Chapter 33: Ieyasu, Son of Kinami, Mother of Foxes

  (Perspective of the Blind)

  After the last tear fell into the stranger's bowl, my mind became empty.

  Not fire, not water, not earth.

  But a cold, desolate void demanding to be filled.

  I moved. I was hungry, thirsty, and sleepy, but I wanted only one thing: to swing my sword in that forsaken courtyard, my sacred sanctuary that no one dares enter for fear of the "Fox".

  The path was long, as long as their conversation that I had overheard. Every sound that left them turned into a void in my ears, swallowing me.

  But this time... fate decided to console me for its curse.

  When I arrived, I smelled that scent. The scent of wild, free, and untethered grass.

  And I heard the "Voice of Tenderness" that my life had been missing. Light, yet firm footsteps.

  "Aha... I finally found you. I decided to extend..."

  Before that voice could finish its word, I lunged.

  I ran and embraced her.

  And, for the first time in my life, I began to cry.

  The void I was feeling exploded, like the sound of life erupting in a dead body.

  That embrace... did not push me away. It didn't tell me "harsh" or "back off."

  It just... let me hear the sound of its nervous heartbeat from my sudden hug.

  Those beats... were fast, alive, and warm.

  Those are the heartbeats of tenderness.

  Every second my embrace tightened around her, that voice tightened its embrace around me.

  She didn't ask why I was crying. She just pulled me closer, and didn't let me go for a single second, until I fell asleep... like an infant who had finally found his mother.

  I woke up, as usual, to the blackness of the bed. But this time, those tender heartbeats were sleeping beside me, holding me.

  I felt her soft, furry, and warm touch. I felt life beating within me because of the pulse of her life.

  "Why are you awake so early?" she whispered in a sleepy voice.

  I said: "It's... this is usually the time for training."

  Suddenly, she stood up. I heard the rustle of her clothes, and I felt the warmth of the sun creeping through the window as she looked at it.

  She said with feigned seriousness: "You are right. It is training time. You must never be late or early. Training time is sacred. Do you understand?"

  I replied: "Yes."

  Then I added softly: "But Mama... this time, you are the one who will make me late."

  "What... Mama?!"

  I heard her heartbeat accelerate suddenly. Thump... thump... thump.

  This is the sound of love. I had never heard it directed at me before.

  She said in a flustered, happy voice: "Well... you are right. But don't rejoice just because you saw me make a mistake for once. Do you understand, my son?"

  This time, my own heart beat faster.

  I said: "Yes... Mama."

  And I felt the "sound" of her lips smiling.

  The time of the blind passed once again.

  And my birthday arrived. The day of sacred sorrow. The day of the death of the lady of this hut, my real mother whom I never saw.

  It is the day I hate the most, the day when the "time of the blind" meets the "time of the sighted" in a hypocritical collective mourning.

  But this day will never make me abandon my morning training time.

  I was training in the courtyard as usual, slicing the air with my sword.

  Until I heard a new voice.

  The sound of poverty. The sound of light, hesitant footsteps, and the smell of old clothes that hadn't been washed well. It was one of the "orphans" my father had gathered.

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  "Oi... I don't believe this. You're really blind? And you're trying to become a Samurai? What foolishness!"

  I replied coldly: "And what is it to you, pauper?"

  The boy gasped: "Wait... do I smell bad? I swear I bathed in a lot of water and they dressed me in new clothes! How did you know I was poor? Maybe you aren't really blind?"

  "Let's find out."

  I heard the sound of a wooden stick being lifted from the ground. He attacked me.

  With complete ease, I heard the movement of the air. I dodged him.

  And I started beating him.

  "Damn it! You son of a whore, stop!" the boy screamed as he writhed.

  I froze. Anger ignited in my veins like fire.

  I screamed in his face: "Don't call Mama a whore! You bastard, you're the one who killed the one you call Mama!"

  I screamed again, striking him with greater force: "She is not the whore you're talking about!"

  "So you're calling her a whore?!" the boy yelled, trying to protect himself. "It hurts... it hurts... damn it, how are you so strong?"

  After I had my fill of beating him, I stopped.

  How does my father want to make such people Samurai? He insults the sword.

  Then... once again.

  Someone else invaded my sacred sanctuary.

  The voice I least wanted to hear today.

  The "Voice of Kindness". My father.

  "What is happening here?"

  I heard his hurried, angry footsteps. Suddenly... a slap!

  I felt the heat of his hand on my cheek. The heat of weakness.

  "Do you train with Kinami just to beat the guests of this house?! If you want to beat them, get out of my house now!"

  Then he started talking. A lot of words, broken, dripping with disappointment.

  All I could think of was that it was an ugly voice... like my ugliness.

  "It seems my ugliness came from here," I thought.

  I looked (with my ears) in the direction of the voice and said with icy calmness:

  "A duel."

  That voice said in shock: "What? You want to duel a child who has never learned to use a sword in his life? You've grown into a young man, but..."

  I interrupted him: "Who said anything about the child?"

  I raised my wooden sword and pointed it at him.

  "I am talking about you... you bastard."

  !!!

  Total silence prevailed.

  "You talk so much about the principles of the Samurai... and you're going to run from a duel?"

  "Oi, Ieyasu... what you're saying is no joke."

  I replied sharply:

  "A duel to return this slap you struck me with. Or will you be a coward, just like your kindness?"

  He was silent for a long time. I heard his agitated breathing. Then he said in a low voice:

  "You want a duel? Then a duel."

  I heard the sound of his real sword being drawn from its scabbard.

  I said: "No. Not here. In front of everyone."

  "A public duel... between a blind man and one who calls himself a Samurai."

  "Fine... then tomorrow morning."

  "I want it today," I screamed. "I need it to be today. And now. Immediately."

  Everyone gathered in the main courtyard of our dilapidated hut.

  I heard every sound, distinguishing them all. The whispers of the servants, the muffled laughs of the Samurai, and my father's tension.

  "Even if Matsudaira is not a warrior... he can still see."

  "Do you think Matsudaira will kill him?"

  "Impossible... but it is the greatest insult for a person to live after a duel like this."

  "Perhaps this will show him reality."

  Then... I heard the voice of a maid, I remember it well. The voice of a maid who insulted me when I was young.

  "Why is he humiliating himself today, on the anniversary of his lady's death? He truly is an Oni who stole her soul and wants to insult her memory."

  In my mind, I said: (You who underestimate my sweat... you who underestimate the days I put in my effort... and you who call me an Oni... I swear to you that I will show you what the "Blind Slave" will do). One of the Samurai shouted: "Begin!"

  Then...

  In a single moment. With the speed of thunder.

  I moved.

  I slashed.

  It wasn't the sound of a Dragon. It was the sound of the Blind. The sound of someone who cuts while hearing his opponent's heartbeat.

  Tzzzzzt. It was not a metallic sound.

  It was the sound of tearing—the luxurious silk fabric my father wore. A soft, fragile, and pathetic sound.

  Then another sound followed... much more magnificent. Fwsh. The sound of flesh tearing open.

  Then the smell exploded.

  It wasn't the smell of cheap incense, nor the smell of fake kindness.

  It was the smell of iron, salt, and viscous warmth. The smell of truth.

  I heard his blood boiling out of his chest, and the sound of a heavy, soft body falling to the ground.

  I didn't kill him. I just made him regret that slap. I made my sword remind him who the real master is.

  I smelled the fear emanating from the crowd, the smell of cold sweat that had replaced the mockery.

  I sheathed my sword and shouted with a voice that shook the silent courtyard:

  "Anyone who dares to call me blind again... I swear I will hunt them to the ends of the earth! And I will cut off their head and display it for all!"

  I raised my head toward the sky that I cannot see, and declared my new identity:

  "I am Ieyasu! Son of Kinami, Mother of Foxes! Do not forget my name!"

  The servants started running toward Matsudaira to treat him, their panicked voices filling the area.

  Then one of the Samurai stepped forward; I heard the sound of his heavy armor and the smell of his anger.

  "You blind fool! What do you think you are doing?!"

  I did not answer him with words.

  I swung my sword. Fwsh. A sharp cry of pain. The sound of something hitting the ground. His arm.

  I said coldly: "Next time... it will be your head."

  These fools interrupted my training.

  Fine... I'll consider it live training.

  "I'm going back to the courtyard."

  I returned to my sacred courtyard and was about to resume my training when I heard the Voice of Tenderness once again.

  (Kinami).

  Kindness (my father) would have punished me for what I did, but Tenderness would not.

  Mama walked over to me. I felt her warm hand patting my head. Even though I had grown taller than her, she still found her way to my head easily.

  She said with a voice holding hidden pride: "It seems your training yielded results. But don't let it get to your head and ignore the basics."

  I asked in surprise: "Aren't you going to scold me?"

  She laughed, a laugh both light and savage at the same time: "I see they deserved what happened to them. But that doesn't mean you should kill everyone."

  I said: "What? Do you see me as a predator?"

  She said with seriousness and tenderness: "Of course not. You are Ieyasu... Son of Kinami, Mother of Foxes."

  I felt my face grow hot, like a dragon breathed fire upon it.

  I said with a trembling voice: "Did... did you hear?"

  She said while laughing: "I saw everything... Ieyasu, Son of Kinami."

  Then she hugged me, started ruffling my hair, and said playfully: "Is there a son who grows taller than his mother? How brazen of you! You must be punished!"

  She started tickling me.

  "Let me go! Please! It tickles!"

  I laughed. And for the first time in that cursed house... my laugh was real.