Urgnox was not happy.

  What had started as a minor inconsistency had become a gaping void. The number of adventurers delving his dungeon had shrunk to almost nothing. Now, he was lucky to see even one delve per day.

  Urgnox could not let this stand, so he sent an envoy to the Department of Dungeon Diplomacy to find out what was going on. It took only three days for a report to return, and at first, that lifted his spirits. The contents of the message, however, did not.

  A new dungeon had been discovered.

  Worse, this new dungeon had a training camp.

  So not only was this upstart stealing his adventurers, it had the gall to train them.

  Urgnox could remember the many notices requesting that he cull fewer adventurers. Until now, he had been able to afford ignoring them. Where else would mortals delve? He had been the youngest and most accommodating dungeon of his era.

  Now there was this newcomer—this nobody—trying to deprive him of his rightful snacks.

  So Urgnox gathered all the monsters that adventurers would normally have been slaying and stored them away. If adventurers would no longer give him mana, then he would take it from this new dungeon instead. It was only months old. A thousand skeletons should be more than enough to clear it.

  Then Urgnox noticed something else—and it only fueled his anger.

  This new dungeon had never been cleared.

  That was an affront. Every dungeon was cleared at least once. It was simply how things were done.

  So Urgnox did the only reasonable thing.

  He decided to send ten thousand skeletons instead.

  Now, no matter what this new dungeon possessed, Urgnox was certain he could crush it.

  Digging through his menu, Urgnox eventually located the upstart.

  Matthias of the Vitalmire Crucible Dungeon.

  A raid dungeon.

  Urgnox snorted when he saw the details. The dungeon rarity was only uncommon. Worse, it had not even selected a faction.

  With a few simple mental commands, war was declared, and his minions began their march. His only regret was that it would take his forces an entire month to arrive.

  ---

  [Urgnox (Rare) of the Evernight Crypt Dungeon has declared war on you with the goal of annihilation.]

  [Urgnox has deployed 10,000 skeletons (basic) to attack you. ETA: 30 days.]

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "Just like that?" Matthias asked.

  "Like what?" Chloe replied.

  "Someone named Urgnox just declared war on me," Matthias said dryly. "No envoy. No warning. He immediately deployed ten thousand basic skeletons."

  Chloe looked broken. She simply stared, blinking slowly. It took nearly five minutes for her to reboot.

  "I think being here with you has ruined me for other dungeons," she admitted at last. "Urgnox is the youngest dungeon in the Infernal faction. He belongs to a sub-faction called the Evernights—mostly undead dungeons."

  "But why skeletons?" Matthias asked. "Is that a real attack, or just posturing?"

  "I—I think it’s real," she said, uncertainty creeping into her voice. "When I was training, he was only a rare core. Most dungeons don’t invest in variety like you do."

  "But they’re basic skeletons," Matthias pointed out. "I think my goblins could each take ten of them single-handedly."

  "Sweetie, your goblins are terrifying," Chloe reminded him.

  "So… do I send hobs?" he asked. "I could send about two hundred in a week, once they mature."

  "You would send only two hundred?" she asked.

  "You’re right," Matthias sighed. "They’re too malicious. They’d be little better than bandits."

  "No, I’m confused about why you think they could kill fifty times their number," she corrected him.

  "Because they can use tactics," he said. "If I made them sapient—which I could do at any moment—they could act as guerrilla troops and wear down the undead over days."

  "You can’t control sapient life," she warned.

  "I can set conditions," he replied smugly.

  "That’s dangerous," Chloe said wearily. "Sapient life doesn’t even count on the dungeon war map."

  "But like I said, the hobs are too aggressive," Matthias sighed. "There are other monsters I could make. I even know a few bird species that eat bone marrow from corpses."

  "Birds should not be your first solution," Chloe mused. "Scavengers get dangerous at the flock sizes you’d need."

  "So do I just send one monster?" Matthias asked. "Like Steve? He looks like he needs something to punch."

  "No," Chloe said firmly. "He’s a guardian. You can’t dispatch a guardian. What are the war terms?"

  "Annihilation," Matthias admitted.

  "That idiot," Chloe groaned. "He violated etiquette and declared the highest tier of war. Embarrassment, raids, subversion—those exist for a reason. Of course he chose annihilation. And of course you’re… you."

  "You sound conflicted," Matthias noted.

  "On paper he is the stronger core," she snapped. "His strongest monster is a bone golem. This will just make a mess. He won’t stop unless his faction makes him. Your swamp could probably contend with that many undead. That is not even including any territorial turtles that might get involved. And the war won’t end until one of you is dead."

  "So maybe I send a joke counter-invasion and hope an envoy shows up to negotiate before he dies?" Matthias suggested.

  "What’s going on?" Lucy asked, finally returning from riding bunnies like horses.

  "Urgnox declared war on us," Chloe said flatly.

  "Who?" Lucy asked.

  "The youngest undead dungeon," Chloe clarified.

  "Oh, little boner," Lucy said, nodding sagely.

  "There is no way that’s what your side calls him," Chloe deadpanned.

  "It is," Lucy said cheerfully. "Actually learning your dungeon names would be showing too much respect."

  Chloe looked so offended it seemed to physically break her.

  "So what’s he sending?" Lucy asked.

  "Ten thousand basic skeletons," Matthias replied.

  "Terms?"

  "Annihilation."

  "And what are you sending back?" Lucy pressed.

  "Slimes."

  "Hold on," Chloe snarled, turning on Lucy. "I spent years learning dungeon names! And your side just makes up stupid nicknames?"

  "Yep," Lucy said happily. "It’s not like your side ever wins. Any dungeon below Mythic is basically fodder."

  Chloe let out an inarticulate cry of outrage.

  "So… slimes?" Matthias tried again.

  But his fairies were too busy arguing. Chloe raged. Lucy enjoyed herself far too much.

  With a sigh, Matthias shifted his focus to the newly unlocked war tab. He selected every excess slime he had and issued the command.

  ---

  [Matthias (Uncommon) has dispatched a counter-invasion.]

  [5,000 slimes dispatched (various). ETA: 3 days.]

  Urgnox stared at the prompt for a long time, struggling to comprehend what he was seeing.

  "Why slimes?" he muttered. "And why are they so fast?"