Noah didn’t insist. Instead, he cut another piece of wood and gave it to her to sit on. He hoped that maybe, in time, she would calm down and the phrase “I’m fine” would become true.

  It took a while, longer than he expected. Although she was clearly enjoying each bite she ate, her restrained expressions still made that obvious, Ting didn’t seem willing to lower her guard again. With her body closed off and glances that always tried to avoid him, he felt like she was only forcing herself to be present.

  This doesn’t seem to be working...

  He sighed as he placed more pieces of meat to roast over the crystallized sticks, which did not react even when stretched above Ting’s reddish flames.

  — ...Is there anything other than meat you’d like to eat? I can try to make something for later.

  She hesitated, swallowing the meat in her mouth without even chewing it properly.

  Cough! Cough!

  — Are you okay?

  She nodded.

  She looked straight ahead, aware that Noah didn’t approach, even though he was about to.

  He’s... trying to give me some space?

  She swallowed hard, still alert.

  — Maybe... — she reconsidered, but her forward gaze seemed to wait for something — ...something sweet...

  — Sweet? — Noah thought for a moment as he checked the contents of the spatial pouch. — Well, I think I can come up with something.

  Ting quickly turned away, avoiding his eyes. She even considered it, but she couldn’t believe that the small smile was real. She didn’t want to... Because she always remembered the red eyes.

  Time passed slowly and, as he continued cooking, Noah observed every restrained smile and bodily reaction.

  She really likes to eat...

  He felt those were the few moments when Ting really opened up, but even so, never enough for any real closeness.

  As night began to fall, he went to fetch water so she could bathe.

  — What do you think of him...? Do you believe he was sincere in everything he did today? — Fusu asked from behind the bedroom door, as he didn’t have enough courage to question her while looking into her eyes.

  — I don’t know... He just... They just don’t seem like the same people — Ting answered, then sighed. Gradually, it looked like the stars were regaining their shine and color. — The way he speaks, acts, even the presence... Not even the eyes are the same, though they look similar.

  — It was strange for me too, actually... When I met him, he didn’t seem like the type who’d bother to cook for anyone, let alone offer to fetch water for a bath.

  — So he’s pretending? — she hugged her arms.

  — Maybe... Or maybe he was pretending before, all we can do is wait if we want to find out.

  Fusu’s footsteps faded away and, once alone, Ting allowed herself to collapse onto the bed, still able to smell Ling’s scent on the pillows and sheets.

  Why is everything going back to normal so quickly...? Am I already coming to terms with this and forgetting about you? I don’t want that!

  She clutched the pillow to her chest, holding it tightly.

  I don’t want to see the colors of the stars or how beautiful they are. If I did, it would be as if nothing ever happened. I don’t want that... I don’t want to forget you or even think about accepting you had to die. Aunt Ling... I don’t know what to do...

  Her tears fell in silence.

  Knock! Knock! Knock!

  Blinking her wet eyes, she looked at the window and saw a strange vapor rising up outside.

  Should I just accept him? Believe this kindness is real...? Because it’s his fault. It’s thanks to this insistence on making me feel better that my heart is slowly starting to hurt less, but, if that happens, will I forget you too? I don’t want that...

  Getting up without much enthusiasm, she leaned on the window to look outside and found a small makeshift bathtub built from the trunk of a crystallized tree.

  — I’ll leave it here, so just take as much time as you want, okay?

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  She nodded. The strange feeling was still bothering her.

  — Thank you...

  Maybe I should...? she wondered, watching Noah walk away at a slow pace. I can’t be sure...

  After much thought, she jumped, leaving her clothes on the window.

  The water wasn’t hot, just pleasant. As welcoming as a hug.

  Curling up under the moon, her mind became clearer, gradually settling itself.

  I’ll try... Anyway, I’ve already decided to keep him close, so at some point, I’d have to do this.

  The sweet, enticing scent that had filled the air for a while now seemed to come closer. The bedroom door opened.

  — I’ll leave your dessert here, eat it after you’re finished.

  — Wait... — she hesitated, then raised one hand — ...Can you give me something to dry myself?

  — ...Of course.

  Noah scanned the room and handed her the towel that was draped over the chair in front of the bed.

  He considered leaving, but Ting stopped him, asking him to wait.

  The sound of the moving water made him turn to the window, meeting her eyes in the end. Without anger or reproach, they simply looked empty.

  — ...Just wait a little longer.

  — Alright… — He turned away. Still, he didn’t want to. What he really wished was to keep watching her and, if possible, get closer and touch her.

  Having finished drying and dressing herself, Ting laid the towel on the window and jumped back inside, landing on the bed without a sound. A small ceramic bowl sat beside her, containing a piece of something with a firm look and sweet aroma.

  She played with her fingers for a few moments.

  — I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting with you... — she said, voice lower than intended.

  — Don’t worry, I understand. I may not understand how you feel, but I know losing someone isn’t easy. So—

  — N-No, it’s not that! — she interrupted, then froze on realizing what she had done. She waited for a reply, but it never came. — It’s not about Aunt Ling; I don’t want to use her as an excuse for this. Actually, I-I’m afraid... of you.

  — ...That was kind of obvious, honestly, though I don’t know why.

  — It’s not really you, I think. From the way you treat me, I believe it was only a momentary possession, but... I can’t forget that presence and those eyes... — she shrank, trembling — You don’t have to tell me what it was if you don’t want to, just... Can you control that thing?

  Noah nodded.

  — You don’t have to worry about it, it won’t hurt you. — He approached the bed, kneeling in front of Ting. — I know it’s hard, but try to think of it as something else that will protect you, that’s all. If there’s anything I can say to reassure you, it’s that it’ll only act if we’re in danger.

  With more doubts than before, Ting opened her mouth, but said nothing. She feared she might seem too intrusive and, by mistake, make him draw away.

  Does he know...? What is that supposed to mean? That he’s also afraid of whatever that “thing” is? She... I think his voice trembled a bit when he spoke of it, so fear is likely. That creature must be more horrible than I imagined, but what kind of monster could it be? Maybe a demon...? Is there something with such presence in this world? Maybe... but not anywhere humans can walk, right?

  She stared at Noah in growing, but restrained, curiosity. She wanted to ask, but couldn’t.

  There’s no way he really came from there, right? ...From the Forest of Demonic Beasts...

  She swallowed hard.

  — There’s one more thing I want to ask... May I?

  — Of course.

  — ...I want a bit of silence. — She turned away. — But I don’t want you to leave, stay. What I want is... a hug.

  Noah looked at the cake, hesitant. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself if they went ahead with that.

  Without giving him time to say anything, Ting put the dessert away in the spatial pouch.

  — It won’t go bad in here, so I’ll eat it tomorrow morning, okay?

  — ...I just have to hug you, right? — He climbed onto the bed, swallowing hard.

  She nodded.

  Doing so would be more difficult than she expected, Ting realized when they were face to face.

  Before lying down, she closed the window.

  She wrapped her arms around him, noticing that his body was much harder than she imagined, almost like solid rock, maybe worse. There wasn’t much warmth, making her question whether he was actually alive. Her curiosity almost made her slip her hands under his clothes. She wanted to know what the sensation of direct touch would be like. However, she was afraid that Noah might get the wrong idea about it.

  Closing her eyes, she settled for just that.

  Under the covers, Noah could feel every part of her body and how soft it was. He wasn’t satisfied yet, but he didn’t dare go further. Her scent seemed naturally gentle, as he hadn’t added anything to the bathwater he’d given her. And her warmth was soothing.

  Ting’s fingers gripped tightly, clinging to his clothes.

  — Sorry, I think I’m going to wet your shirt a bit — she whispered between muffled sobs.

  — ...It’s okay.

  That night, the tears didn’t stop, filling the heavy silence.

  Closing his eyes, Noah remained quiet as she’d asked, stroking her back with soft, almost mechanical motions. It was just his body moving, as his mind stood before the golden door that guarded his hollow foundation.

  The one I’m searching for, apparently this goes beyond just finding a companion. To change... she also made me see better in that sense. Starting from within seems like the best way.

  One step, and the darkness wavered, sparkled and spread like a wave.

  The place where the Golden Core is nurtured, if I forge it in any way, in the end, my nascent soul will be as shattered as I am now. My chance to change, to be better... What I need is a new soul, without pain or regrets.

  He looked around, seeing the shattered paths. The result of the many failures he kept experiencing.

  But how...?

  He couldn’t find the answer.

  And so, the journey continued. But without a clear destination in mind, there was no way for Noah to end up anywhere different than where he started. No clarity, no future.

  He sighed.

  I’ll spend some more time with her first; maybe she’ll surprise me again and make me understand something different one more time. Having only the background isn’t enough, so something must still be missing in my conception. Depth...? Yes, maybe it’s because I don’t understand the emotions I want to connect with. Or maybe it’s something else, something missing... a final ingredient.