[Punish, Poverty]

  Nicole, the leader of the bible study group, had a much nicer home than my bungalow on the edge of the swamp. Even the tap water was better, while I washed my hands, I noticed that there was no sulfur odor emanating from the water. Weird you’d expect that houses close to each other would be sharing water from the same supply, unless we were on wells.

  “Nicole, you have a lovely home, it’s much nicer than my bungalow.”

  “Thank you, Jaq, everyone starts in a bungalow and as your commitment to our lord grows, you can get upgraded housing. But is what Peter said true? Heaven has been destroyed.”

  “Physically it was fine the last time I was there a few days ago, but the person managing it, Elias, left when the workers found out they were being scammed by him. They also refused to work any longer.”

  Just then more of the bible study people arrived. Some seemed to be very well dressed and some wore neat and clean but threadbare clothing. Nicole asked me to get up and introduce myself to the group.

  “Hi, my name is Jaq, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope we can all become friends. Just so you know, I’m a lesbian and an agnostic. ”

  A well dressed young woman from the group jumped up “Romans 1:26-27: "For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

  Psalm 14:1: "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.' They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.""

  Nicole stood up. “Yes thank you Cheryl, you do indeed know your scripture but we have a few other issues to address.”

  Cheryl stood up and looked around the group, “What issue is more important to a Bible study group than the Bible itself?”

  “Cheryl, I was about to address them, first we have the vote tonight for the assembly person, if you’d like to be considered for election please raise your hand.”

  Cheryl’s hand shot up like a rocket headed to heaven, another hand went up from an older lady in the back. I already disliked Cheryl, she reminded me of all those greasy TV preachers you see on late, late night TV, that always cause me to throw things at the TV, like the one who ran for president and claimed to heal people live on TV.

  “Alright Mindy and Cheryl would both like the position, let’s say you each have five minutes to explain to the group why they should vote for you. Both of you please come up to the front of the room and I’ll flip a coin to see who goes first.”

  Mindy lost the toss and was the first to speak.

  “If I win the election, the things I’d like to accomplish while I’m in office is fix the water supply, so many of the homes in my neighborhood have foul smelling and tasting water. The other issue I’d like addressed are the buses, all of the buses that I have observed all seem to discharge lots of smoke. Often I get headaches after breathing it in for any length of time.”

  There was some light scattered clapping, which I joined in. Two reasonable issues to see addressed, if I get to vote, I’ll vote for her.

  “Thank You Mindy, now Cheryl, you have five minutes”

  “Thank you Nicole, I’d have one issue more than any other I wish to accomplish. I want my family to live in a safe supportive Baptist neighborhood, but the government keeps putting Mormons and Roman Catholics in empty housing whenever it’s convenient for them. I don’t want my children exposed to their heretical ceremonies, I’ve worked hard to make sure that souls are pure and they find the quickest path to heaven. So I say that all non Baptists should be put together, in one of the neighborhoods nearest the swamp until they see the error of their ways and convert to the one true path to Jesus and heaven and become Baptists.”

  There was quite a lot of applause, are these people crazy? Two valid concerns to address versus xenophobia, and xenophobia wins. I raise my hand.

  “Yes Jaq, do you have a question?”

  “Yes I do Nicole, could someone explain how the government works, I assume this vote is for a government position?”

  “Yes it is. Each bible study group gets to elect one member to the assembly, they hold office for six months, after which they are replaced by another member of the group. The assembly votes annually for the leader and may also vote for suggestions to be forwarded to the leader. But ultimately it is up to the leader to lead.”

  “I see, so the leader is changed annually?”

  “No, the assembly changes every six months but the leader has been leader for fifty four years. He is beloved, even though each year he asks to be replaced, the assembly refuses to accept his resignation.”

  “Thank you, that's very interesting, just one last question, please. Are there any political parties in the assembly?”

  “No Jaq, that would be disjointed. We are all christians, clearly we all want the same things.”

  “I know I said one last question already but might I just have one final question, please. I’m just wondering what denomination the leader is.”

  Cheryl sprang from her chair, “I’m sure he is a good Baptist.”

  “Thank you Cheryl, we each have our private thoughts on that Jaq, but the leader has never revealed his own denomination.”

  “Thank you for your patience and instruction of the newcomer.”

  The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  “Now we'll have a vote for our new assembly member, with a show of hands. First a show of hands for Mindy.”

  Mindy received three votes including mine, Cheryl got nine votes. So she’d spread her xenophobia to a wider audience now. But if the democracy here was anything like the democracies on Earth, a new assembly member wouldn’t know how the assembly works and if they were a returning member, they’d have no time to build coalitions to get anything done. This democracy was really an elected dictatorship.

  After the meeting I was going to have to do something extremely distasteful, I was going to have to cozy up to Cheryl. If she was going into the government offices, I wanted to go along and get a look at their records.

  “Now the last bit of business before we start bible study. Jaq was in heaven last week and it seems that the Angel in charge was expelled for mismanagement of the workers. The workers have rebelled and will likely remain in rebellion until God assigns a new Angel, to rule over heaven. As we know from past labor sedition, it may be weeks before order is restored, any members planning ascension might want to wait a few weeks.”

  I thought I’d fixed the problem, I’d only caused the workers to have a few weeks to blow off steam before a new boss arrives on the scene to exploit them. Peter looked happier, after hearing that his ascension would most likely just have to be postponed not canceled.

  Once a human subscribes to a belief it’s almost impossible to change their opinion on the subject. Even if you prove the opinion is incorrect on live TV. The bible verse the group expounded on was Ephesians 5:22-24: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit everything to their husbands."

  They all found this to be quite rational and just, and exactly how it ought to be. I almost bit my tongue in half, I couldn’t get close to Cheryl if I argued against what she called her favorite biblical passage.

  After the meeting ended, I went over to Cheryl. Who frowned at the sexual deviant, agnostic before her.

  “Congratulations, Assembly person. I’m sorry I didn’t vote for you, I think I was still smarting over the bible passages you quoted for me. But now that I’ve had time to consider, I see the errors I made in the past and now is my opportunity to change those old mistakes. So I wanted to thank you for your instruction.”

  She was all smiles now, perhaps plotting how to get, how she converted the heathen, into conversation with all her friends and neighbors.

  “You're very welcome, sometimes the truth is hard to hear and takes time to change our hearts.”

  “When are you being admitted?”

  “In two days, we have the swearing in ceremony.”

  “Are members of your study group allowed to observe the ceremony? I’d love to come support you.”

  “Yes of course that might be beneficial for you as you transition into your new better life. I’ll write down the address.”

  ***

  Peter walked me back to the house, just to make sure I had my bearings straight. Tomorrow I’d be on my own, I was due at Nicole's at noon time.

  I was surprised to find Groucho in the living room with a young woman.

  “Um, hello, Groucho, could I talk to you in the kitchen please.”

  “Sure Jaq, before you go off, let me introduce to my girlfriend Lola, that’s Lola with an ‘a’ pretty cool right. Lola babe just relax, I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t worry babe, Jaq’s just a friend, a bro. I’ll see what she wants and be right back, I can do that thing you like with my toes if you want.”

  “Oki dokie grouchy, I want to see if you really can strip me naked with just your toes.”

  Back in the kitchen.

  “Make it fast Jaq, I’m just getting her warmed up. Can you believe it? We haven't been here half a day and I already have a girlfriend and guess what Jaq, she used to be a dancer, an exotic dancer and did you see that rack, it’s almost as nice as blondies.”

  “Groucho, I thought you were going to check out the swamp?”

  “Well I started to, but when I went out back I found Lola sunbathing, and that sun was getting into all her nooks and crannies if you know what I mean. So she asked me to put on some sunscreen for her and when I rubbed it in real good with my feet, she was ooohing and ahing so I started using both my hands and feet. Then she said that I was better than two..”

  “Alright, alright, enough. Stop any more and my ears will start bleeding, and I’ll have to poke my eyes out. So did Harry help you with a good opening line?”

  “No I thought it up on my own, I said “Wow you have a great set of knockers.”, guess what she said it’s so funny, come on guess.”

  “Thank you?”

  “No, you’re going to die when you hear this, " she said, and I quote “Thanks they cost me enough”. Isn’t that the funniest thing you've ever heard.”

  “Yeah, funny.”

  “Well I gotta get back in there, I promised I could strip her just using my toes in under a minute, do you want to watch, I’m really good with my toes.”

  “No, no, I couldn't, maybe I’ll just take a walk down by the swamp.”

  “Be careful near that swamp, it’s got a lot of dead things in it.”

  “How do you know, you never made it down there.”

  “I can smell them from here Jaq, lots of dead rotting things, leave the swamp, I’ll search it, first thing in the morning, promise. Lola said she always sleeps in, because she spent so much time working nights. I love it here Jaq, thanks so much for bringing me, it sucks never being able to leave the barn. Maz and Draco are great but it’s so nice to meet new people, get a new perspective on life.”

  I knew exactly what he meant, I’ve been lucky enough to travel all over Europe for years now. I just hope Lola doesn’t break his heart. That’s hard to come back from.