regime had completely dissolved the common sense of a normal human being.
“Have you ever talked to a defector? Why do they have to run, and what are they running from?” I somewhat understood a young man like Sawn-jae. Killing people earned him merit from those deaths.
Those poor villagers were branded as traitors and defectors by the authorities. The corpses of fellow countrymen lying dead by the roadside had become a common sight—a strategy of intimidation to instill such fear that no one dared to raise their head and ask questions.
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“Escaping from this sacred land leads to death regardless. By shooting them dead first, it’s as if we are helping their souls so they won’t have to suffer or lose their way,” he said. The scent of propaganda lingered within him as he began to sober up.
He was just like any other low-level soldier. Anyone who has never been out of the country cannot find reasons to explain or argue against their own beliefs. This is a nation that surrenders to media domination and is suppressed by fear from birth until death. The primary duty of the citizens is to revere the leader and show ultimate loyalty. No matter how much they suffer from starvation or hardship, they must smile.
“You know well enough that only soldiers like us have a better life. The villagers flee because of hunger. Nature is so cruel they cannot make a living; it’s so dry there’s no water for farming, and so cold that rice straw doesn't provide enough warmth. They’ve never eaten three full meals a day like us,” I said, lowering my hand to brush against the gun at my waist as my self-defense instinct began to work quietly.
“But I feel uneasy having to escape like this. It’s like... betraying the Supreme Leader.” He was clearly hesitating.
I probably couldn't win against the state’s deep-seated brainwashing… “Comrade! This world is very vast. It is our breath that determines whether we are still alive.”
I knew it wouldn't be easy to change a person's beliefs in such a short time, and I began to see the ill omens of what was to come.
He let out a heavy sigh... “How can I live without the Supreme Leader? Just the thought of it makes me unable to breathe. Other countries have nothing but poverty and deadly diseases. People are unfriendly and only think about seizing our nation's resources. Even if we could escape, we would either starve to death or be killed anyway.” Everything Sawn-jae said was a fundamental lesson taught from kindergarten to the doctoral level.
"Ugh... mm!!" Kang Sang-ah shifted, opened his eyes, and sat up to join the conversation…
“It’s true! I’ve studied it—our Supreme Leader once conquered Mount Baekdu all by himself. He could drive a yacht since he was three years old and is the only person who has ever stepped foot on the sun.” Sang-ah, still groggy, woke up to boast about the Leader’s virtues as well.
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Sawn-jae, having found a supporter, hurried to continue according to his beliefs...
“It’s not too late to change your mind. I’m truly troubled; the more I think about it, the more ashamed I feel.”
I could only sigh at having to encounter problems before even reaching the border. I could only think to myself whether he was stupid or blind. None of the high-ranking leaders here were without protruding bellies. The capitalists and high-ranking officials had more than enough to eat and use, while only the villagers were so starved they were nothing but skin and bones. I would have to rethink this... “Comrade! Stop the car.”
Sawn-jae turned the steering wheel, slowing the car down to park on the side of the road.
“If you won’t go, I’ll go alone.” I opened the door and stepped out to stand beside the vehicle.
Sawn-jae got out of the car and ran around to find me.
“Comrade Captain, I’m sorry. I truly feel guilty toward the Supreme Leader. I cannot betray the country.” Sawn-jae kept his head down, but the word 'betray the country' pierced right through my heart.
“Comrade Kang Sang-ah, are you coming or not?” I turned to look at Sang-ah, who was stepping down from the car.
“I will go with you, Comrade Captain. Who will take care of you if you have to face the cruelty outside the country?” he answered clearly.
I had to handle the problem.... “Comrade Sawn-jae, give me the radio and the gun.”
Sang-ah walked in to unstrap the gun from his chest, seized the radio, and threw them into the car before immediately plunging a short knife into his ribs.
“Argh!...”
Sang-ah raised the knife high. I shouted to stop him…
“That’s enough, Sang-ah. Let him go. For the sake of our relationship, you go your own way, Comrade, and I will go mine.”
“Ugh!” Sang-ah kicked him in the middle of the back until Sawn-jae tumbled forward, clutching his stomach as he walked away.
“We can’t let him go,” he said, turning the barrel of the gun toward Sawn-jae.
“Don’t!” I quickly grabbed the gun before Sang-ah could pull the trigger.
“The gunshot would be too loud. Don't waste time on him.” I pulled the 9mm pistol from his hand.
“Comrade Captain! People like him are the reason we won’t make it. It’s better to just shoot him,” Sang-ah grumbled, staring at the dark shadow walking away.
“If he survives, then consider it his good luck.”
The sound of nocturnal insects filled the air. The long road reflected the moonlight, showing only Sawn-jae’s dark silhouette disappearing into the distance. I understood the feelings of both men very well. What everyone shared was fear—an inexplicable fear that clung to every fiber of their being.
“Noona! You’re always this kind-hearted,” Sang-ah pouted as he hopped into the seat next to me.
“Come on! Just a little further and we’ll be safe.”
“Noona, you’ve faced nothing but terrible things. I was so happy when I went to pick you up from abroad. Now I feel regretful... Noona, you shouldn't have come back here at all.”
“Sang-ah! I’m sorry for putting you in this difficult position.”
The headlights swept back and forth along the mountain curves. After a long while, we descended from the mountains to the flatlands, where bright lights could be seen in the distance. A flashing red light ahead indicated a military checkpoint. I had reached the point I was worried about... the 12th Battalion.
My heart, which had calmed down, was jolted into a frantic beat once again.
“Noona! Turn the car around!”
“There are no reports on the radio. It’s nothing,” I comforted him, though my heart beat as loud as a war drum.
“Don’t risk it. It’s still not too late to change routes.”
“If we turn back now, they’ll definitely be suspicious. Sit properly.” Our vehicle was the only one on the entire road.
The car sped straight ahead, weaving through the staggered barriers placed across the road. Four soldiers in full gear stood with their arms crossed, waiting.
As the car drew closer, I saw another soldier lying on a canvas cot by the roadside. The soldier on the driver's side raised his hand as a signal to stop.
“Chung-seong!” He immediately saluted the moment his eyes caught the national flag emblem and the crossed-rifles symbol of the security forces. The sound of his heels clicking together disturbed the soldier in the cot, who startled awake…
“Where are you going?” he shouted in an annoyed voice, swaggering closer until our faces were clearly visible to each other.
“Huh!” He gasped, immediately puffing out his chest to salute…
“Chung-seong! Captain Ju-yeon, where are you going at this hour?”
“Heh!...” I secretly let out a sigh of relief. The fact that someone recognized me made my worries vanish instantly.
“I’m going to set up a computer system for Colonel Kim’s daughter tomorrow. It’s a private matter, so please keep it a secret,” I gave a sweet smile to that officer. I didn’t know who he was; I couldn't remember him.
“Please, go right ahead.” He bowed respectfully and stepped back.
Once the car passed through, I let out all my suppressed tension... “Aigoo!”
“Noona, how much further until the river?”
“If we drive straight for another 5 kilometers, we’ll reach the Taejin checkpoint—the final gate at the edge of the Yalu River.” At least I felt comforted that this younger brother didn’t let go of my hand along the way.
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“I don’t think it’s fair at all. Last time, Noona, you were so unlucky,” Sang-ah spoke, piercing my heart once again. The resentment within that had calmed down began to boil over.
“That’s probably true.” I swallowed the agony. It hadn't been long since the pandemic first appeared, before I was ordered to transfer from Team Lazarus to the security department.
That day... was the day I collapsed where I stood, and I can never forget it. I was charged with suspecting the actions of high-ranking officials. I was lashed 50 times, imprisoned for 15 days, and my loyalty level was demoted by one rank.
“My heart broke back then. Why don’t the higher-ups listen to us at all? The General shouldn't have had to end his life so dishonorably. He went on official duty for the nation, but as soon as he caught the deadly infection, he was...” He stopped talking, his expression strained.
I felt a lump in my chest... “They use 'security' as an excuse. Apa and Omma were so unlucky; they were victims of propaganda and victims of the regime.”
The resentment and pain spread through me as I thought of my late father and mother. I hate this damn country. I hate that Supreme Leader.
“I see high-ranking officers love to use security cases to attack their opponents. The General and the Madam were so kind. Just because they were infected, why didn't they help treat them?"
And then they bragged about having a miracle medicine that could cure every disease. It was just layer upon layer of lies.” He was aware of all the terrible events that had befallen my family. Those few words only made me hate my birthplace even more. Someone with a common cold ended up being charged as a threat to national security, and they shot him as if he weren't even human.
My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my late father and mother. I turned to look at Sang-ah with gratitude for his understanding... “Are you sure you won't regret later the decision to escape with me, Comrade?”
“If the General hadn't taken me in, I’d still be trudging through the snow catching rabbits to eat at the foot of Mount Baekdu, with no chance of ever seeing the city lights. I would regret it much more if I didn't follow you. Noona, you’ve taught me so many things. Now I’ll get to use that knowledge to pay you back.” His simple words struck my heart until tears blurred my vision.
“Gomawo, Sang-ah-ya.”
“I was so angry when Noona was arrested. How hard could it have been just to ask the hospital to re-verify the infection results? I think it was that guy who wanted the General to be a victim.”
My face burned with heat as I gritted my teeth, suppressing my emotions regarding my fate…
“If I don't die first, I will definitely come back. And if I can't return… I’ll keep getting even from the outside.” I was so angry my ears felt hot, and I gripped the steering wheel so hard it hurt my hands.
Sang-ah’s voice went silent. When I turned to look again... “ zzzz!”
“You little rascal! You’ve fallen asleep already.” I felt like giving him a slap; he ignited my anger and then just fell asleep on me.
The full moon had descended considerably, and the sky was so clear that the stars stood out prominently. The digital display showed 03:09. I drove the vehicle into a thicket and we helped each other cover it with nearby branches as best as we could. I packed the necessary belongings into my backpack.
The light from my headlamp flickered along the practice path. Medium-sized bushes on both sides extended their branches to snag my clothes and scratch my arms, though it was considered only a minor obstacle.
“Go up the hill until you reach the large tree about 500 meters away. That’s the spot where we can get through the fence,” I said, sprinting ahead.
“Yeah! I’m more than ready.”
We were escaping from a country that used fear as a tool for governance. Having to live amidst terror until it became a habit meant having to be quick-eyed with the leader's symbols and paranoid of companions who were ready to report you in exchange for a reward.
The national security law was a lethal weapon that the state used as a pretext to kill dissenters without mercy. Simply chanting that you love the nation, love the Supreme Leader, and wearing the garb of a "good person" could harass others as they please. Dissenters are branded as non-patriots who do not deserve to live.
“We’re here!” I walked until I reached the large tree, focusing my gaze along the beam of the flashlight, looking for a way down into the forest below. I gripped the branches to climb down the steep slope.
“Noona!!” Sang-ah ran up behind me to the crest of the hill.
“Ne!” I bent my back to avoid the branches and crawled through a gap in the broken mesh fence.
“Someone is following us! I saw car headlights.”
“Huh!”
Suddenly! A sound that made my hair stand on end caused us to turn and look at each other immediately.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“German Shepherds.”
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