Leah came to a gentle stop outside my home and bowed so we could dismount her. "That. Was. AWESOME!" Charlie squealed. Leah chuckled. "Gd you enjoyed" she said with a canine smile. "GAH! The wolf can talk!" squeaked Charlie. She gave xir a disappointed scowl. "Why wouldn't the wolf be able to talk?" she grunted. "Don't you need like, human vocal chords for that?" xe asked.

  "I have human vocal chords" she bristled. "But you're a wolf… Wouldn't you have wolf vocal chords?" asked Charlie. "No? Why would I give myself wolf vocal chords? I wouldn't be able to talk!" scoffed Leah. "But you'd be able to howl" noted Charlie. "Howling comes in handy way less often than “cliff ahead!”" Leah noted.

  "Thanks for the lift" I said. "Any time Vanessa" she said, and then she took off, accelerating zero to thirty miles an hour in seconds. I pushed the door open and beckoned Charlie inside. "Welcome to my humble abode. Its not much but the couch is comfortable. I had a long day yesterday driving to New Jersey so I'm going to take an early night. You can watch any of the DVDs on the pystation" I said.

  "Do you have any books on magic?" asked Charlie. "No, not really. My power has always been pretty instinctual. The town archive might have some. We can stop by after school tomorrow if you want" I stated. "SURE!" Charlie excimed. I hung my duvet to create a privacy curtain and quickly changed into some pajamas. When I stepped out from behind it Charlie was staring right at me, smiling like a lunatic. "EEK!" I yipped.

  "Nice pajamas! You changed quickly. Is that a magic changing stall which magics you into new clothes?" xe asked. "No, I'm just fast at switching clothes because I'm afraid of changing rooms" I noted. "Oh. Mood" replied Charlie. "You can help yourself to any of the pajamas in that basket over there. That's the clean pajamas basket" I told xir. Xe quickly selected a set. "Where's the dirty clothes hamper?" xe asked. "That basket" I pointed. I politely looked away from the privacy curtain until xe were finished changing. When xe emerged xe had noticeably more bust. I had the basic courtesy to pretend I didn't notice.

  I handed xir bnkets and then pulled down my duvet and climbed into bed. "Night Charlie" I said and then turned away and closed my eyes. "Hey" called Charlie. "What's up?" I asked. "You can control people's minds, right?" xe asked. "Sure" I replied. "Does that mean you could make me do anything?" xe asked. "I could, though the effort expended on my end scales with how far away you are and how amenable you'd be to the command in the first pce. It would probably take more effort to make you say a slur than eat a piece of candy for example" I expined.

  "So you could make me do anything" xe asked. "Pretty much if I had a mind to" I replied. "Hey, if you could make me do anything, what would you make me do?" xe asked. "I can think of something" I said, an edge of snark entering my voice. "Ooooooooh…" xe excimed. Xe went silent for about thirty seconds. "So what's stopping you" xe asked. "Basic human decency" I replied. "I don't mind" xe stated. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm up for anything!" xe salivated. "Okay" I replied. "SLEEP". Xir breathing immediately slowed and xe didn't stir for the rest of the night.

  "Do you have any… threes" asked Esme Cooper. "No" replied Alice and Jared in synchrony. "Do you have any… nines!" demanded Alice. "No" replied Esme and Jared together. "Do you have any… queens" decred Jared. "No!" replied Esme. Alice suddenly colpsed to one side and started snoring sweetly, dropping her cards all over the floor.

  "Shouldn't you be a sophomore like Rose and Leah? You're sixteen right?" I queried. "Yeah, but I'm probably behind them on the magical curriculum, so I should start out as a freshman" xe posited. "We learn the same subjects we would in a normie school. There is no magical curriculum as such" I revealed. "WHAT? That's a load of trite! What's the point in having school then?" excimed Charlie. "You know I'm not completely sure. So far it seems to be a pce to snog my girlfriend while a middle aged man with a mathematics hyperfixation espouses the virtues of his hobby. But I do pn on going to colge one day and while I have every intention of faking my GED documentation, I would actually rather know the materials" I stated.

  Charlie groaned. "Sure you don't want to be in Rose and Leah's css?" I asked. "Mmmmm… do they make out in css too?" asked Charlie. "I can't imagine so. I have a tendency to blend into the background which lets me push my luck a lot more than they could" I mused. "Then I'll stay in the lesbian safe zone" xe determined. "If you say so" I replied. We walked into css.

  I took a seat near the back. Charlie took the nearest seat to me. "That's Alice's seat" I warned. "Who's Alice" xe asked. "My girlfriend" I replied. "Hmm… Well maybe she can fight me for it" xe mused. "MOVE". Xe reparked xir butt on the seat in front of me without really noticing what xe was doing. Xe then rotated xir seat a hundred and eighty degrees so xe was facing me instead of the board, which might annoy the teacher when he got here but that didn't seem important.

  The css filled up with students before too long. Alice took her usual seat and then dragged it so she was right next to me. "Morning!" she said brightly. "This the girlfriend? Damn, are the tits real or magical?" asked Charlie. Alice squealed. "Nessie, why?" she gasped. She took in Charlie. "Who's this mook?" she grunted. "Alice, you remember Charlie from the mall. Xe had purple hair then" I expined. Alice gave xir stink eye. "What is… xe?… doing here?" she asked.

  "I ran into xir at the farmers market. Xe were looking for and I quote, a cold vampire girlfriend to corrupt xir and a warm werewolf girlfriend to protect xir" I expined. "So you brought… xir… back?" she asked skeptically. "I promised I'd tell xir all about magic if I ever met xir again, and I met xir several states and about a thousand miles away, on a quest to find magic. I reckon that's destiny" I noted.

  Alice fixed Charlie with a stare. "How can we trust xir" she demanded. "I had the elders interrogate xir. Elder Maggie couldn't find any dark plots hiding in xir heart" I expined. Alice considered. "Alright. I'm Alice. Pleased to meet you again" she smiled. "So we met before Vanessa erased my memories? Gnarly! Were we friends? Were we girlfriends? Did we sy a dragon together? Or maybe a mall transphobe?" xe babbled.

  "Um… I don't think we said a word to each other actually" Alice recalled. "Aw, shame… lets make up for lost time! I love your tits, are they real or magic? If they're magic can you give me big tits that I can store in hammer space?" rambled Charlie.

  "Um… why can't they be both" ughed Alice, and then she shape shifted into Charlie, except with even bigger tits than she normally had. Charlie's jaw dropped. "Can I do that?" xe gasped. "Maybe? Probably not though. From my limited data powers normally grow in in response to a deep seated desire, and if you didn't already want to be a shapeshifter badly enough to be one then your power is probably something else" I mused.

  "No fair!" pouted Charlie. "TELL ME ABOUT IT!" I cried. "Says the girl who can mind control people into using her correct pronouns" teased Alice. "Can you make people use my correct pronouns?" asked Charlie. "I can give it a go, but it might make people question reality" I mused.

  "So could you look like anyone" xe asked of Alice. "Pretty much but the tits stay" said Alice. "Because your power allows you to change everything but your tits?" gasped Charlie. "No, because I like them" smiled Alice. "… based" said Charlie.

  "Huh?" grunted Alice, with a confused head tilt. "Oh, nguage evolves over time. Honestly with how isoted the town is I'm surprised there hasn't been a bit of drift and a bunch of local colloquialisms" I noted. "Maybe the town isn't very imaginative" mused Charlie. "Maybe".

  The teacher arrived and called the roll. Once that was done he made to expin the lesson but I interrupted him. "Excuse me sir. Remember the blue haired kid from yesterday?" I asked. "I recall. How come?" he replied. "Well there's a bit of a story behind it but basically xir's staying with me and I'd like you to intro xir to the css" I expined. "Oh… sure" he said weakly. "Charlie, you're up" I said.

  Charlie walked to the front of the room and then spun on xir heel. "HELLO! My name is Charlie Thurber and I use xe/xir pronouns. I've dreamed of aliens and witches and time travellers all my life and I'm ecstatic to finally meet you! I hope we can become great friends" xe beamed. The mathematics teacher made eye contact with me. "Are the elders okay with this Vanessa?" he queried. "They're not thrilled, but given the odds against meeting xir in the market I'm pretty sure magic was involved somehow, probably Siobhan's influence" I expined.

  "How improbable are we talking" he asked. "I met xir twice, over a thousand miles apart and the only reason xe was at the market was “a feeling”" I expined. "That sounds like Siobhan's influence alright" admitted the mathematics teacher. "Is… xe a witch?" he asked. "We're not sure. Xe don't seem to have any sort of power, besides whatever force took xir to New Jersey yesterday and that was probably just Siobhan's influence" I said.

  "Well… its not impossible to reach an advance age and never develop a power. They say there was a witch who was powerless until the day he died, when he exploded and killed a dozen witch hunters" mused the mathematics teacher. "Why did they make someone with no power a raider?" somebody asked. "There are more powers than magic. He could read maps really well if I recall" replied the mathematics teacher.

  Charlie returned to xir seat. I got up to go to the front of the css. "Hey! Where're you going!" cried Charlie. "I want to learn" I stated. "Oh come on, its only factorizing polynomial equations, there's literally no use for that in the real world" xe excimed. "What's the point of coming to school if I'm not going to learn anything" I asked. "Beats me. I stopped going to school years ago" xe said.

  I fixed xir with a look. "You stopped going to school years ago?" I grunted. "Sure. Why not? Everyone there is mean and its not like I ever learn anything important" xe said flippantly. "Maybe if you bothered to learn it you'd find a use for it" I snapped. Charlie looked at the board. "x(x+5), (x+12)(x-12), (2x+3)(x-2), (x+3)2(2x-3). If I ever find a use for being able to factorize polynomials I'll let you know" xe replied smugly.

  "How the hell?" I excimed. "Its just mathematics Vanessa. Its really not that complicated" xe ughed. "But that's! You're not even…" I was left a bit lost for words. "Can we do lesbian stuff now?" asked Charlie. "Charlie… have you considered your magical power might be being good at mathematics?" I asked. Xe went from smug to horrified. "NO! Why would you say that? You were a good person before you said that!" xe cried.

  Alice burst out ughing. "Don't worry. I've never heard of a witch who's power was “mathematics” before" soothed Alice. Charlie smiled. "What's the mathematics teacher's power" I asked. Alice frowned. "I'm not sure". I might have smiled a bit at Charlie's horror.

  I spent the morning doing school work. Some of us actually do have to put in an effort to even sort of understand mathematics. Charlie spent the morning trying to convince Alice xe'd be a better girlfriend and/or boyfriend than me. Alice encouraged xir like you would a toddler who's insisting they could beat you at wrestling.

  We met up with Rose and Leah in the cafeteria for lunch. Spiced fried chicken slices with what appeared to be avocado fries. Guess the giant avocado surplus wound up with the school. I took an experimental bite. They were both sweet and salty. I didn't outright hate it but… they were probably a bit of an acquired taste. We sat unaccosted at our usual table.

  "Rose, this is Charlie. You may remember xir from the mall" I introduced. Rose gave xir a look like xe was a horse that had just wandered in. Not necessarily unwelcome, just completely out of pce. "Good to meet you I guess" she grunted. "Likewise" said Charlie cheerfully.

  "You never did expin how pronouns work" noted Rose. "Sorry, I got kidnapped by nazi witch hunters" I protested. "No time like the present. Why are her… xir? pronouns so weird?" asked Rose.

  "Well you know how Alice and me are trans, right?" I stated. "Yeah" said Rose. "Wait, WHAT?" gasped Leah. "Oh, I was assigned male at birth, same as Alice" I expined. There was a moment of silence. "That… expins your emotional storm by the roadside" she noted.

  "Great. Anyway, in the same way that me and Alice like being girls and not boys, its possible to not like being either. And if you don't feel like either a girl or a boy you kind of need pronouns that don't represent either. Some people use they/them or it/its, but others realized that since words are just made up anyway they can invent their own. Hence, Charlie uses xe/xir pronouns. Of course, anyone can use any pronouns even if they're cis. There are no rules. But that's the basics" I expined.

  "So I could just go by he/him and still be a girl?" asked Leah. "Sure, if you want" I said. "Gnarly!" she smiled. "Is that something you'd want?" I asked. "Maybe. Definitely when talking about sports scores. I always feel like I'm looked down on when people talk about my sports scores. Like I score nine touchdowns and that's “pretty good for a girl”. I'd like to see that woolbrained jackass score nine touchdowns!" she spat.

  "One of us! One of us! Soon there shan't be any cis people left!" sang Charlie. "Piss off!" grunted Rose. Charlie fixed her with a smile. "You cannot resist the power of the trans agenda. Surrender or perish!" xe excimed. Rose reacted in her typical fashion and lifted xir into the air with telekinesis and force choked xir.

  Xir hands went to xir throat. "Harder… Mommy!" xe choked out. Rose dropped xir in shock. "W-w-what?" she demanded. "Heh! Maybe my magic power is making lesbians gush!" taunted Charlie. Rose was turning a shade of pink. "Vanessa make her stop!" compined Rose. "Nessie, don't you dare make xir stop" demanded Alice. "Charlie, ask consent before weirding people out" I ordered. "Oh come on, she loves it" Charlie protested. "Arousal is not consent. Until she says its okay, no teasing" I snapped. "Fine!" grunted Charlie.

  "Mommy, can I please call you mommy while you choke me again?" xe asked Rose. "WHAT? Vanessa what's going on" Rose asked faintly. "Charlie seems to enjoy you choking xir with your telekinesis and is asking you to do it again to bring xir some sort of intimate gratification" I expined.

  "Wow. Where did you learn to dirty talk, the big bang theory? Talk about sucking all the fun out of it" grunted Charlie. "I'm just trying to make the situation less awkward. You were making her uncomfortable" I protested. "Ugh, be a little more spontaneous Vanessa! I let you do anything at all to me and you put me to sleep!" xe pouted.

  "Damn!" cried Alice. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Last night I suddenly fell asleep while pying go fish with my family. I think we might have a persistent psychic connection" she expined. "That's a thing? Is it because you're soulmates?" gasped Charlie. "What? No. Its usually caused when a part of one person is constantly touching another person, and one of them has a psychic magical ability. Happens a lot to married couples for obvious reasons but since Vanessa never wants to go that far I'm not sure how…" she muttered.

  "I drank some of your blood in the car ride to New Jersey" I recalled. She snapped her fingers. "Yeah, that would do it!" she excimed. "Is it going to ware off soon?" I wondered aloud. "Yeah, without being topped up it usually only sts a few days" she expined. "… I should probably avoid doing that again" I mused. Alice gave me a pleading look. "I sometimes use my powers to kill people. I don't want to have to worry about catching you in the crossfire" I stated.

  "Boring!" cried Charlie. I fixed xir with a disappointed stare. "You want me to risk her life over gratification… Are you nuts?" I asked. "Ugh! What could be hotter than a love you could literally die for" sighed Charlie wistfully. "Growing old together?" I said bnkly. Charlie fixed me with a stare. "Are you asexual or something?" xe demanded. "I literally have a girlfriend. And a crush on a cute butch werewolf. And a crush on a short telekinetic who once tried to kill me. I don't know how much gayer I could get" I noted.

  "Great, so you're homoromantic asexual. Good for you. Can you go away so the grownups can have our fun? Also why no cute enby on that list?" xe snapped. "You're like a year older than me. You're the furthest thing from a grownup on the whole mountain! And there's no cute enby on the list because I just met you and I don't want to come on too strong, because it would make me uncomfortable if someone came on too strong to me…" I said coldly.

  "Also, follow up question, what the hell is a homoromantic asexual?" I demanded. "Well, just because you have romantic feelings for someone doesn't mean you want to fuck them and just because you want to fuck them doesn't mean you have romantic feelings for them. If that were the case the pyboy character trope wouldn't exist" expined Charlie. "Wait, what are you saying?" I gasped.

  "Well, take me for example. I'd be happy to bang a boy or a girl or anything in between. But I could never fall in love with a boy. They don't have enough going on upstairs. So I'm homoromantic bisexual. Or maybe polyromantic, I'm not sure where I stand on masc aligned enbies who aren't men… As for you, you're a complete ice queen so definitely asexual, but you're romantically interested in girls so that makes you homoromantic. Its not that complicated really" xe expined.

  "I'm going to need to have a mental breakdown about this when I get home" I admitted. "Awwww, but its our one on one date night!" compined Alice. "I can have the mental breakdown in your arms" I offered. She considered. "Its a date!" she excimed.

  "Speaking of dates, hey Rose: after school can I come to your pce and you choke me some more" asked Charlie. "I… Um… Uh…" groaned Rose. "Pleeeeeeeease!" begged Charlie. "I… Um…" said Rose. "You don't have to answer right now. Figure out your boundaries and answer when you know what you're comfortable with" I advised. "Ugh! Boring. Figure it out quickly. We only get one life unless we have the power to turn into a tree! Lets not waste it on indecision!" moaned Charlie.

  "Charlie, if you don't stop bothering Rose the only thing out of your mouth for the next twenty four hours will be dog noises" I threatened. "Woof?" replied Charlie. Xir eyes widened. "Woof! WOOF WOOF!" xe cried. Oh. Xe was so amenable to the thought it entrapped xir just by crossing my mind. Fascinating.