[Agree, Friend]

  “Well what did you think, Sparky?”

  “Rose, I think you must really like him.”

  “I do, he can be annoying, but so can I so I guess we’re evenly matched. You were right about Gigi, she’s much more sophisticated than Sophia. Therefore a better match with McCracken. So did I finally create a likeable male character?”

  “No sorry Rose you didn’t.”

  “How can you say that, you didn’t think he was likeable? Why not?”

  “No he’s very likeable, but you didn’t create him did you?”

  “No you’re right again, Talbert created him.”

  “Speaking of Talbert, she asked me about co-writing a short story or novella.”

  “No, not right now. You’re just finding your voice. If you co-wrote it right now your voice would be drowned out by Talberts. Besides, you love to subvert don’t you?”

  “Yes”

  “Would you be comfortable subverting Talbert’s work?”

  “No I would not.”

  “Alright, when you can honestly tell me you’d be comfortable subverting her work, then I’ll endorse your co-writing. I think it’ll help you see your own strengths and weaknesses better and it’s always nice to see other people’s creative process. Now go get me three dozen donuts and whatever the senior apprentice would like. When you come back let’s have you interview some male characters. Strike while the iron is hot. If you agree that McCracken is likeable just possibly you’ll find your own like male character.”

  “Opal honey, would you like a sweet bun?”

  “Yes please, Rose.”

  ***

  The tea house was full and Ruby and Salome were both waiting on customers when I arrived. Henry had a book and an extra seat next to him so he waved me over.

  “Hi Henry, how are you this morning?”

  “Wonderful Rose, it’s such a beautiful day and this is such a pleasant place to sit and read. I’ll really miss doing this in the winter.”

  Ruby brought me a cup of Jasmine tea, a dozen sweet buns and three dozen donuts

  “You’ll still be able to sit here and read in the winter, Henry. Sparky extended the bakery's magical field for Ruby and Salome. So you can sit here and read all day in a blizzard and be just as comfortable as you are right now. What are you reading?”

  “ "Guns, Germs, and Steel" by Jared Diamond I was struck by our conversation the other day about a war between the Earth and Emain Ablach. I’m afraid you underestimate the power of the earth’s technology.”

  “Henry what wins in a fight. Technology or Magic?”

  “I’d say technology, because it has won almost every fight on earth. Each advancement steadily leads to the terrible weapons that the nations deploy against each other.”

  “Are you familiar with Arthur C Clarke the science fiction author and scientist? On one of his book covers it says that he helped make satellite technology possible. He said "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" So if you take that to mean our magic is just super advanced technology now who do you think would win?”

  “I see your point. It's just if the Earth leaders saw the potential for having that power, they’d likely send in strike forces to obtain it.”

  “Alright, let’s say they send in an army to attack. What would that army do if suddenly their country ceased to exist. Would they continue to attack or would they sue for peace and return through the portal?”

  “If you have the power to destroy entire countries they’d sue for peace, they’d have no choice.”

  “Well, there you go, nothing to worry about. If any country attacks us I’ll just go take out that country.”

  “Rose, you'd seriously go to Earth and kill hundreds of millions of people.”

  “No I wouldn’t kill anyone, I’d never purposely hurt anyone. First I’d make myself invincible like superperson except no green rock weakness. Then I’d float every employee of the government one hundred feet in the air and look for whoever was in charge and jump them back here and have them order their army to turn around and go home. I think that would be the least violent approach. If a violent Bibliomancer was sent to suppress an attack, he could force the army to attack its own people. Kill all the government employees. Destroy a city, state or country or the whole world if they changed the moon’s orbit a little bit it’d spiral in until it crashed into the Earth. Hopefully a decent Bibliomancer would prevent that from happening. If someone like Sparky went he’d probably just turn off electricity in that country and then their technology wouldn’t work anymore in that country. So you have nothing to worry about, you and Martha are safe here I promise.”

  “Wow I had no idea you were so powerful, I’m glad you're on our side, Rose.”

  “I’d never allow my friends to be hurt if I could do something about it, Henry.”

  “I have to get Sparky’s and Opal’s breakfast back to the book store, he’s going to kill me for being gone so long. Enjoy your book.”

  ***

  “Ah look who’s finally brought our supper Opal, even though we sent her for breakfast.”

  “I’m sorry sweetie, here’s your sweetbun, would you like some tea?”

  “Yes please.”

  “Sparky, here’s your three dozen donuts and eleven sweetbuns, would you like some tea?”

  “MMmhhmm”

  “Okay, two teas coming up.”

  ***

  I settled at my desk in the back room. I stared into the blackness of the void. Hello, hello, I’m looking for a male character who might like to be in a story hello, hello.

  “Hello ma’am I’m Ryder Fontaine.”

  “Hello Ryder, please call me Rose. Tell me what do you do for work Ryder?”

  “Right now ma’am, I’m a Body Guard for a tech company CEO.”

  “Do you enjoy that Ryder?”

  “It’s alright, ma’am, it can be a little boring standing around while my client is in constant meetings. It’s better when we move out of the office, more opportunity to protect the client from a variety of threats.”

  “Ryder, please call me Rose okay?”

  “Yes, Rose.”

  “Good, what did you do before becoming a body guard?”

  “I was a navy seal”

  “Did you like that?

  “Yes I did very much, except for the traveling. My parents are getting older and need help, I’d often be away for weeks or months at a time. So when it came time to reup I decided not to.”

  “What about before the navy? School?”

  “My family lives in a People of Color art collective. All the kids of the collective are home schooled.”

  “Did you find it strange going from such a free spirited community to such a disciplined life?”

  “No ma’am, I think that I craved discipline. I think that’s the reason I signed up. My parents were dead set against it, but I just thought that I was protecting them.”

  “What’s your main goal in life, if you could do anything?”

  “I’d like to help people.”

  “That’s a great goal Ryder, who do you think instilled that in you?”

  “My parents Rose, that’s the way they’ve always lived. Helping others, the art colony and just other people in general.”

  “It’s wonderful that you had that kind of upbringing, Ryder.”

  “Yes it was, but I didn’t appreciate it at the time. I wanted to go to a regular school and play sports. My parents insisted on a more progressive approach to education.

  “Ryder, what type of role would you be suited for in a story, or would you really like to try?”

  “I could play a Seal, a body guard, any kind of guard really, police officer, beat cop, some kind of sports story even though I don’t have much experience with them.”

  “What about a mystery plot, do you like mysteries, puzzles?”

  “I do like to read mysteries because they're interesting, but I never really solve them in the books. I’m almost always surprised.”

  “That’s the way it’s supposed to be if the author did a good job. Thanks for talking with me Ryder and if I can think up a plot for your skill set I’ll contact you again.”

  “Thank you Rose it was very nice meeting you, I hope we get to speak again.”

  ***

  Looking into the blackness I call out hello, hello I’m looking for a male character might want to appear in a story hello, hello

  “Well hello there babe, I am Cormac Morales, it’s my pleasure to meet you.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you Cormac, my name is Rose. What do you do for a living Cormac?”

  The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  “I’m a Greenpeace Eco Warrior, I put my body in between harpoon guns and whales, we believe in peaceful physical intervention.”

  “Wow, that’s very impressive, where do you work from?”

  “I’m mostly on the road, or the ocean rather. Traveling all over the world.”

  “With such an important and busy job, what makes you want to be a character in my story?”

  “Have you ever read the Wandering Inn web novel?”

  “Yes I love The Wandering Inn, it's one of my favorites, Cormac.”

  “Well you know how Erin has that No Killing Goblins sign, Rose?”

  “Yes, the fact that she’s willing to defend a ‘monster race’ is what initially drew me to the story. Her character ‘Rags’ is one of my favorites. The writer Pirateaba is amazing, I’m so impressed with the quality and sheer quantity of story they have delivered. But what does that have to do with you being in my story?”

  “Well Rose, I was thinking I could ditch the boat. Come on land and put myself in between the goblins and their enemies. Keeping them from getting killed. Just like I do in Greenpeace, cool right. My grandfather was one of the founding members of Greenpeace. But he’d have to be impressed if he saw me saving goblins. I mean whales can sing but goblins can talk. That’d be way more impressive than whales don’t you think?”

  “Well I couldn’t write that Cormac, Rags is Pirateaba’s character. I could never use her characters in my stories. There in their own ongoing story right now. You understand that right?”

  “Well they don’t have to be her goblins, they could be anyone's, or your own.”

  “But that’s her storyline, at least one of her storylines, I wish I knew how she kept such a big story straight in her mind. But no, I couldn’t do a story like that. Sorry.”

  “Alright, they don’t have to be goblins, let's do a story where I stand between Orcs and their enemies. I don’t know if Orcs can talk or not, I hope they can talk or at least sing.”

  “Cormac, I can’t do a storyline like that. That would just be copying their work and I won’t do that.”

  “Well isn’t that what Pirateaba did, they copied Greenpeace’s work.”

  “Cormac, I don’t know what inspired the idea, maybe it was Greenpeace, maybe it was the Freedom Rides, maybe it was the way Native Americans were treated, maybe it’s the way immigrants are treated, maybe it came to them in a dream. It doesn’t matter how it came to be, it exists, that's all that matters. Have you tried to contact them directly?”

  “Yes I emailed them and left lots of comments on their blog and I posted on the reddit sub. Can’t you contact them for me?”

  “No I’m sorry Cormac, I wouldn’t have any more luck than you have.”

  “Don’t you know them, you both have web novels.”

  “Well not all of us know each other Cormac, I’m sorry to say I do not know Pirateaba. But if you do happen to speak with them please tell them I’m a big fan. Any chance that you’d want to do any other type of story.”

  “Like what Rose?”

  “How about you're hired by a king to save a princess from a dragon.”

  “Do I have to hurt the dragon?”

  “No, absolutely not.”

  “I’d definitely be a protector, though right. I was born and raised to do it. I just want to widen my horizons a little from just boats and whales.”

  “Okay, let’s get started. It’s going to begin on a plateau.

  ***

  The Dragon

  Cormac was five minutes late. It wasn’t his fault. No one told him that a princess was due to be sacrificed to a dragon today. He’d never even heard of such a barbaric custom. He’d stopped at the local church looking for a quest. That's when the peasant told him that their virgin princess was dragged to the Aryie Plateau dressed in a flimsy robe and chained spread eagle between two posts.

  Cormac ascended the worn stone steps, as fast as he could. But the armor was weighing him down and the thin air made it almost impossible to breathe. By the time he reached the summit of the plateau he saw the two ancient stone posts, lengths of chains still swinging, by the sides of the posts.

  He must have just missed her. With horror he approached the posts, hoping to retrieve at least a part of her body so that her family could have a proper funeral ceremony and honor the girl for her sacrifice. But there was no sign of blood, let alone body parts, and he examined the chains. Somehow the dragon had unlocked the cuffs.

  Cormac thought just maybe the princess still lived. Maybe the dragon wasn’t hungry yet. He needed to find this dragon den, he had a princess to save. He raced back to the stairs and took them two at a time. But after nearly falling and rolling to his death twice he decided a live paladin would be more useful to the virgin princess than a dead one. So he slowed his pace taking the worn and slippery stairs one at a time.

  At the bottom of the plateau he reentered the village looking for a witness. He needed to know which direction the dragon had gone in. It seemed most of the villagers had paid little attention to the princess or the dragon. One villager recalled a princess dressed in rags and chains being dragged screaming through the village. Another had heard the flapping of wings and the rattling of chains but hadn’t looked up as he was trying to tally the day’s profits and his figures weren’t adding up correctly. Cormac cursed him for the worthless subject he was.

  Finally he found a woman who’d witnessed the dragon’s flight. She saw the dragon approach and land on the plateau. A few minutes later she saw the giant beast take flight, with a woman in its right talon waving both arms and legs. She said the great beast flew straight as an arrow to the north. He mounted his horse and gave his morning prayer to Vesta, his goddess and the source of his power.

  Vesta answered his prayer immediately, his armor shone a golden hue and his war horse gave a spurt of speed as they were on a quest to save a virgin. After a while the glow faded from the armor, and the war horse tired. But as they went, Comac could see mountains in the distance, with some dark spaces, perhaps the dragon's lair would be in one of those spots.

  Cormac just hoped the princess would be safe until he got to the lair and could somehow save her. They only stopped once by a spring for his war horse to drink and he to relieve himself. Then it was back in the saddle and on towards the mountains again. They were getting closer and it felt painfully slow. The princess must be saved. He lived to save and protect the innocent and you don’t get more innocent than a virgin princess.

  The war horse brought him to the base of the lofty mountains. There was a little town here. He asked a man if a dragon resided on the mountain. The man said it did. What looked like possible caves from a distance were actually giant boulders whose shadows he’d mistaken for cave. So began the slow ascent. More than once he’d had to turn back from a chosen route because boulders created dead end canyons. The war horse continued on but the pace was slow, the sun was getting lower. Cormac hoped the dragon dined fashionably late. He heard the wolves howl for the first time.

  He wondered why a king and queen would allow their daughter to be treated in such a barbarous manner. They must not have heard Vesta’s holy word. Well after he saved another virgin for Vesta he planned to give that king and queen a talking to. They’d hear Vesta’s holy word from him, personally.

  Finally the war horse came to a stop at a talus slope, knowing that it could not ascend further. Cormac dismounted and started up the slope, proceeding carefully as the footing was a treacherous mass of rocks that moved or slid when weight was applied. Yet Cormac ascended. He’d made a vow not to rest until the quest was complete. The wolves howled, he hated leaving his horse, vulnerable to the wolf pack. But he had no choice, his quest to save the virgin was sacrosanct.

  He fell numerous times, his footing not given purchase but the traitorous rocks. Still he went on. He loved his Goddess more than life itself. Finally he saw the cave, it must be the dragon’s lair. It was about fifty meters ahead. He also saw great numbers of cattle bones. Cattle must be its regular diet when it doesn’t have sweet succulent princesses to feast upon.

  The rock scree was so bad he was forced to crawl on all fours to make any progress at all. He started his evening prayer to Vesta and his armor began to glow. As he crawled the last few meters he repeated his prayer the glow deepened the armor literally shone now, he was out of the scree back onto his feet. He charged into the cave and he could hear a woman's high pitch scream. The tunnel wound down and Cormac charged down.

  After a fifty meter run the tunnel opens up into a glowing gold cavern. A gigantic Red Dragon towered over the princess. It looked angry.

  Cormac yelled. “Princess get back, I'll slay the beast.”

  “Oh, great, first a slutty princess, now a witless paladin. STOP.” The dragon roared.

  Cormac was frozen by the dragon’s magic spell.

  “Paladin, why are you here?”

  “To save the Virgin Princess for Vesta.”

  “You're too late.”

  “You violated her, I’ll kill you”

  “No I didn’t violate her, you great dolt. Look at the size of me, that wouldn’t be physically possible. I swear you religious fanatics are all crazy. She came previolated.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I can smell virginity, all dragons can. You’re a virgin, she is not. Every hundred years we need a virgin to pee on our eggs, or the young will not grow to be strong and virile. She was going to sully my eggs by weeing on them with her non virginal wee. Take her and get out the two of you. Wait, does Vesta have any virgin princess that I could borrow for a little bit. I’ll return her in perfect condition.”

  “Are you really sure she’s not a virgin?”

  “I’m positive, but don’t you have some way to tell, a spell or a prayer.”

  “Well sort of when a virgin is brought before Vesta’s altar the girl must vow that she is a virgin. I guess we could do that here. Do you have a few large slabs of stones we could set up?”

  “Sure”

  The dragon lifted these massive stone slabs one in each claw and placed them in the center of the cavern.

  “Alright princess, climb up onto the altar please.”

  “Now take off the rags, you can lay on them.”

  “Why does she have to be naked?” The dragon asked.

  “I don’t know, the priests always said it was necessary not gratuitous nudity. Oh, and if they lie during their vows the pillar of fire is more easily contained if they are naked.”

  “What pillar of fire,” asked the princess.

  “Vesta is the virgin goddess, if a non virgin takes a vow to Vesta they go up in a pillar of flame, and serve Vesta in the afterlife. Okay, princess just take off the rags and lie down and this will all be over in a few minutes.”

  “Wait define virgin.”

  “A virgin is a person who’s never had relations with another person.”

  “Wait when you say person you mean man, right?” the princess asked.

  “Well a man is a person.”

  “But what about a girl?”

  “Yes, of course a girl is a person.”

  “But she told me girls don’t count.” the princess said.

  “They count to Vesta, dragon do they count to dragons.”

  “Of course they count, a person is a person.”

  “Well what am I supposed to do now?” the princess asked.

  “Whatever you want but you can’t stay here, I still need to find a virgin princess for my eggs.”

  “Dragon, when I say my evening prayers I will pray that Vesta lets one of her virgins wee on your eggs.”

  “Thanks paladin, you’re an alright guy.”

  “You're a much nicer dragon than I expected. Goodbye and good luck with the brood.”

  “Paladin, what about me?”

  “I’m sorry, goodbye and good luck princess.”

  “No, I meant can I come with you, will you take me somewhere safe and protect me.”

  “I’m sorry princess, I’m only allowed to be amongst virgins.”

  “What if I pray to Vesta and ask her to restore my virginity. The gods can perform miracles right.”

  “They say in the old days the gods were always performing miracles, but they don’t seem to be so proactive these days.”

  “Maybe they’re just tired, I have days like that,” said the dragon.

  The princess fell to her knees. “Oh Vesta, please I was deceived please restore my virginity.”

  Cormac’s armor began to glow.

  “Oh Vesta, please I was deceived please restore my virginity.”

  The glow deepened.

  “Oh Vesta, please I was deceived please restore my virginity. Please.”

  She asked the dragon, “Was it restored?”

  He took a sniff, and shook his head no. “Sorry princess.”

  He wondered why my armor glowed like that when the princess prayed. He wished them both good luck and started for the tunnel. He could hear the princess following behind him. Soon he was back to the scree, sliding down the mountain in a mini avalanche of rocks. He was glad he had that armor on to protect him from the falling stones.

  He felt bad for the princess trying to get down that treacherous slope. He heard her behind him. Then the wolf pack howled.

  “Wait please, help me don’t leave me to die on this mountain.”

  He heard her sit down in despair. But he couldn’t help her. He’d set out on a quest to save her. He would have saved her and brought her to Vesta’s altar if she had been pure enough. It wasn’t her fault, she was tricked but Vesta was very clear. Her rules are carved in stone in her temple.

  She might still have a life if she makes it to the little town at the foot of the mountain. Every town needs a tavern and every tavern needs serving wenches. When I ask Vesta to send a virgin to the dragon I’ll ask her to help the princess down the mountain. Vesta might help you never know but for a paladin rules were rules. He was a good man. A Lawful Good Man.