Chapter 070　 That’s all.

  *

  After 8:00 PM, Su Xian initiated a video call with Li Chengshi, and he picked up instantly. Even alone at home, he had diligently prepared a decent meal for himself, chatting with her while he ate.

  "I thought there would be a banquet tonight. Didn't the people from Sanyou Group host you?"

  "Not today, but there’s one tomorrow. I'll call you a bit later then."

  "Mm. So, what did you have for dinner?"

  "Seafood hot pot. It’s all the freshest seasonal seafood, absolutely delicious. You can even put udon noodles in the broth at the end."

  "You’re making me crave it."

  "Once the art museum is completed, the whole company will definitely come for a site visit. I'll take you to eat it then." For some reason, this sentence triggered her tear ducts. Su Xian quickly stood up, pretending to stretch, and paced around the room. She casually went to the bathroom, where she had a quick cry and wiped away her tears. Shamefully, she remembered Zhao Nanfeng’s words: "If you feel sad again, remember, it’s not real sadness; it’s just hormone withdrawal symptoms after the procedure."

  Okay, okay, just hormone withdrawal symptoms.

  "Wifey, where did you go?" Li Chengshi shouted over the phone.

  "I’m here." She washed her face and returned quickly. "I just went to blow my nose so I wouldn't ruin your appetite."

  "My wife is so considerate."

  The two chatted about nothing in particular while handling their own business until Li Chengshi cried out, "My phone is dying!" and went offline instantly.

  Su Xian sent a message saying she had to wake up early tomorrow and told him to go to bed early too. A few minutes later, he turned his phone back on to send a kissing emoji. Su Xian felt her eyes welling up again.

  "Have I gone crazy?" She tilted her head back, trying to keep the tears in.

  If I knew a serious relationship was this exhausting, I shouldn't have started one.

  No, no... I never regret liking him. I shouldn't be thinking about escaping right now.

  Damn these hormones!

  **

  At 10:00 AM the next day, they packed up, checked out, rented a car, and took the ferry to the island. They would stay on this scenic island for the next two days.

  The weather was hot and the sunlight was piercing. Whether it was seasickness or hormone withdrawal, Su Xian felt nauseous again and her stomach began to ache. Fortunately, the boat ride only lasted a little over an hour, but she felt as if her life's convictions were being destroyed. She repeatedly reminded herself that this wasn't the bitterness of love, but the consequence of a drunken mistake.

  I’m quitting! I must quit drinking!

  After arriving at the hotel, Zhao Nanfeng helped with her luggage while Yoshida supported her as she sat on the edge of the bed.

  "Go eat. Give me an hour; I promise I'll recover and won't affect the afternoon's work."

  "You rest well this afternoon. I'll take Yoshida."

  Yoshida was overjoyed. "Team Leader Su, please rest well. Just give me the materials."

  "No need, I can do it." Su Xian found it hard to accept being replaced at work. She immediately stood up to show her strength, but a powerful wave of dizziness knocked her back, leaving her slumped on the bed, unable to get up.

  *

  Zhao Nanfeng sent Yoshida to the pharmacy to buy medicine. He sat down in a chair nearby and sighed. "Look at how miserable you are! You always think work is your life because there’s no one behind you, right? Let me tell you, that’s not how it is. You helped me through my toughest times; would it kill you to rely on me for once?"

  "I’ve been relying on you all along! Is there anyone as pathetic as me? I rely on you for work, and now I have to rely on you for my personal life. You’re my damn ex-boyfriend, not my boyfriend! Ah!" she screamed, tears flowing uncontrollably. She felt like she might as well just cry herself to death.

  Zhao Nanfeng placed the tissue box by her hand and sat back, watching her vent her emotions.

  *

  Once the emotional outburst passed, a sense of shame rushed over her. Great, he had caught another weakness. Su Xian quickly wiped her tears and blew her nose. Now, she felt a combination of dizziness and the physical weakness that follows a heavy cry; she couldn't even lift her head.

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  Let everything be destroyed.

  She closed her eyes and reached out her hand. "Pass me the trash can."

  Zhao Nanfeng held the trash can in a convenient spot. "Let go."

  The crumpled paper fell, and she felt as if her dignity had been thrown away with it.

  "Don't overthink it. Missing one work session won't change anything. You will always be my most capable head disciple."

  "Screw you."

  Zhao Nanfeng burst out laughing. "Also, I can always be your boyfriend—as long as I decide I am. I’ll accept appearing in any form: lover, spiritual lover, boss, partner, friend, stranger. That’s all."

  "Get out! Get out, get out, get out!" Su Xian grabbed her phone and hurled it at him.

  Zhao Nanfeng caught the phone and placed it back on her pillow.

  The doorbell rang; it was Yoshida returning with the medicine.

  **

  While Zhao Nanfeng was away, Honda was responsible for relaying work instructions and ensuring everyone submitted their drawings and materials on time.

  At noon, she came over to have lunch with Li Chengshi, only to see him flipping through a book of exam questions for the First-Class Architect license.

  "あれ、李さんも試験に出ますか？ (Oh? Li-san, are you taking the exam too?)"

  いえ、これはのグループ長の本、小豆島に持っていたと思ったのに。(I thought she took it with her to Shodoshima.)" For the past six months, Su Xian had taken this textbook everywhere she went.

  "試験日は今週末だから、蘇さんはきっと復習完了しましたよ、心配しないで。The exam is this weekend, so Su-san must have finished her review already. Don't worry."

  "そうですね。(I guess so.)" Su Xian held a First-Class Architect certificate from China, which allowed her to waive certain subjects in the Japanese exam. It should be a sure thing for her. He didn't think much more about it.

  **

  The dizziness medication made her drowsy. When she woke up, it was already 4:00 PM. Her symptoms had subsided, and she was hungry. In the fridge were the sandwich, vegetable salad, and green tea Yoshida had bought. After eating, her spirit returned. Su Xian tidied herself up and took a taxi to Yuhigaoka (Sunset Hill).

  The place was famous for its sunset sea views, but there was no dedicated observation deck for tourists. She found a utility pole by the road and sat down against it, waiting for the sun to set.

  She rarely allowed herself to be this idle, but today she needed this time to heal.

  *

  As the work day neared its end, Li Chengshi picked up his phone, wanting to ask Su Xian what she was doing. But since she didn't like being disturbed during work, he decided to wait until the evening.

  Su Xian watched the sea surface quietly, with the occasional sea bird flying past.

  There had been some lingering summer heat when she arrived, but now the sea breeze felt refreshing.

  After 6:00 PM, Zhao Nanfeng finished his work. While waiting to eat with the Sanyou Group people, he sent a message asking about her condition. She told him not to worry and sent him her location.

  He told her to find an expensive place for dinner if she was hungry and put it on the company tab.

  Forget it, she thought. The less I rely on him, the better.

  *

  The sunset was beautiful, but a sunset can't truly heal anything.

  In the end, she had to rely on herself.

  Su Xian finally cleared her head.

  The accidental pregnancy: her responsibility; she would quit drinking. Dropping the child: her choice, and a firm one; she wouldn't feel guilty toward Li Chengshi for it. Asking Zhao Nanfeng for help: first, she hadn't sought him out—he just happened to be there; second, if she were back home, she could have asked Liang Wenya, Old Zhang, or Wang Jing, but here, she only had Zhao Nanfeng. It was an act of necessity; there was no need to feel guilty. Her emotional breakdowns: normal human reactions, not a sign of weakness. As for Zhao saying "I can always be your boyfriend"—psh! Was she supposed to quit her job because she was bothered by that sentence? No. She only felt like she should be bothered by it according to common logic, but in reality, she didn't care at all. Right now, Towa Design was thriving, and she wasn't about to give up her job.

  That’s all.

  **