[Deceive, Extra]
“Come on McCracken, do you want it or not”
“Of course I want it. Rose. I’ve wanted it for a long time”
“You don’t look like you want it McCracken, you look rather soft McCracken.”
“I can get hard Rose, rock hard if that’s what you need.”
“It is McCracken, I need you as hard as you’ve ever been in your life.”
“I’m almost there Rose, I physically don’t think it’s possible to become harder than this.”
“Alright then, finish your cereal and let’s go, I’m telling you this is not going to be easy. The woman I have in mind for you, she’ll cut your heart. I should make you sign a waiver.”
“No waivers Rose, I trust you.”
“Alright then let’s get to Enigmatic Parchments and see what Sparky has to say about you.”
***
Inside the book store, Sparky sits on his regular stool.
“No I’m sorry Rose, Sophia is all wrong for McCracken. Think of someone else, maybe closer to home.”
“McCracken please go sit in the backroom while I fight with my mentor. Who, Sparky?”
“I’m not going to tell you who to cast in your story, I’m just trying to tell you who not to cast. Who else do you know that fits the general vibe, a little more sophisticated than Sophia.”
“I’m not asking Paula. Paula is off the table for many reasons. First she already told Talbert, no. Second she’s dating Eldara, appearing in a romantic storyline with a former ex would cause confusion and possibly issues with Eldara. There’s more reasons but those are the major ones.”
“No, not Paula, someone closer to home. Think Rose.”
“No, absolutely not, the girl just turned eighteen and has been traumatized. Frankly I’m disgusted that you even thought of her for him.”
“Close to home Rose, and of course not Ruby. Think Rose.”
“Well it’s not going to be Lu, Lu is mine and I’m not sharing her with McCracken. End of story.”
“Close to home Rose”
“Oh, I do love to subvert a trope but an eighty plus woman with a thirty something man just doesn’t strike me as realistic enough. Would the reader even buy that? I wanted the woman to be retired but I was thinking very successful, retiring in her forties not eighties. Do you think I could even pull that off and I’d have to get Talbert’s permission. I wonder if Martha would even want to do it.”
“You know for a genius you can be remarkably obtuse at times. Of course it’s not Martha you ninny.”
“Oh, no, I’m not that kind of author. I’ll never appear in one of my own stories, just what kind of narcissist do you take me for anyway?”
“Who do you keep forgetting in the tower?”
“Oh no, I did it again. Yes, that is an excellent idea. It’ll kill a few birds with one heart shaped stone.”
I concentrate into the black inky void, Gigi, Gigi, it’s Rose.
Yes Rose, where are you?
I’m at the book store. Would you like to be in a romantic heist-like story with McCracken, you did tell me you were Bi if I recall correctly?
Yes on both counts, I think it’d be very interesting to be in a romantic heist with Nathan, very interesting indeed. What do you want me to wear?
The sexiest nightgown you can imagine, while still keeping all your bits covered.
Rose you little minx, starting off the story hardcore, alright I’m wearing it, should I put on an overcoat and walk over.
No need, I just have to go in the back room then I’ll pull you over.
***
In the backroom of the book store, I’m sitting at my desk.
“Alright McCracken, from now on I’ll be referring to you as Nathan. I’ll give you the setup then put you into the story after you’ve given your consent. I already have the consent of the other main character. Basically you’ll be a very high end cat burglar. You target jewels and valuable works of art.”
“Are you alright with that so far?”
“Yes I’m getting Cary Grant vibes”
“Next the female lead is in her late forties but looks much younger.”
“That’s fine, age is just a number.”
“Lastly this is to be a romantic heist so some kissing, hugging, and possibly a little squeezing, that’s it on page. What you two do off page is entirely up to the two of you. Understand?”
“Yes, yes squeezing is as far as I go. I got it.”
“Alright, I’m going to stick you into the story just outside of the mansion you've currently targeted. The action will begin in just a moment.”
“Thanks for doing this Rose, this already way different from my experience in Paula’s book”
***
The Art Lover
Gigi sat on her very expensive couch, in her boy toy’s favorite nightgown, that showed off her assets to perfection. She heard the sound again, very faintly, anyone else would suspect a mouse scratching at something. But Gigi knew that sound intimately lock picks scrapping against her unpickable lock. She started counting by the time she’d hit ten the door popped open. This guy was good, almost as good as her, just his bad luck that he’d picked a master thief’s house to burgle.
Of course she was retired, and had been for ten years. Once she was so filthy rich as she is now there was just no point continuing there was no thrill in it, hadn’t been for years. Breaking into rich people’s houses became mundane; it was so effortless.
He crept down the hallway making not a sound, when he entered the living room he froze. Somehow he knew that there was someone in the room with him, some sense he wasn’t aware of which had fired a neuron that set off his intuition. So he wasn’t surprised when light flooded the room, and he saw the breathtaking beauty sitting on the couch with a gun pointed at his chest.
“Ma chérie you must believe, erroneously, that I’m here to rob you. I assure you I’m not. If I may be allowed to withdraw an envelope from my jacket.”
He slowly with his right hand pulls back his jacket so she can see that there is an envelope in the jacket pocket. Just like he said. With two fingers he pulls the envelope out.
“May I place this on the cocktail table, Gigi. I’m Nathen by the way. ”
How did he know that name, she hadn’t used it in ten years. The house, her cars, boats, bank accounts, everything was under the name Giulia Braun. If he had cased the place as he must have, he’d know the name Giulia. She’d already called the police. She either had to kill him where he stood or get him out of here this instant. She never wanted the police to hear the name Gigi associated with her decadent life as Guilia.
“You have less than thirty seconds to get out of here, I called the police ten minutes ago, just after you disabled the alarm.”
When the police arrived five minutes later. She was wrapped in a warm fuzzy robe with slippers now on her bare feet, with the mysterious envelope in the robe pocket. It wouldn’t be wise to let the police have a look at the card, at least it felt like a card. Without knowing exactly what that card said and by what name she was addressed by.
The police asked what had scared off the thief. She told them, it must have been the light she’d switched on, when she called them. She lied and stated that she’d remained upstairs until she saw their car pull up in front of her house. They wanted to know if anything was taken. She looked around as if she were assessing the room and told them no nothing. They asked if she’d like to have a police officer posted out front until the alarm company could repair the alarm. She declined stating that the alarm company had promised to arrive within the hour and she was sure the thief was long gone.
Finally they were gone. She opened the envelope and pulled out an invitation. Gigi please meet me tomorrow at 1 at the Le Louis XV - Alain Ducasse. The most exclusive restaurant in Monaco.
She had to go, she should have shot him where he stood hours ago. Now she was about to be blackmailed, or she could liquidate everything and run. But she had a comfortable life here and certainly didn’t want to start running. Once she started that, that’s how she’d have to live until the day she died.
So she’d go and eat the finest of meals and see exactly what this blackmailer wanted. She’d also bring the gun, there would be a limit to how far she allowed herself to be pushed.
She climbed into her jaguar and roared off for Monaco, dressed in classic business attire. Her go bag as a precaution in the trunk. The valet caught the tossed keys as she walked into the hotel. As she approached the restaurant the ma?tre d' spied her, left the crowd standing at his desk and escorted Gigi to a private table. She informed him that she was meeting a business associate who was due at one. Please escort him to her table when he arrives.
At two she stood up and left. It made no sense, he breaks in, in the middle of the night. Subtly threatens her by calling her Gigi, repeats the threat in the invitation. Then he doesn’t bother to show. No sense at all.
The click of the light switch woke her, there he was in the doorway to her bedroom. Right by the light switch.
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to know why you stood me up. I waited a half hour, then came here to find you asleep.”
“I didn’t stand you up, I told the ma?tre d' a business associate who was meeting me but you never arrived, I waited until two.”
“Ma chérie, you arrogant American, why have you never even tried to be assimilated into French society. What time is it?”
“Two a.m. in the morning.”
“What time will it be twelve hours from now, Gigi?”
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
“Two p.m. in the afternoon.”
“Maybe in America, but in France it’s fourteen hundred. Yesterday I gave you an invitation for one tomorrow, that was an hour ago. I had a wonderful date planned. We were going to break into Le Louis XV - Alain Ducasse and make ourselves a wonderful dinner while drinking fabulous french wine. I wanted it to be a memorable first date. I thought that I’d arranged the most imaginative meet cute, last night. You certainly dressed the part, most ravishing. Could we please go downstairs and take a look at them.”
“At what?”
“The paintings Ma chérie. Maybe we could have a glass of wine while viewing them.”
“What paintings?”
Still Life with Candlestick by Fernand Léger, Woman with a Fan by Amedeo Modigliani, Olive Tree near Estaque by Georges Braque, La Pastorale by Henri Matisse, Le Pigeon aux Petits Pois by Pablo Picasso
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“They’re downstairs in the secret room. You’ve had them to yourself for fifteen years, Gigi.”
“You're crazy.”
“Wait till you hear what I have planned for the second date. Before you start calling me crazy.”
“What’s the plan for the ‘second date’”
“Two Rembrandts, Two Vermeer and one Millet”
“From the Boston robbery?”
“The very same.”
“And you’ve found them.”
“I have.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Yet I found you, and yours and you have been much more careful than the swine who has those. Is it really so hard to believe?”
“Who has them?”
“MM Moreau of Monaco, not even a dozen miles from here. We could liberate them together.”
“You really are crazy.”
“Not in the least, I have this planned perfectly.”
“That’s the heist trope isn’t it. First quarter is the setup, next half the planning, final quarter all hell breaks loose.”
“Except it won’t. I’ll tell you what, I don’t really need your help for this second date. I can handle it myself. It’s the third date that’s tricky, I can’t do it by myself. If I walk in here tomorrow night with those five paintings, then you agree to a third date with me, Ma chérie. You know what happens on the third date, sweaty palms, nerves and skinny dipping after the date is through. Gigi might I have a good night kiss, just in case I’m wrong and you are right about the heist trope. It’d be a shame if I died before I got to kiss you. Besides, I don’t want to wait for a ‘Hollywood Ending’.”
Then they kissed, and kissed and kissed a little more, he really really wanted to squeeze that luscious arse but restrained himself. That’s what an experienced woman can kiss like, he thought. MMMmm, the boy toy can’t kiss anything like that, nope nothing like that, I wonder why he stopped?
Gigi spent the day trying to make up her mind, should she move her stolen art or just let the deception play out. Her stalker was smart but if he really thought it’d be easy to steal the five most expensive paintings in the world then waltz back into her house for a kiss and a third date. How could the third date possibly top tonight’s heist. She put a bottle of Champagne on ice and put two glasses on the cocktail table where three nights ago he’d slipped her the invitation. He’d called her an arrogant American, but he’d deliberately made that invitation obtuse leading her to being stood up, then breaking into her house for the second time in as many nights. I’m sure he wanted to scold me for having such an insecure house. Shouldn’t a thief more than anyone know how to keep another thief out of their house?
It was nearly one, she really ought to go to bed. He was either caught, dead or in police custody or’d made up that entire story. Instead she put on her nicest nightgown, went back to her couch and opened the champagne. She’d just started on her second glass, when she heard the click at the front door. He walked into the living room like he owned the place and if he really had those ‘five’ paintings he could own three or four mansions.
“Champange just the thing, can we store these in your secret room till the third date.”
“Not until I get a look at them, and make sure you’re not a scam artist.”
“Could a scam artist get around your security, as if it wasn’t there? Even if they could, why tip their hand? You don’t get it yet, I’m here for you, the artwork is just the foreplay. But just to reassure you, use these gloves and examine all five. Here’s a lighted magnifying glass as well. I wanted to make sure he hadn’t hung forgeries but he didn’t.”
I took the tubes to the dining room and put on the gloves, I examined each of the paintings, they were genuine each and every one of them. He stood in the dining room doorway, sipping champagne, with a stupid smirk on his face.
“You didn’t have any trouble stealing these?”
“Not a bit Ma chérie, as I said, it took a little longer because I couldn’t believe the swine would hang the originals. So I really took my time on each piece making sure they were genuine. That was the biggest problem of the night. Could we store these away and make out for a little while before I leave.”
“You are trusting me with a half billion worth of art that you just stole.”
“Yes of course, I told you the artwork was foreplay, I’m here for you. I was trying to impress you, but it seems I’ve failed. First I’m a scam artist, now what a con man, because I trust you? Can we please make out for a little while? I might do a little squeezing tonight if I have your consent.”
First we put the five paintings in the secret room and he admired my fakes, but he didn’t use the magnifying glass to confirm their authenticity. We went back out to the living room, dimmed the lights and started kissing. He really really was quite good at it, just about the time I was about to invite him upstairs. He stopped, it appeared that it took him great effort to do so. I was wishing that he hadn’t. He stood up, grabbed me in his arms again, kissed me thoroughly, while caressing my bottom. Then he forced himself away from me and actually held me at arms length.
“Ma chérie, tomorrow is our third date, I can’t wait for nightfall, what say I pick you up at noon and we take a little trip. I promise to make our third date the most memorable third date of your life and more exciting than your life has been in the last twenty years? Please say yes Gigi, please?”
“Casual or dressy?”
“Both, wear casual clothes for the trip and bring dressy clothes in an overnight bag.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Suddenly I was exhausted, so I went upstairs. He’s the most exciting, aggravating man I’d ever met. Why didn’t he just bed me when he had the chance. He’s right about one thing, at least I haven’t felt this alive in years. I slept like the dead.
***
Too much champagne and excitement so I slept till noon. I only had an hour to prep, I usually enjoyed taking my time, I’d just finished throwing some things in my overnight bad when I heard the vehicle on the stone drive. He took my bag from me and escorted me to the passenger seat and put my bag in the back.
“So where are you sweeping me off to?”
“Paris.”
“Why Paris?”
“For the most exciting night of your life.”
“Inflated ego much?”
“Ma chérie, if at noon tomorrow you do not agree that tonight was the most exciting night of your life. I promise you’ll never see me again. But if you agree that it was then for the next thirty days you are mine. You are the judge. I trust that you’ll be fair.”
***
The drive went by quickly. It was around ten p.m. when we pulled into Paris, Nathan handed me a plastic bag.
“Please get in the back and change into this. We’re almost there. He got out and made a phone call, and stripped off his clothes. I watched him from the back seat, then put on the body suit as he asked. He had a similar black body suit on, that he’d given me. He walked around to the back of the Landrover and came back with two pairs of nylon and rubber pants. If you’d just put these on please. We can drive the rest of the way, I think we’ll have a five or ten minute wait.”
“Nathan, where are we going and what are we going to do?”
“Where going to the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris”
“For the most original heist in history.”
“What are we stealing?”
“Nothing Gigi, we’re returning, that's what makes it the most original heist in history.”
“I called in a bomb and poison gas attack, we walk in wearing our self-contained breathing apparatus. Drop the tanks and we’re done. Easy peasy.”
“Why go to all this trouble?”
“It’s our third date and I wanted to impress you. You’ve lived one of the most exciting lives ever. Netflix and chill was never going to cut it with you.”
I started to laugh, Nathan really was crazy.
It all went down just as he said. There were hundreds of first responders milling about, as soon as the firemen started entering, we put down our face shields so that we couldn’t be identified. We walked into the building entering the first restroom. Nathan helped me take the tank off my back and placed it on the sinks, then he did the same with his tank. Then we walked out.
We went back to the Land Rover. Nathan asked me to get into the back and change while he changed behind the truck. He grabbed my bag, and we drove a few blocks away. Then walked the remaining four blocks to the H?tel de Crillon. We put on our dress clothes and went out to enjoy the Paris night life.
Then it was back to our suite where we made good use of the jacuzzi and the heart shaped bed. Nathan was up before me and as soon as I’d opened my eyes
He asked. “So was last night the most exciting night of your life or am I walking out of your life this morning?”
“Yes, it was the most exciting night of my life.”
He laughed. “Yes, for at least thirty days that derrière is mine, no take backs.”
“What are you ten years old?”
“No that’d be gross, we’re about to have sex again and that’d make you a pedo.”
“We climbed out of bed four hours later starving, so we dressed and headed for the bistro on the corner.”
“I noticed the headline at the newsstand on the way to the bistro. I bought a copy to regal Nathan with our adventure over breakfast.”
I started to read the story to Nathan. “Police were shocked to discover ten paintings, stolen years ago believed to be worth close to a billion dollars. Art historians are speaking out in praise of the Robin Hoods the police believe left the art at the museum.”
“What did you do Nathan?”
“I gave you the most exciting night of your life, and I thought this morning was pretty great too, especially that second time.”
“Why did you do it?”
“It’s my job Ma chérie, I track down stolen art and then turn in the thief to the police. But I couldn’t do that to you. So I tried to figure out a way out of this. I couldn’t turn the art in for the twenty percent finder fee without exposing who had the stolen merchandise. I could have done that to MM Moreau, I would have happily taken the hundred million reward. But then I wouldn’t get you to return your five paintings.”
“You gave up one hundred million dollars for me?”
“Of course and remember no take backs.”
The End
“So do you think she’d forgive him?”
“If a man did something like that for me, I’d forgive him in a heart beat. Besides she still has the copies, the only thing she looks at anyway. Now those copies can go on the living room walls.”
“McCracken you alright, you look kind of shocked, did you hate it?”
“No, of course I didn’t hate it. But you told me I was a high end burglar.”
“Right you were, you stole five hundred million dollars worth of art, that’s a pretty great burglar. Look I even warned you I always seem to mistreat my male characters. I was trying to make you a hero.”
“Thank you Rose, this was so much fun. I want to do this again. Gigi, do you want to do it again?”
“Yeah I told Rose the last time I wanted to work with her again and this experience was even better than the last. Can we Rose?”
“Sure, I’ll need to think about how to do it for a few days, I’m not sure if we’ll do a sequel or an entirely new setup. You guys really have chemistry together. So you two think about it as well and then talk it over together to see what you want and let me know.”
“Gigi to go get tea with me we can talk it over.”
“I’d love to Nathan.”
