“Yeah, I know exactly what I’m gonna ask the Oracle: I wanna find out whether Becca’s in this world or not!” I said. “How about you, Tatzel? What’re you gonna ask?”

  Hot steam swirled around the room as Tatzel twisted her noodly Dragon body around in order to face me. She was sprawled out on a bench a few rows down from mine, closer to the pile of smoldering coals at the center of the sauna, where the room was hottest.

  “That’s really none of your business,” she replied.

  “Aww, come on, Tatz! Roland and I both said ours!” cried Aeshma. “Just tell us already!”

  It was about a week since we’d left the Dringel family manor and made our way to the town of Hagit. As thanks for catching his wife’s killer, Dracorn had gifted us a number of event tickets, exclusive club memberships, and sightseeing passes. Among them was the seven-day spa pass we were currently making use of.

  Hagit was a pleasant little town, nestled in a large forest of those strange coniferous banyan trees which dominated this part of Zone Two. It wasn’t nearly as large or bustling as the Zone One town I’d arrived in, but there was still plenty to keep us occupied during our week of relaxation. There was a thriving downtown shopping area, including a town square; an industrial quarter, home to the Dracornian Industries headquarters, most notably; and a cultural district, complete with a professional opera house and a few art galleries.

  To my surprise, Hagit even had its own tram network, whose tramwizard – according to Aeshma – subscribed to the far more reasonable school of Gravity magic.

  We got all the sightseeing out of our systems on our very first day here. We strolled through the downtown, climbed a historic bell tower to visit its observation deck, and even wandered past the opera house to check if there was anything interesting playing. The current production, it turned out, was some old-fashioned historical number. I would’ve liked to see it, but neither Aeshma nor Tatzel were interested. Aeshma said that opera was just something old people watched when they wanted to fall asleep, while Tatzel refused on the grounds that this particular piece was, somehow, “both low-brow and pretentious”.

  So after a brief debate we headed to the spa instead, and for the past six days, we’d barely left it except to eat and sleep.

  It was the perfect place to unwind. The massage room was nice, and the mud baths were kind of exciting, but we all agreed that the sauna was our favorite. Tatzel in particular seemed to love the heat.

  “Yeah, come on, Tatzel! What’s your question going to be?” I asked.

  Tatzel shifted again, the wooden slats of the sauna bench groaning gently under her weight. “That’s an extremely personal question, and frankly it’s none of your business. I’d hardly call us friends.”

  “Don’t tell Roland, then, but won’t you even whisper it to me?” Aeshma pleaded, batting her dark eyelashes. “Back at Camp we used to tell each other everything. Don’t you remember, all those nights, you hanging off the top bunk to gossip with me? And now you won’t even give me the teensiest little hint about what you’re gonna ask at the top of Oracle Mountain?”

  Tatzel gave her wings an irritated little flap. “I also remember that nothing you’re told in confidence stays that way for long.”

  Aeshma looked slightly abashed. “Well, that’s true.”

  “I’d ask where my unc’ buried all that treasure!” said Steamhouse Jim. He was one of only a few people we’d seen at the spa over the past week – but while the other patrons ran into a different room when they spotted Aeshma and Tatzel, Jim didn’t mind sharing a sauna with Monsters. He was harmless enough; just a doughy, somewhat hairy old guy with nothing better to do than to talk with us strangers.

  “Which uncle was it who hid the treasure, again? Dorsan?” I asked.

  “No, George is the one I’m talking about now. Did I ever tell you folks about the time unc’ almost crashed his wagon straight into the Hagit main gate? It was, oh, fifteen years ago, maybe a little more, in the springtime…”

  Jim had already told us this story, but we all knew from experience that that wouldn’t stop him from telling it again. Luckily, Aeshma changed the subject before he could get too far. “So Roland, what’re you gonna do if you find your sister, anyway?” she asked. “You’re not planning on bailing on us, are you?”

  Ever since Dracorn had gifted us these Oracular Tickets, Aeshma had been acting a bit weird around me. I guess she might’ve figured out what my question to the Oracle would be, even before she demanded we all share. I guess she was concerned about losing her Level farm.

  “I guess I haven’t really thought about it. I don’t even know if Becca’s here, you know?” I said, trying to put her at ease.

  “Sure, but like… what will you do if she is?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. What would I do if I found Becca?

  Aeshma jumped in to fill the silence. “Do you think she’d join us? You said she’s probably a Wizard or something, right? That she’s smart? We could totally use someone smart in the party,” she said, sounding almost nervous.

  Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether Becca would go along with all this. She was always so protective of me, the consummate older sibling. I tried to imagine how she’d react if I explained what I was doing – staying totally unleveled while accompanying a rogue Monster on a Quest to kill the Queen of all Monsters. Becca would start by telling me how much of an idiot I was being. Then… well, the next part I wasn’t sure of. Would she try to stop me? Or would she begrudgingly help?

  “Oh, what difference does it make, anyway?,” said Tatzel. Aeshma’s comment about finding a smart teammate had clearly rankled her. “Roland, it’s common knowledge that most people from your world aren't Reborn after they die. Just as a matter of probability, it’s exceedingly unlikely your sister is here.” She shuffled around on the bench, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Asking that would be an awful waste of an Oracle ticket, if you ask me. What you should ask the Oracle is, What part of me will Aeshma eat first, when she decides it’s no longer convenient to keep me around?”

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Aeshma blushed, her cheeks turning a dark indigo. “Shut up, Tatzel! I already told you, I don’t eat Human anymore! And even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t eat Roland!”

  “Didn’t you just eat ground-up Human like a week ago?” I asked.

  “That was – that was incidental Human, it’s not like I ordered up a plate of – ugh! Whose side are you on, anyway?” she said, and lightly elbowed me in the ribs.

  I batted her hands away playfully. “Quit it!”

  “Hey!” yelled Steamhouse Jim, “No flirtatious horseplay! Didn’t you folks read the sign?” If there was one thing Jim took seriously, it was sauna etiquette.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  “Yeah, sorry Jim,” said Aeshma. “I hope all this talk about Monsters eating people isn’t, like, getting you upset or anything. We’re just joking around. Kinda. I did eat some Human last week, but it was an accident.”

  Jim leaned back on his bench and smiled enigmatically. “We’ve all been there, sister,” he said. It would’ve been more offputting if I wasn’t still feeling swoony from my brief contact with Aeshma’s Succubus magic.

  –

  “Ready? Check this out!” Aeshma said. We were all in the cool-down room, gulping down water and letting the cold marble floors and benches siphon away some of our heat. Aeshma stood in the middle of the room, showing off her newest perk. Or trying to, anyway. So far she’d just stood around flexing different parts of her body. She frowned, concentrating. “I think I just gotta…”

  She flexed her forearms, and the lilac hue of her skin shifted to a deep purple. It looked almost like a deep bruise was spreading from the tips of her fingers all the way down to her elbows. A playful grin stretched across Aeshma’s face when she saw that she’d gotten it to work – whatever it happened to be. “See this? It’s called The Deranging Caress,” she said gleefully. “Oh man, I’ve been waiting for this one for a long time.”

  Tatzel didn’t seem nearly as excited. “Why in the world would you take that, Aeshma? You’ll never get it to trigger. What a waste of a perk.”

  Aeshma laughed and shook her head. “Pfft, I didn’t get it to actually Derange anyone with it. That’s not the point.”

  I figured Deranging Caress was some kind of Succubus perk… and that Aeshma, with her off-meta, Strength-focused build, probably didn’t have the right stats to use it. So what was she plotting?

  “What does it do, anyway?” I asked.

  She spun to face me. “Well, the actual point of the Perk is that it lets you drive people temporarily insane if you touch them – like, it gets them to attack their own teammates. But that scales off of Willpower. So I’ll never get it to trigger, except on really weak…”

  She looked at me and cleared her throat. “Actually, Roland, be careful not to touch me when I have this Perk active. Anyway, the important part is that activating it grants me temporary armor and resistance penetration!” She grinned deviously. “The, like, ostensible reason is to help a typical, non-martial Succubus land a hit on an armored target. But it’s perfect for my purposes too! The only downside is that the resistance and armor-pen boosts only apply when I’m targeting living creatures, so it won’t help me, like, punch through steel walls or anything.”

  Steamhouse Jim polished off another glass of cucumber water and let out a loud belch. “Maybe that’s why everything’s been so darn crazy recently,” he said.

  We all gave him a perplexed stare, waiting for him to explain what the hell he was talking about. When it became clear he wasn’t going to elaborate on his own, Tatzel gently prodded, “What do you mean, Jim?”

  “Oh you know,” said Jim nonchalantly, “All those shenanigans with the politicians I was talkin’ about. Maybe there’s a Succubus around, derangin’ everyone. I always said it had to be magic driving ‘em all crazy. That or somethin’ they’ve been putting in the water. I was tellin’ Franklin last week that–”

  “Are these the same politicians you said are having their debate this afternoon?” Tatzel asked. Local politics had been a recurring theme in Jim’s ramblings, though not one we’d paid very much attention to.

  “Just the same, yep, just the same. The mayoral candidates.” Jim leaned forward conspiratorially. “Somethin’ reeeeeal funny is goin’ on with the two frontrunners. They used to have all the same talkin’ points, basically agreed on all the issues. They were basically the same candidate, just in different packages. There was even chatter about town that they might run a joint campaign, divvy up the mayorship between themselves!” He shook his head and laughed. “Boy, no one’s sayin’ that anymore.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “Well, because o’ how they’ve been going at each other’s throats! I ain’t seen anything like it. Both of ‘em cussin’, slinging insults, even yellin’ at the moderator, hoo boy! It’s been a real spectacle. Half the town’s been comin’ to the debates now, just to watch the show! I heard some o’ the local sharks are even takin’ bets on whether they’ll come to blows this time!”

  Tatzel’s golden eyes drifted toward Aeshma and me. “Why don’t we take a short sauna break and check up on the local politics?” she asked. “It might help us understand… ah, how Monster-Human relations are looking on this side of the Queen’s Threshold.”

  That made some sense to me. Back in Zone One, most Humans we met seemed uncomfortable with Aeshma, but had tolerated her presence, at least in passing. And while Hagit seemed Monster-friendly so far, it behooved us to find out whether we could expect the same warm welcome in other parts of Zone Two.

  “Oh yeah, is that why you wanna watch the debate, Tatz? Information gathering? ‘Cause I think maybe you just want to see some juicy drama,” said Aeshma.

  Tatzel smiled lazily. “Why can’t it be both? Jim, do you know where the debate is being held?”

  “Well, the debates used to be held up in city hall, which is – let’s see, starting from the east gate, you’d go a few blocks north, just past the ol’ tree next to the inn, then–”

  “And where is this debate being held?” asked Tatzel.

  “Oh, they had to move ‘em to the town square. City hall wasn’t big enough for all the spectators,” Jim said. He didn’t seem to mind being interrupted.

  “Do they take questions at the debate?” I asked. “Maybe we could ask, like, if there are any town quests they need taken care of? Find some opportunities to hoover up a bunch of XP?”

  “Maybe we can ask if we can join the race for mayor!” Aeshma exclaimed. “We could all run separate campaigns, or… oh, I got it! The three of us could become the mayor of Hagit together!”

  Tatzel sighed as she collapsed back down into her Human form. “How about we just watch the debate without worrying about Quests, or XP, or embroiling ourselves in local politics, hm? Do you think we could just enjoy a nice local spectacle for the afternoon, before we have to climb a whole damn mountain to find the Oracle?”

  Tatzel was clearly not very happy about this being our last day relaxing in the spa. Neither Aeshma or I wanted to antagonize her any further, so we agreed that just watching the debate like normal sounded fine too.

  The three of us finished toweling off, got dressed, and headed for downtown Hagit. Steamhouse Jim stayed behind; he was hankering for another round in the sauna. We all were going to miss him.

  The Deranging Caress - Until your next melee strike, you gain both armor and resistance penetration. The amount of armor/resistance penetration scales with your highest Stat governing melee attack damage.

  If your next melee strike hits and successfully deals damage, the target feels a sudden compulsion to attack the nearest creature, excluding the Succubus who dealt the Deranging Caress. This effect can only be applied to living creatures. Unless resisted, this effect lasts for an hour or until the target falls unconscious.