An hour have passed since my breakdown.
...
...
It felt like I'm still denying reality. Maybe because I am.
I've tried pinching myself, running at the wall, and, derangedly, have thought about stabbing myself.
The first two, caused a minor headache and a red bruise on my face. The last, I left it as a thought only, not considering it a real option to test if this is a dream. Mad, probably, but I don't want to die yet.
...
...
And I still do not accept being transported to another world.
There are lots and lots of things that I grieved about. First, my family. Second, my home. And third, the progress of my games.
Losing a family and a home hurts, of course. But, it's bearable, for me at least. Doesn't mean I wouldn't take the chance to go back. The last one though... I'd be willing to trade my soul for it, if I can have them now.
Look. I've designed the gam- My games to not have troubling spaghettis of codes entangling each other, envisioning them to be way more than what I'd first imagined them to be, to the point I've hired actual composer and a f*cking animator to animate all the NPCs and enemies in the games. Heck, I even got the lore for these projects of mine discussed among writers on many forums. RPG? 80% done. FPS? Needing final touch before release. Horror? Half-baked, not lost. And one I loved the most, sandbox, which I've got the demo out. All of these projects' reviews? All fucking good. Much people praised it, with some leaving constructive criticism on them all. I had them under my belt, and LO AND BEHOLD, I LOST THEM!!! RIGHT WHEN I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE IN POPULARITY!
If this is the work of some fictional beings turned reality, I'm planting a grudge towards them in me.
"Huff... 3 Years worth of sweat and money, gone down the drain. This is a joke."
My comments flew out and dissipate like air, only for what I've said to come back and weigh down my heart like an anvil. Something I loved, cared, passionate at, disappeared without my consent. Even if they come out as failed products, which is unlikely, I'd store them somewhere in my hard drives, making it mementos of past projects of mine. But, losing them all because of something entirely outside of my control flicks a buried-deep anger that I never once found in me.
And to think that I made a protagonist of my FPS ga-
...
I am not finishing that, lest I jinx myself.
Right...
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
I know I won't be able to go back home, as I don't know how to. And I know I won't be getting my games back. Then...
"What should I do now?"
I don't know what to do, nor do I feel like I want to do something. I don't even feel any sorrow, as if not being able to meet my parents anymore doesn't breaks me that much. I did had a breakdown, but it's more to a regret of losing progress of my games rather than anything else. I guess I'm weird. Welp.
I think I'd stroll around the city and maybe hit the sack afterwards. It's nighttime, I see. Maybe then, I'll find things I want to do. It feels weird not doing anything. And that laptop belongs to mine, no? I'll use it and search the map of this place. Would want to know where everything is and the road back here.
Anyways.
I sprung up and went into the bathroom. It wouldn't do if I feel grumpy and all.
Tapping the faucet and wrapping my hands to my face, I relief myself, basking in the freshness of the cold water. The feeling of water enveloping my face before flowing down to drop from the tip of my chin energizes me, somewhat. As if little energy was restored onto my being as my face come fresh. The towel on the side of me positioned like it's prepared for this kind of occasion, which I gratefully take and use it to wipe my face. Putting it back to its place, I was ready to leave the bathroom, when the reflection on the mirror caused me to halt.
'Oh look, me. And look, it's not me.'
Finding out that my face is fine is great news. Finding out that the face I have is not what I once was is shocking, to say the least. And finding out that that's the face of the guy on that ID is even more startling.
And not to mention the blabbers I spew just an hour ago about the kidnapper, the owner of this apartment... Which would be me.
Well, f*ck me. Thanks fate, very cool.
Whatever. I strode out of the bathroom, walking back to my supposed bedroom. The nasty smell of filthy utensils and the littering trashes caused my eyes to go wide momentarily, before continuing towards the bedroom. I need to clean this all soon.
Once in the bedroom, I approach the desk littered with trashes. I snag a large empty plastic bag and rapidly filling it with trashes above the desk. There's still some weird substances here and there, yikes. Lifting some books, a tissue box is underneath them. Gracefully, I move it topside and use it to fully clean the desk, wiping clear any strange liquid tainting it before throwing the used tissues into the plastic bag. Noice. Now this is a proper workplace for me. Let me see this little beauty...
Touching the surface of the laptop gave me some kind of sensation throughout my body. A thrill, one could say. Because oh my, have I ever seen techs with design like this? And the surprised face of mine when I discover that I could just lift the monitor open with one hand? With minimal energy to do so?
This is fabulous!
Excited, I am. With eager fingers, I hit the power button and waited for it to boot up, which takes no less than ten seconds. Good news then!
The interface brought another whole of happiness to my face. The taskbar, the apps, the fonts, all of it, is not in the style of my old world OS company VinDos. The style leans more towards simplicity and readability, one that I favored so much. Not to mention that everything looks so clear and much more refined than my PC's 1440P monitor. And more so, as I tested the UI animation of sliding up and down, fading in and out, it was clear that the OS this laptop uses is far superior than that of VinDos. For once, I'm actually glad I'm using something like VinDos. That OS was a nightmare, consuming quite a lot of power while also humorously always has updates enforced to it every day. It was an OS made to annoy people, instead of helping people work efficiently. Countless times, I thought of moving to Sinux, even after injecting his PC with a wizardry-tool called Drufus installing cracked VinDos to bypass the ownership authentication stuff. I was worried that I'd need to use this world's equivalent of VinDos. Turns out, it's more to Sinux!
Nice.
Opening the browser Chormium, I typed in 'local map'. Curiosity evident in my eyes.
I hope the coffee's nice around here.
