Bird Brain

  Very few people left the theatre. The crowd gradually separated into obvious groups that stood around talking. A few strays roamed looking at the groups, most of them avoided the group squisher was in. Squish assumed it might be because Slyphie “Reee!” ‘d at anybody that looked at them. Sometimes the “Ree” sounded inviting, other times not so much, but the result was pretty much the same. The person targetted would quickly find another group to join.

  One person from the far side of the theatre steadily homed in on the group and held out their hand, “Hi! I’m Josie. You look like a fun group. Can I join?”

  “The more the merrier.” Atallchevy said, shaking their hand. The group introduced themselves and began chatting about what would happen next and how amazing the special effects were. After about ten minutes, brjenkins reappeared and a group disappeared with him. The nearby groups rushed over to check the floor where the light circle had been, but no one could figure out how the trick was done. The theatre steadily emptied out until their group was the only one left after forty minutes.

  The chatting began to die out and the group just stood around the final fifteen minutes looking at their phones every few minutes until infernalrobot spoke up, “That’s sixty minutes. Did he forget about us or did they fill their quota or something.”

  “All right. Saved the best for last.” brjenkins said after appearing out of nowhere. A circle of light appeared. “Right this way!” He said as he bowed and motioned towards the…portal? Slyphie let out an excited “Ree” and ran through the portal. The others looked at each other before shrugging and following.

  Josie jumped in front of Atallchevy and said, “Last one through buys dinner.”

  Atallchevy took a deep breath and approached the portal. He looked brjenkins up and down before rolling his eyes and saying, “This has to be the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” When he stepped into the light, he once again saw the others standing in front of him. The air felt and tasted different. It felt like it was filling him with life as he stood there breathing deeply. He glanced around the room and saw it was plain white and barren of furniture or any features whatsoever.

  “Dinners on chevy tonight!” Josie announced.

  “Ok. Pay attention. Your interfaces will load shortly as the system creates a record of your soul since you have not gone through an integration. There is a major benefit of having a copy of your soul saved and updated in real time on what you may think of as the system’s servers, but we can get into that later. Soon you will be asked to create your class. Please do not all create venusian frog shamans. I know that’s the hot topic in the comments right now, but …”

  “REEEEEE!!!” a green falcon happily called as it awkwardly attempted to fly off of the floor.

  “How?” brjenkins said, but shook his head. “Nevermind. You’ll soon realize that outsiders also seem to be able to break some of the system’s rules and tend to be naturals at conceptual magic, so use the knowledge you’ve learned from reading the Malefic Author’s story and others to build your character’s skills. Belief goes a long way with you guys. Think of it as being mini-Valdemars in some ways. Believe in yourselves and you can make it happen … sometimes …and sometimes even in the way you intended.”

  Everybodies heads jerked back as their interfaces appeared in front of them. “After you select your class, you will select your professions. Being given this option at level 0 is another benefit of being outsiders. However, I believe the falcon may find out that they are not given an option to select a profession.”

  “Reee.” Slyphie said in what seemed to be only slight disappointment. She was back to trying to figure out how to fly and was soon whizzing around the large room. Everybody else was obviously tinkering in their interfaces as their eyes moved rapidly around the room and an occasional hand rose to poke at something that wasn’t there.

  “Come to me when you finish setting up your character and I’ll give you equipment.” brjenkins announced. “Be prepared to tell me your social security numbers, birthdate, full legal name, brand of your first car, favorite pets name, and…”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Heads turned and eyes glared at the strange old man. He raised his arms and said, “Kidding. Just checking to see if you were paying attention.”

  Josie stepped in front of him and announced. “I’m a bard/cartographer. I’ll start working on boosts and healing abilities and branch from there. My cartographer will be focused on revealing hidden secrets and eventually fast travel.”

  Bret nodded. “That’s a wise choice…” he used identify on her and pulled out a seven string lyre and some other musical instruments. “Josie. Many of our groups didn’t have anybody wanting to select a support class. Now…don’t be offended…but I’ve got to ask. Are you really planning to be a cartographer or are you backdooring a thief build?”

  Josie glared at him and he raised his hands again. “Sorry. Just curious. You’ve got to admit finding hidden things and being able to get away fast would make you an excellent thief. You’ll find everything you need for your class in your interface as you unlock them, but…” He pulled out what looked like a small backpack. “This contains the tools and supplies you’ll need when making specialized maps for others.”

  Raising his voice loud enough for everyone to hear, he said, “You should all have an inventory in your interface. If you want to store something, you just need to focus on storing it or manually store it in the interface.”

  “Hey!” infernalrobot said as he now stood barechested. Slyphie had landed on his shoulder and apparently used his shirt to test her inventory. Slyphie gave an apologetic “Ree” and his shirt reappeared and fell to the floor.

  Bret held up what looked like a metal wristband. “This will hide your identity from prying eyes. They are not uncommon at all. A group of level 0 adults would draw too much attention that we would prefer to avoid.”

  Once everybody had received their starter equipment, Bret opened a door that appeared on the wall and led everybody outside and into what looked like a shiny silver bus that lifted into the air and flew for a few minutes before landing in front of the VIP Party entrance to The Hunters dungeon. Bret talked to the Dungeon Services attendants and quickly guided them through another portal.

  Lemonsquisher looked at Josie wide eyed and said, “I can’t believe this is real.”

  “I know. I can’t wait to see the order and Yggdrasil and Villy and Minaga and…” Josie excitedly replied.

  “Before you can do any of that, you must complete the tutorial.” Bret announced. “Speaking of which, you must decide which tutorial to participate in. I would recommend…”

  “We’re doing Jake’s.” Josie announced.

  Bret shook his head. “No one has ever survived Jake’s tutorial. You will make karmic connections with the groups you are added to and William will hunt you down.”

  Atallchevy asked, “What happens if we die?”

  “I’ll go back and pick you up from the theatre a minute earlier.” Bret said

  “So some of the groups died fifty times?” ninjapop asked

  Bret nodded. “Some of the groups made some poor decisions and took a while to figure things out. I recommend gaining as much as you can out of each life you have. We only have about twenty years here before Bizney steals the dungeon. So you will need to take risks and push yourselves.”

  “Surviving Jake’s tutorial would give us a huge boon. Maybe we will be our own group and not have any karmic trails for William to follow.” darkcoffee said. “I think we should give it a shot.” Reluctantly the majority of the group agreed and they left the room to begin their tutorial.

  Lemonsquisher cursed as he found himself standing on a platform of strangers and a blonde haired teenage boy smiled at him creepily.

  *****

  Squisher looked at his watch. Fifty-nine minutes. They had been alone in the room for nearly ten minutes.

  “Your turn, please enter the portal.” brjenkins announced and slyphie eagerly jumped through. When the crazy old coot entered behind the group, he handed them each a bracelet.

  “Put on your bracelets and you’ll understand.” Bret said.

  Squisher did and his memory of his first attempt at the tutorial filled his mind, ending with William’s creepy face staring down at him asking, “How did you know?”

  “Let’s try a different tutorial this time.” Ninjapop said.

  “Ree!” everybody agreed.

  “Let’s try Miranda’s. It was a good mix of combat and profession.” Josie suggested.

  “And we’ll be able to travel with her to Haven.” infernalrobot agreed.

  *****

  Zack met the executives from the Bizney group and they chatted amicably for a few minutes before their food arrived. As the food arrived, they made their rather impressive offer, and Zack said, “I’m sorry to have wasted your time, but as I told you before I have no interest in selling the rights to my dungeon.” He picked up his fork and started to pick up some food with it when suddenly brjenkins appeared and slapped his plate off the table.

  “MJ is the Goat! Your dungeon shall be mine. Come and stop me if you dare!” the lunatic shouted before disappearing.

  Zack stood to excuse himself and return to lead the defense of his dungeon, but the Bizney execs tried to stop him with claims that there was no hurry because legally, the madman will not be allowed to take control of the dungeon without him signing a dungeon sale agreement.

  “I am aware.” Zack stated. “But that maniac is a surprisingly creative and resourceful opponent. I must return to my dungeon.” The executives tried to object again, but Zack was already moving towards the door.

  A scream made him turn and he saw a small dog laying unconscious next to where Zack’s food had spilt across the floor. A half eaten blue mushroom was next to the dog’s mouth. He froze as he remembered a ridiculous note the dragons had once found taped to the gate of his estate in the other timeline. He messaged the brothers and Astrid and found they were already en route to the dungeon.