Chapter 34

  Adam felt his ears pop as he crossed the threshold into the RV, a gentle shift in pressure ruffling his hair. Absently, he ran his hand through it, brushing the stray strands from his forehead.

  A comforting blend of vanilla and cinnamon filled the space, wrapping around him like a thick blanket. The tension that had long settled deep in his nerves eased, leaving him feeling almost relaxed.

  He wasn't sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn't this. The space spread as far as the eye could see in every direction, soft overhead lighting giving it an inviting feel, bright, but not glaring. It reminded Adam of a mixture between a chic department store and a library.

  "It's... bigger on the inside?" Adam said, certain he should feel more surprised than he did.

  "Calm down, Dr. Who," Natalie quipped, shaking her head.

  Adam blinked. "You watch Doctor Who?"

  Natalie nudged Samantha with her elbow. "When she makes me."

  Samantha pulled a screwdriver out of her pocket and poked her wife with it, making a high-pitched buzzing sound. "You knew who I was when you asked me to marry you."

  Natalie nodded sagely, slipping her arm around Samantha's shoulders. "Yes. I married a nerd."

  "And I married a woman with old lady hobbies." She reached up and straightened her ever-present cap, grinning. "Like knitting."

  "You promised you'd never tell!" Natalie's voice was full of mock indignation.

  "Oops," Samantha said.

  "Does anyone else smell cloves? And... menthol?" Hector asked, staring off into space, a frown wrinkling his features.

  "No, vanilla and cinnamon," Adam said, taking an experimental sniff, trying to catch a hint of menthol or cloves.

  "Lilac..." Natalie sounded troubled, the air of playfulness vanishing.

  "Coffee." Samantha shrugged, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

  "Is it to your liking?"

  The man's voice made Adam jump, snapping him back to reality. He stood several feet down the aisle, his hand resting on a thin podium.

  "I assume that's your doing?" Adam felt like he was developing a bad habit of asking questions he already knew the answers to.

  "Of course."

  The man beckoned them to follow, a patient smile covering the lower half of his face. "Familiar scents activate your limbic system and have been shown to increase sales by up to thirteen percent."

  "That sounds like manipulation," Hector said, crossing his arms, his expression turning cold.

  "It is manipulation."

  The man shrugged for the first time, his smile fading into a neutral expression. "It is also good for business. Would you feel more comfortable if I disabled the effect?"

  "Yes," Adam and Hector said at the same time, glancing at each other.

  Adam felt a subtle shift in the room as the scents vanished, abruptly reminding him it had been a few days since his last shower. He watched Natalie take in their surroundings for the first time, mentally counting down the seconds until she had something to say.

  Three… Two… One….

  “The world ends, and we end up in some kind of cosmic fucking Ikea?”

  She threw her hands up in irritation.

  Right on time.

  Adam grinned, then looked around as an uncanny sensation settled behind his eyes. She wasn’t wrong, it looked eerily close to an Ikea, if Ikea existed in some sort of extradimensional space attached to an RV.

  Samantha picked that moment to step up to the man and extend her hand. “Since we are doing business, I think introductions are appropriate. My name is Samantha.”

  The man looked down at her hand for a brief moment, then held his own out, stopping precisely halfway between the them. Samantha took the cue and shook it firmly.

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  "It is a pleasure to meet you, Samantha."

  The way the man pronounced Samantha's name carried an uncomfortable precision. Adam felt like he was repeating it exactly as she had said it, every nuance captured and reproduced.

  "And what would you like us to call you?" She smiled slightly, almost mirroring his expression.

  "You may call me The Salesman. Or Salesman. Or Mr. Salesman. All three are correct," he said releasing her hand. Smoothing his tie, he returned to the podium. “Now, shall we…”

  "You didn't give us your name," Natalie interjected, cutting off The Salesman's next words.

  His eyes flicked to her, and he nodded.

  "That is correct."

  Adam had the sudden nagging impression The Salesman was actually a snake, trying to decide if he could swallow her whole.

  "I do not mean to be impolite, but my name is largely irrelevant. I have not used it in a very long time.

  Adam felt like the word long was such an understatement that it bordered on deception.

  "Please, follow me."

  The Salesman turned and began walking down the aisle without waiting for a response. To Adam's surprise, Hector was the first to follow, falling in step just behind him.

  "Are you human, sir?" Hector asked, clearing his throat and waiting for a response. "If it's not rude to ask."

  "Oh gods no. Nothing so mundane."

  The Salesman laughed for the first time, a sound that was both genuine and full. "Ahh, I said a dirty word."

  "Gods?" Natalie quickened her step to catch up. "Also, did you just call us mundane?"

  "Yes."

  The Salesman stopped abruptly and gestured to his left. A small display case stood empty on a raised platform, reminding Adam of a museum piece.

  Natalie nearly ran into him, stumbling but catching herself before they collided. "Why is 'gods' a dirty word?"

  The Salesman turned to her, the smile once again not reaching his eyes. "There are many powerful entities in the wider cosmos. Contrary to what they may wish for you to believe, none of them are gods." His mouth twisted slightly with the last word, as if it tasted something foul.

  "Samantha, do I have your permission for a temporary telepathic link?" he asked, turning to face her fully, one hand gesturing toward the display case.

  The snakelike impression surfaced again in Adam's mind, and suddenly he understood why. The Salesman's pivots were too smooth, too precise, like whatever lay beneath his suit was built to twist far beyond the limits of a human spine.

  Samantha's eyebrows rose in surprise, and the corners of her mouth twitched upward. "Do you require my permission?"

  Adam realized she was enjoying the interaction, subtly maneuvering The Salesman into revealing more than he intended without directly asking.

  The Salesman frowned down at her, seeming to come to the same conclusion. "You are quite shrewd, Samantha. No, I do not require your permission. However, it is considered poor form to invade the minds of your guests. Without permission, of course."

  Samantha nodded slowly. "Of course. You have my permission."

  The Salesman's eyes grew glassy and distant for a moment, as if staring at something far away and unseen.

  A few seconds later, a large leather-bound book appeared in the display case. It settled gently on its side with a soft thump, like a pillow being dropped.

  "This should be of interest to you."

  He opened the case and withdrew the book, passing it casually to Samantha.

  "What is it?" Natalie asked, peeking over Samantha's shoulder as she opened to the first page.

  "It is a textbook on magical theory, covering many of the fundamentals, and some more advanced forms of sigil-based enchantment."

  Adam stared at Samantha, watching her eyes grow wide as she leafed through the pages.

  "It was procured from an Earth very similar to your own. However, where your planet followed a technological path, this version of Earth followed an eldritch one."

  "From an Earth similar to ours? Are you talking about alternate dimensions?" Adam felt as if he'd stepped onto the set of a low-budget sci-fi film.

  "Yes," The Salesman said, nodding, but he didn't elaborate.

  "So... we're essentially part of a multiverse now?" Adam chewed on the idea, imagining various versions of himself going through the same motions at the same time.

  "I despise that word." The tone of the Salesman's response yanked him out of his reverie. He turned and stared at Adam, giving him the same snakelike look he had given Natalie moments before.

  "The universe is simply the universe. It may have layers, permutations and variations, but it is all the same universe. To call it anything else is imprecise, and I dislike imprecision."

  "This is definitely starting to sound like one of your Doctor Who episodes, Sam,” Natalie said, yawning. Adam quickly followed suit, covering his mouth.

  "I did do business with a Timelord once," the Salesman said, waving his hand as the light over the now-empty display case dimmed and went out.

  Samantha slowly lowered the book, her face twisted in wide-eyed bewilderment. "You met a Timelord?"

  "No. That would be ridiculous."

  The Salesman turned sharply and began walking down another aisle.

  "Is he... is he fucking with us?" Hector asked, trailing behind and glancing back at Adam.

  "I have no idea..." Adam shook his head and followed.

  The group walked in silence for a full minute as The Salesman took seemingly random turns. He stopped abruptly in front of another identical display case, then turned to Hector.

  "Yes," Hector said, answering before The Salesman could speak.

  Adam thought he saw the briefest hint of something pass across The Salesman's face, but it vanished so quickly he wasn't sure he had seen it at all.

  "Very well."

  The Salesman's eyes became glassy and unfocused as he stared into the distance. "Ahh. Yes."

  He turned and opened the case, withdrawing a small piece of bone with a length of leather cord wrapped around it. Adam could see a fragment of blue stone embedded in the middle of the tooth-shaped bone.

  "This item is particularly-"

  "I know what it is,” Hector snapped, cutting the Salesman off, his voice thick with anger. "Where did you get this?"

  He stepped forward, staring down at the small object. "He was buried with this. It never left his neck, not once." Hector jabbed a finger at The Salesman, his face full of accusation. "Where. Did. You. Get. This."