S2, Episode 12: “Beach Balls and Burnt Sunscreen”
INT. PRINCESS’S CLOSET – DAY
Princess dusts off an old wand shaped like a melted crayon crossed with a heart-shaped drill. Her mother’s. Childhood memories flood back—those brief, golden ones, before… everything broke.
PRINCESS (whispering)
“You still work?”
She flicks the wand.
WHOOSH.
Outside, the town explodes into a tropical climate. Happy Town is gone. Replaced by…
EXT. ENORMOUS BEACH RESORT – DAY
A glistening beach stretches beyond physics. Suns blaze like disco balls. Citizens scream in joy, totally unaware of being forcefully teleported into Moist Paradise?.
Carrie stares at the sun and whispers “we’re in hell.” She’s smiling.
CARRIE
“This is still a simulation, right?”
She giggles as she builds a sandcastle like a toddler on acid. A tiny flag reads “Carrie’s Kingdom”—made of crab legs.
MAIN CAST ARRIVAL MONTAGE
Stix: Already shirtless, scowling. “The sun is a fascist.”
Zora: Wearing a glittery bikini that somehow glows in moonlight. “You look like you’re about to sue the beach.”
Wade: Shirtless, manipulating water into awkward shapes. “Look, a wave! Now look, a bigger wave!”
Princess: Now wearing a red lifeguard onesie and heart-shaped sunglasses. Wand glowing with silent power. “This wand can do anything huh..?”
Rudy: In a black bikini, holding a clipboard and four blueprints. “Relaxation is inefficient. I’ll optimize it.”
RUDY AND QUIBBLE SCENE
Next to Rudy, Carrie creates a sandcastle but fails. Stix applies sunscreen on himself and hands the bottle to Quibble.
Quibble stares at Rudy’s exposed back—then realizes he’s holding a bottle of sunscreen. He starts applying it with trembling hands. Rudy doesn’t flinch.
QUIBBLE (blushing hard)
“I-it’s SPF 2,000. I read your file… You burn at molecular speed. Hehe..”
RUDY (smirking)
“And you’re very gentle. For someone who caused five fires last week in our houses.”
They both laugh. Quibble turns bright red. Carrie’s sandcastle is now armed with a tiny turret.
CARRIE
“That’s not funny—Stix blew up my house even AFTER all explosives were taken away!!”
STIX:
“Cuz’ I don’t use explosiv—“
SOMEWHERE IN SPACE – OBSERVATION CHAMBER
Queen Empress Vyntra watches from her floating obsidian castle, sipping a glowing blue liquid. She smiles cruelly. Around her neck: The Gem.
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VYNTRA (to herself)
“Love. Chaos. Volleyball. Keep dancing, little fleas. GAH, IM HUNGRYYYY. Get back to work, bots!”
VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT BEGINS
A large sign rises from the sand:
“IF YOU LOSE, THE BIG TANK BOIS GET HAPPY TOWN.”
Stix, Zora, Wade, and Quibble approach the court. Their opponents? The Big Tank Bois — shirtless, 8-foot buffoons with necks wider than their heads, glowing with steroids and nationalism.
STIX
“Who the hell are these obstructed monstrosities..?”
WADE
“Are they on… drug—“
ZORA
“Hmph, handsome, but too tall for me..”
QUIBBLE
“They seem chill guys!”
First round? Loss. Second? Humiliating loss. Third? A volleyball hits Wade so hard he’s temporarily embedded into a tiki bar.
WADE
“Ow ugh oh woah ughhh…”
STIX
“HOW THE HELL ARE WE LOSING TO LEGO cas364?!!?!”
FIVE MINUTE BREAK
Quibble sits down, sweaty, drained. Rudy approaches—quietly. Stix is knocked out lying beside him.
QUIBBLE (looking down)
“I can’t lead. I’m the joke, remember? Just the guy with… party tricks.”
RUDY(sincerely)
“You’re more than a joke. You’re the reason they’re still standing.”
QUIBBLE
“Huh..?”
She kisses his forehead. The sky shimmers. His pupils dilate like he just drank a shot of belief.
QUIBBLE (standing tall)
“Okay, so they step forward on every down-arc. Zora, teleport left when the blonde twitches. Wade, wait half a second after Zora vanishes. Stix, just be Stix.”
STIX (grimacing)
“What the hell does that mean?”
WADE
“Ugh… I tried to make a joke about drowning, but it never surfaced…”
THE COMEBACK BEGINS
? Point 1: Wade rides a mini-tsunami and pops the ball upward—score.
? Point 2: Zora blinks behind the tallest Tank Boi, giggles, taps the ball over—score.
? Point 3: Stix flips mid-air, hitting the ball with his spine—score.
BIG TANK BOIS (screaming) “GRAAAAGHHHHHHH!”
They spike with enough force to crater the Earth. Quibble jumps. Time slows (literally). His fist hits the ball (Quibble). It ignites—burning blue fire.
RUDY (watching)
“…He caught thermonuclear momentum. Apparently, holy shits.. he’s releasing ~891,000 Kelvin in only a second—“
VOLLEYBALL
WHOOOOOOOOMPF
It explodes against the Tank Bois. They collapse like collapsing economies. The sand from the beach comes back onto the ground after that large disaster.
VICTORY
Princess, now holding a golden clipboard, declares the winners. “Team Not-Muscle Wins!”
STIX
“Hey now hold on, who the fuck picked that name—?!”
Zora kisses Quibble’s cheek. Then again. And again.
ZORA
“I love confidence. And cosmic forehead smooches.”
Wade awkwardly holds Quibble’s hands. “Your palms are hot.”
Stix hugs him briefly—then realizes he’s doing it and shoves him. “Whatever. Dumb.”
Rudy watches from behind her clipboard, next to Carrie, who has now given her castle sentience.
CARRIE
“He blinked. My castle blinked.”
Princess waves the wand. A large gold trophy bursts from the sand like a geyser, labeled:
“Slightly Better Than The Big Tank Bois”
Everyone cheers.
LATER THAT NIGHT – QUIBBLE’S HOUSE
The beach is gone. Happy Town restored. Skully snores on the couch.
Quibble walks to his room. Quiet. Opens the door.
He stares at the mirror. His hand lifts. Slowly removes his jester hat.
CUT TO BLACK.
Narrator: “Oh boi, that was a fun episode!”
END OF CHAPTER 12
