I watch the mop glide across the floor as it stings the air with bleach, soaking up the final moments of proof he existed. I didn’t notice when they took the bassinet or the rest of the baby blankets. I kept the only blue one tucked inside my pillowcase.

  “Gracias, se?orita.” The lady says as she heads towards the door. “Que tenga un buen día.”

  I nod in response and she disappears.

  I rub my hand down my face, my fingers are cool against my warm eyelids. I take a deep breath and exhale in disbelief. Motherhood. Over before it started.

  I lean back on the hospital pillow. They really should consider investing in ones that feel less like cardboard, but I guess you can’t ask for too much. It’s not a hotel.

  The moment my eyes close, the room drops away. My mind yanks me back without warning…

  I rest my head against the cool of the window, the rain making soft patterns on the outside of the glass. I smile as a flutter brushes against the inside of my abdomen, light as a fingertip tracing from the inside out.

  I glance to my left, admiring him. The world slides by in soft blurs.

  Adrian.

  One hand rests on the wheel, his forearm flexes subtly with each turn, tendons shifting under his tattoo’d skin.

  I say as I reach for his hand and place it on my belly.

  Adrian’s fingers splay gently across the spot where I felt the first flutter. Protective without squeezing, patient without saying a word. I trace the veins along his arm, following each raised line like a map I already know by heart. Every time my fingers loop over a vein and back down, his hand shifts just a little, brushing more of my skin, trying to feel what I’m feeling.

  I watch his profile in the window reflection, a slight smirk rests on his lips. I know that face, thinking about something he won’t say out loud. Just then, a small tap from inside nudges us in the gentlest way. My hand tightens around his without thinking, my breath lifts as the the ripple of movements roll under my skin.

  The colors around me start to dim, like someone smeared the edges with their thumb. Everything goes quiet, like the volume is turning down on reality.

  My mind drags me further back, to before any of this. Before the car, before the kicks, before loss was a word I understood.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  The sun kisses my shoulders, as I tie my hoodie around my waist. ” I say to my classmate as we sit at the information booth. Maggie, I think her name is, continues scrolling on her phone. Her face resting in her hand, hair falling over her eyes. I resume doodling images of the moon and stars on the edges of blank registration forms.

  I look up as a shadow falls across the light I’m using to practice my fledging art skills.

  My heart wants to leap out my chest the moment our eyes lock. Wow, he’s handsome. Older, for sure.

  I manage to state the entire volunteer event’s name without butchering it.

  He snickers, eyes glinting with amusement.he said, then turned and walked away.

  Maggie leans in, finally looking away from her phone. She whispers,

  My eyes drop and I feel that quick rush of heat climb into my cheeks. I pull myself together, quietly.

  I bite the corner of my lip, watching him move from station to station, ensuring everything runs smoothly. Charisma, magnetic… drawing attention without even trying.

  And then...

  the car lurches.

  The tires scream, my body tenses on instinct, stomach tightening around the place that just fluttered with warmth. My body whips with the motion, and the seatbelt yanks tight across my chest. The strap bites hard, sliding just enough to scorch the skin along my collarbone.

  The metal crumples, red lights smear across the wet asphalt. The rain came sideways, rattling the windshield like a thousand small fists.

  Blood pools on my thighs before the ambulance can get to me. The flutter was still.

  Adrian’s voice, is the last thing I heard before darkness closes in.

  I jolt awake to a tingling sensation, then pressure in my chest. My gown is cold against my nipples. Wet.

  My body is still preparing for a child that would never cry.

  I mash on the call button.

  Blue Scrubs pokes her head through the door moments later, her expression soft. “Yes, honey?”

  I hook a finger into the front of the gown and tug the fabric away from my chest, grimacing as the cool, damp cling finally loosens. A shudder rolls through me when the excess milk trails down my skin. I glance at the nurse and lift the gown a little higher, a silent plea.

  “I’ll grab you a new gown,” she said gently. “This happens. Your body’s just doing what it knows to do.”

  My voice breaks. “Even though he’s… g-gone?”

  Blue Scrubs nods. “I’ll be right back.”

  The door closed.

  The machines continued to hum in the silence where my child should have been. I fix my eyes on the ceiling, trying to hold back the endless waterfall of tears when my room door creaks open, yet again.

  I snap my head toward the sound, pain shoots down my neck.

  I croak out a “hello?”, my voice rough and ragged, like gravel scraping metal. I wince, pressing a hand to my throat, trying to focus on keeping my pain at bay.

  A slender frame with a bone straight bob, makes long strides towards my bed. I immediately notice she’s not wearing scrubs, she’s not one of the nurses.

  There’s an urgency in the way she moves. Her hazel eyes lock on mine as she places her hand on my shoulder.

  “Selene, I need to speak with you.”