Those that had been attacking Sam backed away, recognizing their leader’s desire to make a show of the event and moving up beside him as they clanged their own arm implements together. Amid the noise and the shouting of goblins, Pete looked up at the top of the kiosk, catching sight of Coop’s little eyes peering out from above.
[Pete] Ready.
[Sam] Okay, here he goes.
The dark wolf standing beside Sam blinked out of existence and, a moment later, there was a yelp from above. Coop came sailing out from the top of the kiosk, screaming at the top of her lungs, legs splayed and claws out as she fell towards Pete.
“I am gonna grind you up with my bite!” Griznack roared. “I am gonna pull the gold from your teeth and take the coin from your pockets!”
>> All hail the mighty Griznack!
Pete ignored the shouting mini boss and the blasting speakers, focusing all of his attention on the little white creature flying towards him from above. He braced himself as Coop came within range, pulling her to his chest and grimacing as four sets of claws dug into his torso.
“I’ve got you!” Pete said, stepping back from the kiosk as the wolf reappeared next to Sam.
Coop was shaking, a string of curses hissing from her mouth as she stuck to Pete’s body like a cat up a tree.
“Jesus, Coop! You can let go, you’re safe now!”
She looked up at him, eyes narrowed as though she intended to unload on him. Before she could let loose a tirade of abuse, however, the ground shook, and Pete caught sight of Griznack diving into the air, his bulk forming an improbably graceful shape as he dove headfirst into the asphalt, his whirring drill out front as though he was diving into water from high above. At the same time, the goblins gathered around him charged towards Sam and the wolf, weapons raised and voices screeching the name of their leader.
There was no time to do anything other than act. Pete knew he’d regret it, but he needed to blunt the enemy advance, and his best chance of doing that was currently clinging to his chest with sharp claws. Curiously, he noted that Coop hadn’t popped her shield. She must have been too scared out of her mind to think of it.
“Coop!” he shouted, pulling her back and receiving several painful scratches as a result. “Coop! You need to focus. Pop your shield!”
She was still staring in anger as he drew back his arm, twisted his hips, and threw her as hard as he could toward the oncoming enemy ranks.
“Fuuuuuuuuuck!” she screeched, careening through the air and toppling end over end.
The ground shook, and Pete stumbled as he tried to pull an arrow from his quiver. He saw a shroud of blue light emerge around Coop’s body a moment before she hit the charging Burrowers, and the resulting percussive burst looked a little like a bowling ball crashing into a cluster of pins.
There was no time to consider the result of the maneuver as the ground directly beneath Sam suddenly erupted, and Griznack lashed from below, sending Sam and the wolf flying into the air as great clods of dirt and cracked asphalt flew in all directions.
Pete was already running. He aimed at the enemy and shot an arrow, hoping that it would at least distract the giant figure. He couldn’t see Sam, but the wolf appeared directly in front of the towering goblin, teeth snapping as it tried to find something to attack in all that metal and scalding steam.
“I is Griznack, you mucky muck! I is come to chew you up with me chompers!”
The wolf was undaunted by the goblin leader’s taunts. It snapped at the brute, dodging aside each time it prodded or thrust his drill toward the creature.
Pete caught sight of Sam lying a short distance away on the other side of the kiosk. He couldn’t see how hurt she was, but Griznack raised a metal boot and stomped forward, heading directly toward her.
Twisting around, Pete aimed another arrow at the closest goblin. Coop was running around in circles, too fast for the goblins to track, as she kept their attention focused on her. Pete settled the arrow and held it for a moment, muscles straining.
It was hard to get a clean shot with all the goblins running around in circles, but he needed to be visible again, and that meant making another kill or getting Coop to send some money back into his wallet. Given the circumstances, Pete favored the first option. He chose his moments, holding the bow and trying to steady his breathing, and a moment before he fired, a message appeared.
>> NEW ABILITY
+| COINPIERCER [CHARGED SHOT]
Base Effect: Holding an arrow for 3 seconds charges it with Mammon. The shot gains +150% base damage and +20% armor piercing. On release, the archer chooses one of two firing modes:
+| LINE SHOT (Multi-Target)
Effect: Arrow becomes a glowing coin-spear, piercing through up to 3 enemies in a straight line, each struck for 120% base damage.
Stealth Bonus: If fired from stealth or against an unaware foe, the first target struck takes an additional +50 bonus damage, and all others take +10% increased damage.
+| DEBT COLLECTOR’S DRILL (Single-Target)
Effect: Arrow transforms into a condensed spiral of coin-energy that slams into one target for 200% base damage and +40% armor piercing, ignoring most of the target’s defenses.
Stealth Bonus: If fired from stealth, the strike becomes a guaranteed Critical Hit and applies “Wealth Wound” — an additional 8% of the target’s max health as True Damage over 5s.
ABILITY COST: 3-second draw hold + 10 Mammon
>> Note: The amount of damage, armor penetration, and the effectiveness of the Wealth Wound effect will be reduced when facing higher-level enemies such as bosses. All attack bonuses and percentages are based on enemies of the same or a lower level than the Penny Pincher.
Pete fired the shot, releasing it before he’d had a chance to completely read the spell ability information. The arrow glowed with gold and light as it shot into the cluster of Burrowers surrounding Coop. The arrow drove through the helmet of the closest goblin, the shoulder of a Burrower standing behind him, and through the eye of a third goblin unlucky enough to be standing in exactly the right position, or the wrong position from the goblin's perspective.
Two of the goblins fell dead instantly, with the third screeching and patting the steaming hole that had inexplicably appeared in his shoulder with a gloved hand.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: Multi-kill Madness!
Congratulations! You just killed two goblins with one shot and maimed a third just for the hell of it. Some might call it a lucky shot, and they would be absolutely correct, but either way you’ve just racked up two more kills and bolstered your legend among the goblin ranks. They may not know your name, they may not fear your face, but among the goblin hordes, whispers are beginning to emerge about the luckiest Ranger in all the land.
ACHIEVEMENT REWARD: +5 Archery, +1 Critical Strike Damage, +1 Stealth
KILL REWARD: 20 Belch Bucks
Pete noticed several things as he spun around and aimed a second charged shot at the monstrous form of Griznack. First, his mammon bar had shifted from a dull gray to a light blue. From what he could tell, a single Belch Buck had been deducted from those he’d just acquired and used to charge the mammon bar at the moment he’d fired the charged shot.
Second, that mammon bar was currently half-used up, meaning that he’d be able to use the Coinpiercer ability once more before having to wait for his mammon to recharge. Pete had no idea how long that would take, but Griznack was only a short distance from Sam, and she still hadn’t moved from her place on the ground, so he needed to fire another shot and get the big bastard’s attention ASAP.
He held the bow, waiting for three seconds to pass. Time seemed to slow to an interminable crawl as Griznack stomped toward Sam’s prone body, and Pete waited for his new ability to click into gear. The moment the charged shot ability registered, the arrow Pete had notched shone with silver light, and two icons appeared in his HUD, one showing an arrow hitting a single, large enemy, the other showing an arrow going through three smaller enemies.
He selected the first option, aimed for Griznack’s head, and fired. The arrow shot from his bow like a javelin, streaming brilliant golden light and warping the air around it with a strange heat haze. It hit the goblin boss in the side of the head, thudding into the metallic, helmet-like structure that wrapped around his skull.
Griznack stumbled to the side as the arrow flared with light and sent out a mini shockwave from the impact point. Staggered and utterly bemused as to the source of the attack, the brute spun around, no longer interested in Sam and focusing all of his rage on Pete.
The towering figure raised its drill hand to the side of its head, and the drill split apart, four sections dividing and pulling away to reveal a metallic hand within. Griznack reached up with that hand and grabbed hold of the arrow shaft. It looked like a toothpick held by those huge fingers, but when he tried to rip the arrow out, the shaft snapped in two, leaving the arrow embedded in his skull.
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“What you doing? You mucky muck!” Griznack roared, tossing the broken arrow shaft onto the ground as it turned to face Pete and started lumbering toward him. “What you thinking you are, mucky human?!”
Pete drew another arrow, checking his mammon levels, which were slowly rising. At a guess, it would take at least thirty seconds to fully recharge the bar, but he only needed half that time to use another charged shot.
“PETE!”
Coop’s voice drew his attention, and he turned to see her running from half a dozen Burrowers.
“I can’t shake them!”
“Just head to me!” he shouted, turning back to Griznack as the goblin leader raised his drill arm like a gun.
The large metal hand retracted and was replaced by a barrel that spun around like a Gatling gun. Steam started hissing from Griznack’s arm, and the barrel began to glow bright red as a stream of molten coins exploded from the weapon in a hail of death.
“Shit!” Pete blurted, triggering his Pauper’s Shield and running.
The road behind him shuddered with the impact of hundreds of red-hot coins peppering the asphalt, cracking the surface of the street and bouncing off in all directions. One of the coin projectiles shot directly at Pete’s torso, and his ward flared protectively, deflecting the molten coin and sending it ricocheting off the ground and into the skull of a nearby Burrower.
>> KILL REWARD: 5 Belch Bucks
The scene descended into utter chaos. Goblins ran to and fro as Griznack’s weapon scoured the area with deadly projectiles. The coins bounced off the road and clanged off metal cogs and other pieces of armor, eviscerating several of the Burrowers within the opening seconds of the barrage while Pete ran towards a nearby car and Coop sprinted across the road in an effort to meet him there.
He ducked down, sliding on the road and jarring his foot as he fell behind the minivan. Shrapnel tore through the body of the vehicle, hot metal sinking into the minivan’s interior where dozens of holes were punctured through its panels. Glass shattered, goblins screamed, and Coop jumped up into Pete’s lap, her eyes wide with fear.
“What do we do?!” she screamed.
There was no time to answer, and Pete had no idea what to say. The barrage continued, tearing through the minivan and causing it to buckle and shudder behind them. Pete had no idea how long the spray of lethal projectiles would last, but he reasoned that it couldn’t go on for much longer, surely. The question was, what the hell were they going to do to put this bastard down once the firing stopped?
Pete shuffled his coins to Coop and tried to calm himself. A moment later, the coin-spitting gun stopped.
“Okay, stay here,” Pete said. “Keep him focused on you, and I’m gonna try to get in close and do some damage.”
“What?! What kind of a plan is—”
“If he gets too close, use your shields and run. Just keep moving!”
Pete was already up and running before she could reply, legs pumping as he ran straight for Griznack, hoping that his stealth ability was actually working and that the big brute didn’t have some way to see through it. The charged shot to Griznack’s head had obviously been enough to shock the brute, but it hadn’t done significant damage. In the split seconds before the giant had begun firing its coin gun, however, Pete had seen something just behind the figure’s shield arm.
It might have been nothing. Perhaps it was just a trick of the light or simply a mechanical widget that was of no great importance, but the cluster of wires and pipes leading to the small golden case nestled beneath the shield suggested otherwise. If he could get in close enough and fire a charged shot directly into that box, Pete had convinced himself it would have to do some damage.
“I am coming for you, little squishy squish. You can’t hide behind no mucking vroom vroom!”
Pete ignored the taunt, moving at high speed towards the goblin boss. He caught sight of Sam lying on the ground beside the kiosk and thought he detected movement.
“Sam? You okay? You hurt?”
“I’m fine. I think I hit my head when I fell. Hurt like a bastard. Just gonna pop a medkit.”
Pete felt a flood of relief course through his system as he ran up beside Griznack.
“I’m gonna try and shoot this guy in the heart or at least hit something that might do some damage. Coop is behind the minivan over there. We could use some help with all the other goblins, just to keep them away from Coop.”
“I’m on it.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Pete saw the hellhound spring to life and charge into the back of one of the goblin Burrowers before it reached the van Coop was hiding behind. The wolf sent out a pulse of dark energy, howling a blood-curdling howl that caught the attention of every goblin in the area. Those that had been charging towards Coop shifted direction and focused their attention solely on the wolf.
Pete saw Sam get to her feet as he positioned himself in front of Griznack and drew back the bow. He waited for the three seconds to pass but found that he’d run too close to the goblin boss and Griznack was moving much faster than he had before.
[Pete] Shit! Bastard’s moving too fast!
[Sam] Hang on!
Pete watched as Sam brought her hands together, the expected sound of a clap strangely absent as something like semi-translucent chains burst from her fingers and shot towards Griznack. The chains wrapped themselves around the brute again and again, glowing with strange indigo power and slowing the giant figure considerably.
Griznack grunted, his shiny mouth twisting from a smile into a grimace as the chains pulsed every second and, presumably, sent a shock of pain through his body. Pete couldn’t tell whether the chains were actually doing any harm, but they were definitely slowing the goblin leader.
The problem was Griznack had turned to face Sam, which meant that Pete no longer had a clear line of sight to the area he needed to target.
[Pete] Coop! I need you to run at this guy. Get his attention and pull him around to my left.
[Coop] Are you mad? He’ll carve me up with that coin cannon of his.
[Pete] I can’t make the shot unless you do this, Coop. His gun is on a cooldown anyway, and you’ve got two shields.
[Coop] Doesn’t mean I want to go running towards death, now does it?
[Pete] COOP! For fuck’s sake!
[Coop] Fine! Keep your pants on!
Sweat poured from Pete’s brow as he strained to hold the arrow. His muscles were aching, and the arrow tip wavered as he fought to keep it pointed in the right direction.
>> SUPER CHARGE BONUS: Ultra threshold reached! 10% increase to damage for every additional second you hold the Coinpiercer ability.
He started breathing in short bursts, sucking in air and pushing it out in short staccato movements as he held the shot. Pete couldn’t see Coop darting out from behind the minivan and running directly for the goblin leader, but he did hear her scream and spotted a flash of white out of the corner of his eye as Griznack halted his advance on Sam and slowly spun around.
“Over here, you big green bastard!” Coop screeched. “I’ve seen outhouses patched together better than that metal scrap heap you call a body!”
The towering figure turned to face Coop, metallic eyebrows arching downward as his drill began to spin.
[Pete] Left, remember! I need him facing my left!
Coop didn’t reply, but she must have understood as she shifted direction and darted behind Pete, drawing the goblin leader's glinting eyes off in that direction. On the verge of exhaustion, muscles twitching, Pete focused all of his attention on Griznack’s shield. He waited, vision blurred by the tears of sweat as the small copper-plated box came into view, nestled behind the shield and tucked up close to the goblin leader's torso.
Pete fired, and instead of bolts of golden light, the arrow struck like lightning, blindingly bright and moving so fast that he couldn’t actually see the arrow’s trajectory. An eerie afterimage appeared along the path the arrow had taken as Griznack roared and stumbled backward, drill still spinning furiously.
The sound of twisting metal and spurting oil filled the air along with the violent hiss of steam as pieces of shiny copper were flung out from the goblin leader’s chest. The machine creature shuddered, bringing its shield protectively across its chest as Griznack continued to back away. He was looking left and right, still grinning that manic grin as he tried to find the source of the arrow.
To Coop’s credit, she sensed the opportunity and shifted direction, charging directly at him and popping one of her shields. Sam had noticed too and had redirected her hellhound to attack Griznack. The dark wolf leaped up onto his torso and tried to bite through some of the wiring and pipework running from the brute’s neck to its chest.
Arms still smarting from the effort of that shot, Pete turned to see the seven or so Burrower goblins that had been chasing Wolfy now turn and start running towards their leader. With not enough mammon to make another charged shot, he drew and fired three shots in rapid succession, aiming to hit and slow the enemy but without necessarily going for kill shots.
Two of the shots did no damage at all, ricocheting off armor and falling harmlessly to the ground. One took a goblin through the chest, however, killing the creature instantly and sending it collapsing into its companions, which had the fortunate effect of causing the entire group to fall over one another like cyclists caught in a tangle.
>> KILL REWARD: 5 Belch Bucks
As they got to their feet, an idea struck Pete.
[Pete] Sam! Give me all the money you can spend!
[Sam] Wha… Why?
[Pete] I’ve got an idea.
To her credit, she didn’t balk at the request. A thousand Belch Bucks landed in Pete’s wallet immediately, and he triggered his Rapid Coin Toss ability, spraying the goblin Burrowers with a flurry of high-speed projectiles as he ran toward the group.
The coins only did moderate damage but kept the goblins occupied as Pete ran toward them. Once he was close enough, he pulled the hobgoblin machete from his inventory and began hacking and slicing through the throng of Burrowers.
Disoriented by the burst of coin fire, the goblins were unprepared for a close-quarters attack. The heavier weight of the hobgoblin blade also assisted in helping Pete push aside their drills and pickaxes and allowed the cutting edge to slice into the grooves between sections of armor plating.
Sparks rose as Pete poured the remainder of his strength into the melee attack. It was exhausting but thrilling at the same time as he swung, thrust, and kicked out at the goblins, a sideshow bladed force of destruction in their midst. Where he couldn’t cut cleanly, Pete simply smacked goblins in the head or torso with the flat of the blade or even its sharp edge.
>> HEAVY MELEE FIGHTING PROFICIENCY +1
>> BRAWLING PROFICIENCY +1
There was something thrilling and visceral about fighting up close, surrounded by enemies on every side. It was sweaty, tiring, brutal work, but Pete found that there was a definite appeal to this kind of fighting. In contrast, while using the bow at range had been exhausting in its own way, there was something far more distant and controlled about fighting with that medium in contrast to slashing and kicking an enemy up close.
As he sliced through the neck joint of a piece of flimsy goblin armor, Pete reflected on the dilemma he would likely face when it came to choosing a soul-bound weapon. In all likelihood, he’d have to choose between a bow and arrow or a weapon like the machete. Part of him wondered what it would have been like if he’d picked up those daggers and used them in combination with his stealth ability.
He thrashed and cut and kicked at the road as the remaining goblins backed away. Chest heaving, sweat pouring from his body, Pete stared down at the machete, its tip resting against the ground, bright green blood dripping off its cutting edge.
It was as though he’d just emerged from a frenzied fit on some ancient battleground. Bodies lay strewn about, limbs twisted, twitching as blood spurted from savage wounds. Part of him remembered every cut and thrust, but another part had been caught up in some kind of fugue state as he fought.
The full realization of just how much energy he’d used in such a short space of time hit him like a jackhammer, dropping him to his knees as he hunched over the blade, holding its handle with both hands to keep himself upright.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: Budget Berserker!
Congratulations! You just went full Viking… except on goblins who looked like they were cosplaying knights with cookware strapped to their chests. Your frothing rage, coin-pinching howls, and wild flailing will be sung about in exactly zero mead halls. Still, five dead goblins are five dead goblins. Sk?l, bargain bin warrior!
>> ACHIEVEMENT REWARD: 50 Belch Bucks
CLASS REWARD: Budget Berserker Subclass Unlocked
KILL REWARD: 25 Belch Bucks
Somewhere in the back of Pete’s mind, he registered the class reward that had just been mentioned and made a mental note to ask Nero about it when they weren’t in the middle of a fight to the death against a mammoth goblin with a coin fetish. Grunting, he pushed himself to his feet and turned to face Griznack.
The goblin leader had recovered from his injury, it seemed, and now hunched behind his shield, frothing with anger and spitting insults as his eyes glinted towards Pete.
“I seein’ yous mucky muck! I is seein’ yous!”
Still sucking in breath, his chest heaving, Pete dropped the machete back into his inventory and started walking towards the brute.
“I am comin’ for you, mucky muck!” Griznack said as something began whirring just behind the figure, a sound like a jet engine starting to warm up.
Well, Pete thought, this is gonna hurt.