Phoebe and Emma hadn’t been awake for long when we got back. We followed Colton’s truck back to Jacob’s house. I knew my way back, but I’d be driving way under the speed limit to try and recall each turn I had taken. I hopped out of the truck after telling Breelyn to go warn those inside that people were here. A few years ago, people would come walking inside with no warning, and whether I knew them or not, I’d welcome them in and have a friendly conversation. Not so much now. Things like this, these types of changes, we weren’t exactly used to it, but it was the new normal. It’s like having an iPhone with ten cameras. It’s kind of weird, but if everyone has it, is it really that bad? Maybe justifying it was what made me feel better about living in such harsh conditions. When I was young, I loved to watch and read stories of apocalyptic movies, so maybe that’s what really kept me going. Maybe deep down, I was glad to be living this life, as terrible as it was. Maybe that’s why the guilt was eating me alive. I dreamed of a world like this, and people are dying because of it.
I snapped out of the deep hole my mind was digging me into. I didn’t like it at all. I thought long and hard sometimes, even at the worst moments. While standing in a large group of people, I could be unlocking some crazy thoughts. “Why’d you come up here anyway?” Colton was standing right behind my shoulder, looming over me. I turned around quickly. I guess I didn’t hide my gasp well enough. “Relax, I’m not gonna hurt you,” He put his hands where I could see them, facing his palms towards me. No matter how much I explained, nobody from here would get it. They didn’t understand what Hartland was like. They didn’t understand what the rest of the world was like, and honestly, I didn’t fully understand either. Hartland was hell, but Alvord and Bowie? Are the two big cities squeezing Hartland into a corner? That was true hell. And what about the even bigger cities? I almost lost my life a few times trying to go visit my dad or my brother, and that was an hour or two worth of travelling through the city. Living there is a completely different ball game.
“Why’re you so strung out all the time?” His friend Peter walked up beside him. I took my gun out of my waistband and slowly laid it on the edge of the bed of my truck. I let my hand linger on the grip tape for a little bit, then finally let go. They watched my every move.
“You guys don’t know what it’s like out there,” I took a deep exhale and leaned up against the side of the truck. Having my gun that far from me stressed me out, but I needed to learn to trust again. That’s what my counselor said, anyway. I needed to learn when I was safe to keep my blood pressure down and my heart rate lower. “We never go anywhere without our weapons. Everyone’s murdering each other,” I slowly brought my gaze up from the grass. “If I were like any of the kids our age from back home, none of you would have made it out of that house.” They didn’t have much to say after that. I felt like a soldier who was trained to lose their empathy, though I still had every social skill I had learned. The only difference I would say is my tolerance for mental pain and my fear rate. Peter was right, though. I was always on edge. It was for my own safety, but I wasn’t on edge enough. If I was truly someone who was expected to survive, I would have shot first. God forbid I have my humanity intact.
The glass door slid open, and Breelyn returned with Emma and Phoebe. I reached up and grabbed my gun, putting it back in my pocket. Tristan watched as I grabbed it again, but the rest of his friends turned to see who the new faces were. He gave me a concerned look before turning around. It was kind of funny seeing these people who had barely any contact socialize with people who also had rare chances of casual conversation. Two socially stunted groups being pushed together, what a sight.
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“This is Emma and Phoebe,” They waved when I said their names. I stepped forward a bit so I could stand in line with my friends. “That’s Peter,” I pointed to the far side and slowly made my way through the line, introducing them by their names. Emma slowly lifted her hand to point at Tristan.
“Prom night guy?” She lifted an eyebrow. I nodded. Blake ran his hand through his hair behind his head and gave a quick wave. I wasn’t sure what to do from here. Other than introductions, what else was there to say? It had been a long time since I had such a pointless conversation for the fun of it.
“We went to this abandoned house, and they almost murdered us. Jacob sent them,” I watched Breelyn’s posture as she spoke. Her shoulder was drooping a bit. It had to be hurting, but she didn’t act like it was.
“You guys evened the score, alright? We’re not the bad guys here,” Tristan laughed. “We’re still a point ahead, though, with the stunt Peter pulled,” I reached my hand up and touched the temple of my head. I could still feel the cold metal against my skin. “Are all of you from Hartland?”
“Yeah,” Emma nodded. Most of us were crossing our arms by now. The air had been cold recently, and it was even colder up here in Greenwood. Even worse, though, some dark clouds were coming in. Whatever weather we used to have during this time would come sooner, and it would hit much, much harder. Snow was common up here, but usually it was never more than four inches. Now, though, it would be multiple feet with deadly temperatures. Winter last year was hard, and it only gets harder from here. Usually, we’d be excited to get out of school, but now we were preparing for the worst to come.
I stopped listening to the conversation they were having about Hartland and Greenwood and the differences between the two and stared at the horizon. If there really was some kind of weather coming, it was cold enough to be snowy, and it was still getting colder. We could go back home, but then we’d be stuck there, too. Did we want to go back? Would they even let us through the wall? What if we left, and I wouldn’t be able to see Jacob again? Next time I’d try getting through, what if I was contaminated and they killed me on the spot? Or even worse, what if Greenwood’s haven succumbed to the world’s problems? It was too early to leave, but if we waited, we would get stuck here. We still had a few hours to decide, so I wanted to wait to figure it out. I heard my name and zoned back into the conversation.
“We’ve heard about Amelia before, especially Colt,” Peter nudged him with his elbow. Tristan glanced over, scoffing at the comment.
“Well, yeah, everyone’s heard her name. She’s been the girl that nobody knows, but everyone’s heard of. Our school is, what, 50 people?” Colton tried defending himself.
“Yeah, I remember when Jacob went down to Hartland with you all nearly every weekend. He would come back with stories about all of you guys. I remember a story he told me about this huge party you all had. The front yard and the whole inside were sardined with people,” Antony told the story as if he had been there. I found myself smiling at the memory, though. That’s the type of people we were to them, and that’s what we really were. Deep inside, that was the past we all had together. We were the names that were heard across the state. That party he was talking about, though, that’s what made us the most well-known. We’ve done crazier things before, but the memories people have of us were in small proportion. We’d maybe meet ten people on the average function, but the one I threw at my house? There were hundreds.
