For some reason that question made me pause. It also made Samsara pause, since her cheeks were reddening.
Technically, I did love Samsara, but it’s more of a familial love rather than a romantic one. I didn’t know how I would live without her. Samsara was the only thing that made this world worth living in after Mom passed away.
Could I be in a relationship with Samsara? I know that sounds weird after saying she’s like family to me. I definitely couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone else—I wouldn’t be able to care about them at all. It would have to be fake, just like when I was living in Utlond.
Plus, Samsara was pretty beautiful. I wouldn’t mind being lovers.
“I’m beautiful?” she thought mentally, as if I had said something preposterous.
“You seem surprised,” I noted. “Did you think I thought you were ugly?”
“I obviously know what you think,” she countered. “Our minds are connected. So to answer your question, no. I just… didn’t think you would just say I was beautiful.”
“Well you are, so you should be proud of it,” I said as Nara and Aisling stood awkwardly to our side. Both Samsara and I were staring into each other's eyes.
Samsara stared back at me. “Wait, did you also say you would be fine being lovers with me?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“What do you mean by ‘oh’?” I asked. Samsara’s cheeks started turning as red as an apple, and she looked away from me. I could still see her red cheeks. She panicked and turned so the back of her head was behind me. One of her hair snakes was staring directly at me. It hissed, but stayed flat against Samsara’s back.
“How could you say that?” she cried out in my mind. “That’s so embarrassing!”
I tilted my head. “Embarassing? I don’t know about that. First of all, we’ve been best friends for nearly 15 years. Many childhood friends go from best friends to lovers. Second, as Kaijus we sleep together, which is what lovers do. Do you have an issue with us sleeping together?”
“No…” she thought.
“Then, what’s so embarrassing about being lovers?” I questioned. “Like let’s imagine it. The only main difference is that we would say we love each other. And maybe also kiss. Most—”
“Kiss?!” Samsara mentally interjected.
“Most things will stay the same,” I continued, not losing a beat. “We’ll still be best friends. We’ll still protect and care for each other. We’ll still hug and sleep together.”
“Yeah, but kissing is a lot different,” Samsara said.
I giggled. “So you are afraid of kissing? Even after all that we have gone through—All the mechs, Kaijus, and Aberrations we fought. And it turns out kissing is the one thing that is stopping you. You can fight literally anything yet can’t handle the thought of kissing.”
“Don’t laugh at me!” Samsara cried out. “I was scared of fighting just like I’m embarrassed of kissing. It’s just that I was forced to fight.”
“Do you like fighting?” I asked.
“Only when the enemy is weaker than us,” Samsara said. “That way, I don’t have to be worried about you or me dying.”
“Same,” I agreed, walking up to Samsara and wrapping her in a hug. “I don't want either of us to die.”
“How did we go from talking about love to talking about death?” Samsara asked. I put my arms on her shoulders and turned her around so she was facing me.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Dunno. It just happened naturally.”
I stared into Samsara’s pink eyes, and she stared back. We were mere meters away from each other (we were Kaijus so meters are pretty small). Our cheeks were red. Our hearts beat in sync. The beating was getting faster.
For several moments we stared at each other. It was hard to keep it up. Was I getting embarrassed? No. I was scared.
After all we’ve been through, I think I truly did love Samsara. But what if she rejected me? I couldn’t fathom the thought. We had gotten into a few arguments before, but we had got over them. What if we didn’t get over this?
Samsara’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Short phrases echoed through her head as she reacted to my thoughts, none of them coherent. Would she truly be willing to love me?
Without thinking, I closed the gap between our lips.
Samsara’s eyes widened. But she didn’t try to get away from me.
I drew my head back.
Emotions were swirling inside both of us.
“What did you do?!” she panicked. She was clearly shocked. But I knew how her body felt. It wanted that kiss to last longer. My body had that aching feeling too.
“I gave you a kiss,” I said bluntly. “Did you like it?”
“Did I like it?” she asked, caught off guard by my question.
I grabbed her cheeks. “I know you liked it. I can feel what you feel.”
I could feel her cheeks getting hotter.
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“I guess… it wasn’t bad,” she said. Relief instantly flooded my mind. She didn’t hate me for it. “I would have liked it if you asked, though.”
“Sure,” I said. “Can I kiss you again?”
“Again?” Samsara stared at me while I continued holding her cheeks. Wayward thoughts crossed her mind.
“Are we really doing this?”
“This feels weird.”
“But it feels so good!”
“Yeah… I guess you can kiss me again,” she mentally stuttered.
I smiled, and leaned in for another kiss. Our lips connected. The kiss deepened as I held onto Samsara’s cheeks. Samsara’s hands moved around, grasping my back. She pulled me towards her.
More of Samsara’s thoughts reached my mind.
“This feels so good.”
“Why can’t we get closer to each other?”
“I want to stay like this forever.”
I wanted to stay like this forever, too.
Samsara’s claws started digging into my skin as she tried to pull me, and I winced from the pain, breaking off our kiss.
“I’m so sorry!” she mentally gasped, tears forming from her eyes.
I smiled at her. “Hey, that was totally worth it.”
“No it wasn’t, I hurt you,” she cried.
“No seriously,” I said. “It’s fine. I’ve already regenerated. See?”
Samsara sniffled. I wrapped her into a hug, feeling her scales through my inky skin. Samsara didn’t return my embrace.
We stayed like that for a few seconds.
“Are you alright now?” I asked, still wrapping myself around her.
“Yes,” she mentally said. “I’ll be more careful in the future.”
Meanwhile, Aisling and Nara were still staring at us. I looked down at Aisling’s shoulder, or rather, the tiny lizard girl standing there. I now knew the answer to her question.
“Yes,” I said, keeping my voice steady and matter-of-fact. “We are lovers.” As of about a minute ago.
Samsara’s mind practically short-circuited. “Ramona! You’re just going to say it like that? In front of everyone?”
“Why not?” I replied, unbothered. “First of all, it’s the truth, isn’t it? Second of all, it’s not everyone. Just Aisling and Nara. Unless you are considering them to be everyone? Which, I don’t think is true by the way. Two people is not everyone.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Samsara said. “Still, things are moving a little fast.”
“Well, do you want me to lie?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then we are telling the truth,” I said. I gave her a thumbs up. Maybe I should give her another kiss.
Samsara hesitated for a heartbeat, her embarrassment radiating through our shared minds like a heatwave, but then she sighed mentally. “Okay. You have a point. And... I guess I don’t mind people knowing.”
“She’s right,” Samsara said out loud, smiling down at Nara. She leaned her head against my shoulder. “We are.”
Nara’s face lit up. “I knew it!” she cheered, jumping up and down on Aisling’s shoulder. “I knew it! You two are always so close, and the way you look at each other... oh, this is amazing!”
I frankly had no idea why she was so happy, but I plastered a fake smile on my face anyways. I didn’t really care for their relationship, so why was she so invested in ours?
“That’s amazing!” Aisling said, her tone warm and supportive. “I am so happy for you both.”
Since we had restored Aisling’s mind with Lucia’s device, I didn’t have to force her to clap or smile. It was refreshing to not have to act as a puppeteer every second of the day.
“See?” I told Samsara. “They love it that we’re lovers. There’s no need to be embarrassed. But even if they didn’t love it, that wouldn’t mean anything. We don’t need anyone’s permission for anything.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Samsara mentally muttered, though I felt a flicker of happiness radiating from her chest.
“How was your first night as a Kaiju by the way?” Samsara asked, looking at Aisling. I stared at her floating clone.
“It was nice,” Aisling chirped. “I got to sleep with my girlfriend.”
“Same.”
Samsara cleared her throat, shifting the subject. “Actually, speaking of being a Kaiju… we learned some new magic recently. Since you two are our… well, our friends and worshipers, we should teach you.”
“More magic?” Aisling asked, leaning forward. Her clone dangled from her forehead, mimicking the movement. “Is it another attack spell?”
“Not exactly,” I said. “It’s more like… utility. It makes your spells faster, slower, or stronger.”
“We need to use [Enlighten] again,” Samsara explained. She reached down. “Ready?”
Nara stepped forward first. “Always.”
Samsara slithered over to Aisling. She slowly lowered her clawed hand towards Nara’s forehead. She focused on the complex and eldritch symbols Devotio had shoved into our brains. First, [Sacrificial Limb Bomb], [Sacrificial Limb Detach], and [Bomb Infuse]. The bomb spells. [Delay | X], [Expedite | X], [Add Delay | X], [Temporal Extend | X], and [Augment Effect | X]. The effect spells.
“Whoa,” Nara breathed, stumbling back. She rubbed her temples. “That’s… complicated. Bombs? Percentages? Time?”
“You can replace the cross with any number,” I said. Actually, we might need to assist them with the math. Given Eivor’s and Halinka’s attempts to keep the village in the Ancient Ages, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of the monster girls here didn’t have a formal education.
“There are two more,” Samsara said. Nara nodded and stepped forward. Samsara [Enlightened] her with [Thaumic Stipulation | <> ] and [Thaumic Link | <>]. Meanwhile, I [Enlightened] Aisling with a hair tentacle.
“Basically, you use letters, also known as a
Aisling blinked, processing the information. “So… I could set a [Blood Spike] to launch only when I do a specific spell? Or a ritual?”
“Exactly,” Samsara said. “But be careful. If you link too many things and don’t have the mana to pay for it when they trigger, it’ll probably kill you.”
“Noted,” Aisling said, her expression serious. “I’ll stick to the basics for now.”
Samsara looked at Aisling’s shell, then out toward the Wild Lands. The sun was high, casting harsh shadows across the valley entrance.
“Hey, Aisling,” Samsara said. “Do you want to go on a hunt? We need to test out your new Kaiju body properly. You haven’t really stretched your legs since… well, since you got your mind back.”
Aisling’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to. I have memories before you two saved me, but it’s like really foggy. It feels more like a dream than anything real.”
“Should I come?” Nara asked. “I’m not sure if I’d be helpful in any fight.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “No offence, but if we get into a fight with any Kaiju, it might be hard to defend you.”
“Oh… yeah, that makes sense,” she stuttered.
Frankly, the fact that she was one of my worshipers meant that I would get a penalty if she died. Plus, Samsara would want to make sure I protected her, which could make any fight really messy and annoying. Best for her to stay here and stay out of our way.
Aisling and Nara waved goodbye to each other as we left. They kept waving until us three passed the invisible barrier of Lateo.
I felt a pang of sadness swell up in Aisling. It was a shame she couldn’t bring Nara with her. On the bright side, just like with Seraphina, her emotions didn’t really affect me. Only Samsara’s did.
We didn’t have to travel far. Our Demiurge enhanced hearing allowed us to hear them before we saw them. Several crunches of grass reached our ears.
“There’s prey nearby,” I told Aisling. “Let’s sneak up on them.”
She nodded and turned invisible. I activated [Color Camouflage II].
We crested a ridge and looked down into a wide basin. A horde of lion girls milled about below. There must have been fifty of them They had golden fur covering their bodies, and tufted tails flying freely without a care in the world.
In the center of the lion pride stood a single Kaiju. Her tufted tail flicked nervously, and her cat ears swiveled towards us instantly. She growled and began to charge at us.