[Nero] Correct. The quest timer has been paused, as has the localized reality within this contest zone. The timer will recommence once we are finished here.
“You’re one of those damned green aliens, aren’t you?” Coop said accusingly.
[Nero] I am an AI tutor designed to assist young Pete here in his quest for glory. And you are one Miss Elena Cooper, former owner of this abode and now Pete’s chosen pet companion. You will aid Pete in the fulfillment of quests, provide backup during battles, act as a distraction when matters are dire, and grow your skills and abilities to assist in these vital duties.
“Nonsense! I want to get back into my own body. Actually, seeing as you're whisking people around left, right and center, you can put me into a new body, thank you very much. Something younger, like I was when I was twenty, but a little taller. But no butt stuff. Use your alien technology without going anywhere near my ass, understood?!”
[Nero] You don’t seem to understand. You have been chosen as a soulbound companion for the Dominion Ultrimax Competition. For the duration of your remaining existence, you will continue to live within the body you currently inhabit. True, over time, and if you purchase certain augments, you will be able to change your physical parameters somewhat, but you must remain more or less as you are now.
“Hogwash! Now you listen here, and you listen good, you little green bastard—”
[Nero] I am not green, Mrs. Cooper. I have no real color as I do not exist in any physical manner.
“Shut your trap and listen!” the ferret barked, still frozen in place with claws digging into the fur of the boar. “Put me back into my body or find me a new one. Also, put poor Pickles back into his little body and—”
[Nero] I’m afraid Pickles has been transferred to a limbo compartment, Mrs. Cooper. The creature’s consciousness, such as it is, will remain in this state until you are killed or your champion reaches a high enough level in the contest to purchase an additional pet token. At that time, if Pete chooses, he may reactivate the consciousness of the being known as Pickles. However, I would not—
“PUT ME BACK IN MY BODY!” Coop shouted. “No more excuses!”
[Nero] As I have said several times now, Mrs. Cooper, that will not be possible.
“The hell it won’t! Just use your alien technology and—”
“COOP!” Pete yelled, drawing the ferret’s attention. “Just…for God’s sake, drop it for a minute, will you? I need to figure out what’s going on here, and I can’t do that with you yapping on and on about Pickles.”
The ferret leveled a hard stare at Pete.
“I’m sorry for shouting,” he said. “There’s just a lot going on at the moment, and I need to figure out a way out of this mess; otherwise you being stuck in your pet ferret’s body won’t matter because we’ll both be toast.”
She seemed to calm a little at that, turning away as Pete continued.
“Okay, Nero, tell me what’s going on here. Why and how have we been taken out of reality?”
[Nero] From time to time, when reaching key milestones as a contestant, you will be given unique rewards or provided with the opportunity to take part in special side quests and games. On occasion, this will mean temporarily disconnecting you from your localized reality so that specific messages and rewards can be delivered. In this instance, because you are so new to the contest and are clearly just about to be killed, the Tongsly Belch Corporation is offering you the Ultrimax Newbie Bundle for a one-off, heavily discounted price of just one hundred Belch Bucks.
Pete nodded. “Wait, so you’re gonna charge me for this?”
[Nero] Indeed. All advancements within the Ultrimax contest must be purchased. Skills and abilities, armor upgrades, loot boxes, weapon enhancements, even baseline attributes such as Constitution, Agility, and the like.
“Wait, I even have to buy basic attributes? Don’t I just have starting stats that I can build from?”
[Nero] Yes, of course you have basic attributes, or rather you have the requisite slots for those attributes. But as yet you do not possess any active attributes.
Pete ran a hand through his hair, beginning to understand that the game he had been thrust into was clearly stacked against him.
“So, let me get this straight. I have slots for basic attributes like Constitution and all that, but I’m gonna have to actually buy each basic attribute before I can even start increasing my numbers?”
[Nero] Correct. Available options include Constitution, Strength, Agility, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, and Luck. They can each be purchased for 50 Belch Bucks.
“Fifty Belch Bucks! Shit!”
He quickly calculated how many goblins it would take to amass fifty Belch Bucks. That last kill had earned him five Bucks, so by that logic, he’d need to kill ten goblins in the same manner just to snag one attribute.
“So,” he went on, “I’d need to kill 50 goblins to get enough credits so that I can get a full load-out of attributes.” A thought suddenly occurred. “And I bet they all start at zero, right?”
[Nero] Precisely. Almost everything in the game will need to be purchased, but you will find that some aspects of the contest require only a token amount, whereas other advances and items cost substantially more. Attribute increases will need to be purchased; however, these are bought with attribute points rather than Belch Bucks.
“Nothing is free then? Like…nothing?”
[Nero] Currently there is no requirement to purchase air. I believe there is a proposal to introduce a breathing tax in the near future, however, this has not been implemented for this season, so you are welcome to draw as much breath as you wish. Also, you will not need to pay for most earthly items that are to be found in the contest grounds. Existing weapons, clothing, and the like which are native to this world will incur no cost, for the most part. Ordinary loot drops are also free to acquire, although you will need to kill enemies to gain access to them. There are also occasional instances when you might be given a stat increase or some other reward due to some extraordinary achievement on your part. Attribute increases are earned by completing quests, gaining achievements, and so on, so these do not require Belch Bucks either.
“Okay, so I get to breathe for free and loot pickups won’t cost me cash, but basically everything else needs these Belch Bucks?”
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[Nero] Correct. You also receive Belch Bucks for both kills and achievements, so you should be able to amass the required coin to purchase key items quickly enough provided you engage in the contest with vigor. You will also gain Belch Bucks and greater rewards by completing quests, of course. More difficult quests will offer greater rewards. There are also bonuses for noteworthy deeds and side quests that can be completed whilst moving from arena to arena.
“Sounds like a regular old crock o’ shit!” Coop chimed in. “Whoever the hell this Tongsly Belch character is, someone needs to put him in his place.”
The gauntlet surrounding Pete’s right hand flared with violent crimson light as Nero replied.
[Nero] HUSH FERRET! There are stiff penalties for besmirching the name of our most honorable High Baron Tongsly Belch. If word gets out that I let you speak thus, I will suffer a heavy fine, perhaps even a stint in solitary confinement. It could jeopardize the chances of your champion, and poor Pete is climbing a very steep hill in that regard already.
“Champion?” Coop hissed back. “Pete isn’t a champion. He’s a nice boy, sure enough, but he works a temp job at a paper company for God’s sake. A paper company!”
Pete rolled his eyes. “I’m not a temp anymore Mrs. C…Coop. I’ve been an associate for three years now, and we don’t just sell paper, we manufacture environmentally friendly boxes and storage containers for…” He shook his head. “Jesus, why am I defending my shitty job?”
[Nero] It matters not. You may not be much to look at and your chances of survival in the days ahead might be laughable, but you are technically a player in the greatest gladiatorial contest in the cosmos and thus, officially at least, you are a champion, and this ferret creature is your stalwart companion. Now, I suggest we get on with the matter at hand, as there is a limited time that I can hold you both in stasis.
“Okay, so how much are you gonna sting me for this Newbie Bundle again? And what’s in it? Something that can stop me from being crushed by two charging boars would be great for a start.”
[Nero] The cost will be one hundred Belch Bucks, but given your current level and status, the bundle will be given to you free of charge and you will be able to pay it off once you have sufficient funds to spend. You should note, however, that you will be charged a 50% late fee for choosing this option.
“But this thing only just started, and I’ve got no money? I mean, I’ve picked up a few Bucks, but I don’t even know how to access them, let alone spend the damned things.”
[Nero] You can certainly choose NOT to accept the late payment offer if you wish.
“And get crushed to death by boars?”
[Nero] Precisely. Not the shrewdest strategy if you ask me, but if you wish to proceed in this manner, simply advise me and—
“Well, I’m sure as fuck not gonna do that, am I? Just tell me what’s in the Newbie Bundle.”
[Nero] Certainly. Here is a full list of the included items:
+| Basic Inventory: A limited storage augment which will allow you to store up to one hundred items of any weight and quality, provided the item in question can be picked up with your bare hands. [Cannot be exchanged]
+| Translation Matrix: Allows a player to understand the language of all other contestants and NPCs in their native language. Applies as a passive after being purchased. [Cannot be exchanged]
+| Novice Arena Map: A gauntlet augment which shows the location of the closest Novice level arena and highlights key obstacles and potential loot caches nearby as well as Vend-o-matic machines. [Exchange value 100 Belch Bucks]
+| Starter Wallet: A Belch Bucks gauntlet augment which allows you to hold up to one hundred thousand Belch Bucks. [Cannot be exchanged]
+| Exchange Coupon: This item allows you to exchange one item in your possession for the equivalent value in Belch Bucks. Exchanges must be made at a Tongsly Belch Vend-o-matic machine.
+| Bailout Ticket: A single-use bailout which will pull a player out of a fatal encounter and re-situate them in the closest area of safety. [Exchange value 500 Belch Bucks]
“Shit! Okay, so that Bailout ticket would get me out of this trouble with the boars, right?”
[Nero] Correct. It can be triggered here and will engage the moment you return to reality.
“Right, but if I trade it in, it’s worth five hundred Belch Bucks? If I do that, I could pick up all my basic attributes and have plenty of cash left over for some other stuff.”
[Nero] That is one option, yes.
“Stupid option if you ask me,” Coop barked. “What the hell use is money if you’re dead, son?”
“It would give me a huge leg up early on,” Pete countered. “If I can figure out how to get out of this situation with the boars and get out of the house, I just need to stay ahead of those goblin bastards for another few minutes.”
“But you can’t use the money if you’re dead!” the ferret repeated.
Pete narrowed his eyes, thinking through the predicament.
“Nero, how sure are you that I’m gonna die when we blip back to reality?”
[Nero] Current estimations show that you have approximately an 83% chance of sustaining a fatal wound. You also have a 38% chance of having your torso torn in half, and a 3% chance of one of the boars inadvertently swallowing a portion of your body during the encounter.
“Hell in a handbasket!” Coop hissed.
Pete waved away the extra details, focusing on his overall chance of survival. “Okay that’s a seventeen percent chance of surviving. That’s not nothing.”
“It’s also not good!” Coop barked.
“Nero, is there any way I can increase my odds of survival when time restarts, without having to use the Bailout ticket?”
[Nero] Somewhat. You have already inadvertently been gifted a significant benefit by being taken out of active time. This means that you will be able to consciously choose a certain action, which will be enacted the moment you get back. In this case, to increase your chances of survival, I would suggest moving forward as quickly as you are able and veering to the left.
“Move towards one of the boars?”
[Nero] Exactly. You are already facing the beast, so you will not lose any time turning around. In addition, if you propel yourself forward at pace and veer to the left of the boar, your chances of avoiding terminal damage will increase greatly. However, your chances of suffering a non-terminal injury will also increase.
“Hit me with it then,” Pete said. “How likely am I to get injured if I try this?”
[Nero] Your chances of incurring a non-terminal injury will be 95%. This will likely be sustained on your right leg. Your chance of incurring a fatal injury will drop to 10%.
Pete turned to Coop. “I think I’m gonna chance it. Try to get to one of those vending machines and cash in the Bailout Ticket.”
“And how easy is that gonna be, walking on one leg?”
“We don’t know that the injury will be that bad. It could just be a scratch, right, Nero?”
[Nero] Each option is a possibility. I am unable to predict precisely what will happen. The injury could be a simple scratch, or you may suffer a severe gouge that will leave you significantly hampered.
“What about healing potions and that kind of thing?” Pete asked. “If we make it to one of those Vend-o-matic machines, will I be able to buy something to heal my injuries?”
[Nero] You will indeed. All Tongsly Belch Vend-o-matic machines are stocked with medkits that can heal anything up to a life-threatening wound. They are, however, less effective at healing negative condition statuses such as poison or temporary bankruptcy.
“Okay,” Pete said, nodding to himself. “I’ll take the novice bundle then, and when time starts up again, I’m gonna run for it. If I get hurt, I’ll just deal with it until we can find a vending machine and pick up a medkit.”
“Risky,” Coop said. “But it’s no skin off my boots if you want to go throwing your life away.”
[Nero] Actually, if your champion dies, then you will likewise cease to exist. The creature known as Pickles will be returned to its body and allowed to continue its previous existence, however brief that may be.
“Well now, that changes things! Son, you need to use that Bailout Ticket right now. Your life’s too precious to risk!”
Pete chuckled. “Super precious now that you know you’ll die if I do, huh?”
“Damn straight! Use the Ticket!”
“I’m gonna take my chances.”
“But they’re not your chances, they’re our chances! So, I should get a God-damned vote on the issue, and I vote you USE THE DAMNED TICKET!”
Pete grinned at that. “Even if we both get a vote, it’s fifty-fifty, and I get the veto because it’s my body we’re talking about here. So sorry, but I’ve made my choice.”
“And if you bleed out all over my carpet?”
He looked down at the gauntlet again. “Lock it in, Nero.”
[Nero] As you wish, Pete.
A swell of golden light surrounded the gauntlet, and several notifications showed up on Pete’s HUD.
>> Novice Bundle purchased (100bb debt incurred).
The following items have been added to your gauntlet:
+| Basic Inventory
+| Translation Matrix
+| Novice Arena Map
+| Starter Wallet
+| Exchange Coupon
+| Bailout Ticket
>> Are you ready to return to the contest? Yes/No
Pete took a deep breath and looked over at the ferret.
“You ready?”
The little animal turned back to face the boar it was busy clawing and nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be. You just mind yourself and don’t go dying on me.”
Pete nodded and selected the yes option.
>> Returning to reality…