Yes, I bring my newest spawn with me. While I don't really want to think about the monster that fathered the THING growing in my belly… I also don't really want to leave her unsupervised for long. I drop her off in an unused room of my castle, along with a few male summoned minions to keep her occupied until she exhausts herself. I instruct her to stay in that room.

  I wonder what he's going to think when he wakes up in the morning with no memory of the night?

  I cast Sending three times, to send the same message to Roger, Bearcw, and Wesley: “Chard Woudrazed is no longer a threat. We shouldn't kill him, however; please return to base to discuss.” I'd include more information, but the spell is limited to twenty-five words. Mom once said that's a historian in-joke from her home world, as is the copper wire component most wizards need; something about a ‘telegram’? Eh, whatever, it doesn't matter.

  I come back to find Vanessa waiting for me, her full head of wavy raven locks tied into twin ponytails with pink ribbons, a silver neckce holding a small polished pink strawberry quartz on the pendant drawing the eye to the low neckline on the sleeveless pink silk dress she's wearing, which hugs her curves as she moves, sashaying towards me on her pink stiletto heels, “Ah, you're back; I've been… lonely…” as she licks the red lipstick she's wearing.

  I don't need much Sense Motive to realize she's a golddigger. I mean, she was dating a duke's son before, was upset with her mother about the consequences of her lending the cursed ring to her boyfriend, and now she's coming on to me while I'm female? Seriously, could she be any more obvious? The question then becomes how far am I willing to take this to humor and/or take advantage of her.

  “I'm not looking for more companionship,” I'm already carrying, effectively married as-is, and I have as many fully customizable pythings as I want - with the blessing of my mate, even. Oh yes, and I'm infectious. So the answer to the earlier question is: Not at all.

  She doesn't seem bothered by that, continuing to approach and draping an arm around me, “am I not to your liking, Baron? I don't mind a little customization…” she presses her chest into my arm.

  Which is admittedly warming me up, so I need to end this quickly, “Guards,” I speak as I summon four of them: Crusaders, Padins in breastptes… I go with females. When I summon the guard, I do so quite literally, “please take this dy, gently, to her mother at the guildhall.” I give them more detailed instructions telepathically: Where to find the guildhall, what Aldamen looks like, what to do after, and so on: It's not like fresh summons will know anything about the town, after all. After a little buffing, they'll make fine guards for the wall, and okay healers the rest of the time. I notice they all have that same half man, half woman outline in their silver holy symbols… I'm going to need to look that up in my library… eventually.

  The woman doesn't resist, and the guards escort the little minx out with little fuss.

  Of course, I have some mixed news for Last Shadow. I find I can’t mentally see her, so I Greater Teleport to the roost, and… yes, now I can. That's how Mage's Private Sanctum works: Those inside can see anything inside or outside as well as they normally could, no problem. Those outside can't see inside, even by magic, it's just a dark, foggy, silent mass. Surprisingly, she's on the human side of it. I walk over and can easily hear her turning the water on and off in the shower. That's fine: The septic tank is big enough that we could run the water continuously without any issues, the Decatur is producing water at a fixed rate anyway, and the water heater burns constantly anyway; her pying with it costs us nothing... and I have a pressure tank to even out the flow if all the faucets are on for a little while, so it won't even slow down any other uses of the system.

  I walk over and knock on the door, asking her telepathically, “Mind if I join you?” She didn't close the door fully, but old habits die hard.

  “Come on in,” her reply arrives in my head, “I'm just trying to figure out the point of this indoor rain thing.”

  I look at her, standing naked in her human form in the stone tub (the interior is about twelve feet on a side, and four feet deep; there's no shortage of space for me to build out, and materials cost nothing, so why not go big?), turning the Adamantine knobs on and off for the shower head above the setup.

  “It's for rexing or getting clean,” I consider, “We have a spell running that keeps us clean, but we might have guests.”

  “I can see how the water can get people clean, but rexing?” She tilts her head at me.

  I might be using this to put off the awkward conversation… “Hmm… have you ever visited a hot spring?”

  “Yes, there were a few on my mother's mountain, they're nice, but this is just rain.” She tilts her head at me quizzically.

  “There's a fix for that; here…” I shift my clothes to my shadow, put the stone stopper in the lower drain to close it, and turn the knob that directs the water to the jets mounted in the sides of the tub, rather than the shower head above. As it starts to fill, I continue, “this can act as a controlled hot spring. When this knob is turned and the stopper is in pce as so…”

  “Ooh, it fills up with hot water. Huh,” she looks at the hot and cold knobs, “...and these control how hot it is. Why does the water come in through the sides, though?”

  I chuckle, “because it feels good on a human back after a long day.” Other parts, too, “When it's full the excess water will just drain out through here…” I point out the upper drain, “so it won't overflow as long as that's clear.” And if it does, the bathroom floor is angled to another drain, so it will still barely matter at all.

  She shifts to her griffon form, “and while I won't be able to stretch my wings… I can fit in here with room to spare otherwise… thank you!” She licks my face.

  I chuckle, “I'm happy to help.” I take a breath, “I have some mixed news on the egg front.”

  “Oh?” Last Shadow pauses and waits for me.

  “I've dealt with the evil gnome, we have a workable nest, and the castle itself won't take too much longer, but…” I take a breath, “during the fight I was…” I consider my wording, “...mated by magical mind control, and am currently stuck in female forms while the child grows within me… which means I'll need to put off our chicks for a while.”

  She tilts her head, “That shouldn't be too long. Do you know when you're going to y the egg?”

  “That's…” I pause. Okay, so I was going to finish that with ‘not how it works’ but… says who? I can be a griffon for as long as I like, and it does work that way for griffons. Huh.

  “My love?” Ah, I've been silent a bit long.

  “That's a fine way to handle it. I should check though. Please give me a bit.” I know Mom's right here, so I address her telepathically, “Mom?”

  She materializes to my sight, her overstuffed chest dripping milk to nowhere, her dark skinned form not casting a shadow, “You're thinking of being a bird for a bit, and want to check with me if that will hurt the child?”

  “Yes please.” Asking a fertility deity - who is also my mother - for advice on childbirth seems in line.

  “Technically you should use Divination, Contact Other Pne, or a simir spell for this; you could try Commune, but asking yourself is a bit…” she trails off.

  I shrug and use Contact Other Pne, targeting the Outer Deity that is my mother, acing the check via Divine Providence, and ask directly, “Will turning myself into a female griffon let me y this child of rape as an egg successfully?”

  “Yes,” my mother answers in stereo, both via the spell and her local instance.

  I get five questions doing this before I need to recast… so I really have as many as I want, “Will doing so cause any serious complications for the child?”

  “Nope,” again my mother answers in stereo… although the chuckle is just from her local instance.

  So now for number three, “Will doing so cause any serious complications for me?”

  “Yes,” this time NOT in stereo, coming only from the spell, and Mom's local instance looks like she's pouting… which is her way of letting me know something, I'm sure. Holding judgement for now… but I can live with consequences to me.

  Number four, “How long will I need to stay in an egg-ying form before I y the egg?”

  “Four,” again in stereo. Hmm… given that the spell should be about ninety percent truthful, I'm pretty confident where she was required to lie.

  And the st of this set, “Will a summoned egg-sitter of a correct species do the job acceptably well?”

  “Dunno,” the spell responds in my mother's voice, but not in stereo. Mom looks a little miffed herself. Ah, right… she can't confirm or deny a non-answer the way she's been doing. Still… I can't just ask again the same way. It's… probably fine.

  I chuckle, “Thanks Mom.”

  “I'm happy to help,” her local instance chuckles, “and do remember… you were conceived under comparable circumstances yourself,” she fades out.

  Yeah… killing the kid would be just a little hypocritical of me. I shift into a female griffon, and let Last Shadow know, “I'll need to stay like this for four days to y the egg. After that I can have a summon care for it until it hatches, and another feed the caretaker.” I can get a griffon as a summon, and a Druid-7 can cast Bountiful Banquet, no problem.

  “Four days,” she nods slowly, “Works for me.”