[Inside, Completion]
“Last night was the first time in hundreds of years that I slept on a bed of my own.”
“Where did you normally sleep?”
“Sometimes in the master's bed, in case they desired me during the night. Sometimes in a chair in their bedrooms in case they desired anything during the night, sometimes on the floor because the masters thought it was creepy if I watched them while they were asleep.”
“Were your ‘masters’ ever kind to you?”
“Sometimes I’d get the remains of take out dinners if they couldn’t finish it, I was allowed sometimes to watch a movie with them, sometimes I could skip night time chores and complete them in the morning.”
“That doesn’t sound like kindness, it sounds like apathy. They didn’t care what you did, as long as it didn’t inconvenience them. There are a lot more Ken and Barbies than masters right? I mean Elias basically said all I have to do is ask for more and they will be delivered.”
“Yes that’s right, Jaq. Why do you ask?”
“Well because I think we should fix heaven and find gramps at the same time. How many Ken and Barbies have ever become masters? Do you know any personally, or any at all? Is how long until you accumulate enough points a question I could ask other Kens and Barbies?”
“Fix heaven, how can you fix heaven?”
“You’ll see, how about my other questions?”
“I don’t know the number that have ascended, I don’t know any personally, I know of one Pastor Kenneth. A Ken or a Barbie has to answer any question that any of the masters put to it, unless forbidden by their personal master.”
“Great, tell me Pastor Kenneth’s story.”
***
An hour later we were on our way to visit Pastor Kenneth. We exited our house via the back door and Barbie signaled for a cart. Then we were silently whisked away to the Pastor’s ‘church’. For over an hour we rode a blacktop path with bungalows and the ocean on the right and to the left another blacktoped path with carts going in the opposite direction. Beyond that to the left was a glittering city of skyscrapers made of metal and glass.
Eventually we turned off Ocean Side Drive as I’d dubbed it and started inland toward the city. When the cart glides to a stop, instead of getting out.
“Excuse me driver, are you a Ken?”
“Yes master.”
“How do you accumulate points?”
“Passengers may rate us on a scale of -3 to +1.”
“I’ve taken numerous rides but no one ever informed me that I could rate a driver.”
“It is forbidden that we mention it, if we mentioned it, it would feel like we were begging for points which might make a master uncomfortable. Masters must never be made to feel uncomfortable.”
“Do you get more heaven or hell points?”
“Hell points.”
“Why would a master give a Ken hell points?”
“That is not for me to know, master.”
“Please speculate why, for instance the very last time you received a negative rating, how was the journey different from the one we just took?”
“In that journey master we became involved in a traffic jam.”
“Did you in any way cause the traffic jam or could you have avoided the traffic jam with the knowledge you had at the time?”
“No master, I did not cause the traffic jam, and no I couldn’t avoid it without knowing that it was there, and I didn’t know that.”
“How long were you stuck and what rating did the master give you?”
“We were stuck for ten minutes and a negative three, master.”
“How many points do you need to ascend and how long have you been a Ken?”
“I need nine hundred and seventy nine thousand points to ascend, I have been a Ken for four hundred and eighty three years.”
“So if my math is correct, you’ve averaged 44 points a year for the last four hundred and eighty three years assuming the same amount of points gained per year to remain the same, you’ll ascend in approximately twenty three thousand years.”
“That’s correct, master.”
“Did you kill, rape, murder, rob a bank, assault, steal a car, hurt any one on purpose while you were on Earth?”
“No master.”
“I’d like to award you maximum points. How do I do that?”
“Just say it and it is done, thank you master.”
“If you can wait for us, I will award you more points for another ride home after this.”
“Thank you master, I'll wait.”
***
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
We enter the ‘church’ . It's just a bare TV studio with a few large cameras that can be rolled around. A few Barbie’s approached us, I knew they were Barbies because like all the other Ken’s and Barbie’s I’ve met they addressed me as master.
“Master this is a church for the unascended.”
“Yes I know that but it has always been my desire to appear on Live TV and I’m told you broadcast daily to every Barbie and Ken in heaven, is that not correct?”
“It is correct, master.”
“Wonderful, I’d like to appear on today’s broadcast. It is my greatest desire, how can I award each of you maximum points for making my desire come true?”
“Come this way master.”
***
A little while later I was seated in the studio with a rather nervous looking little man who appeared to be sweating profusely. I avoided speaking to the man and this just seemed to make him more nervous. I’d arranged with the ‘producer Barbies’ to open the show. I’d brought my knapsack with me and opened the flaps to have quick access to its contents. Then the show began.
“Good morning, I know you’re expecting Pastor Kenneth, but my name is Jacqueline Holland and all my friends call me Jaq. So please if you every see me out in the real world come over and introduce yourself, when you do remember to call me Jaq, it’s my greatest desire to be friends with all of you and if I can ever help you any any way, like award points, please just let me know. In return if you happen to see my Granddad, Henry Holland, please let him know that I’m worried about him and I can’t enjoy my afterlife with all that worry. Anyone who has any information please come to my house, the address should be flashing on the screen now. I promise to award you maximum points. Now let’s bring the Pastor in here for a live interview, I’ve always wanted to do one of these. Pastor Kenneth it’s my understanding that you are an ascended Ken, is that really true.”
“Yes it is.”
“Wonderful, can you tell the Ken and Barbies out there how you did it?”
“Through a lot of hard work, Jaq.”
“I’ll bet, pastor, what I mean is how did you achieve it so quickly?”
“Quickly?”
“Yes, how many years did it take?”
“Well we have all of eternity so years don’t matter like they did on Earth.”
“Yes but I’m sure all the Ken and Barbies out there want to emulate you, a man of the cloth. I can see that you are no braggart, I insist you don’t let humility stop you from telling the true story of your life. Your story can only inspire your brethren, when did you first arrive here in heaven.”
“I first arrived here in heaven when the savior was born.”
“So a little over two thousand years ago, let's see if I have the math right you accumulated five thousand points a year, that’s amazing. I’ve always been fascinated by math. All the Kens and Barbies I’ve spoken to can’t amass anywhere near that number even if they get the maximum allowed points and never suffer a loss.”
“Well I worked very hard.”
“Yes I understand that. But still working very hard doesn’t explain it, we want to know what job pays such a high reward, isn’t that right faithful.”
There was a scattered clapping from the few Ken and Barbies, along with a few shouts of amen. The little man looked like he was sweating even worse than before.
“I agreed to become a preacher when I ascended.”
“I see so you were awarded points for a job you’d perform after ascending.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“I wasn’t aware that I could award my body servant points for service in the future, just how would I go about doing that pastor?”
“I don’t know how it can be done.”
“Well I should interview your former master for the show, I’d be willing to bet that every Ken And Barbie in heaven would wish to know the answer to the question. Don’t you think so pastor. Now that you've ascended I’m sure you remained fast friends with your former master who has done you such a kindness. Why don’t you call them while we’re on air and ask them to come here tomorrow, I’ll come back. What do you say faithful?”
Shouts of “Call him.” rang through the studio. I was beginning to feel sorry for the little man. Whoever he called agreed to for the broadcast the next day. I repeated the appeal for my grandfather, showing his picture again and offering max points for information.
“Well that’s all for today, don’t forget to tune in to tomorrow's show, I also encourage you to advise your master’s to watch, I’d be willing to bet it’ll be so entertaining they’ll award you max points. If we find out the answer to awarding points in advance you might ascend tomorrow if your master watches along with you. Now wouldn’t that be great.”
***
“Wow Jaq, I didn’t see that coming. I’m sorry I’ve never seen your granddad.”
“That’s alright Ken, you’re already getting max points, I just wish I could award you more.”
“I think you just stirred up trouble. Jaq.”
“Oh, I’m one hundred percent certain that I did, Barbie.”
***
There was a line of a couple hundred Ken and Barbies waiting at my house when we arrived. My Barbie escorted them into the house and one by one I awarded them points for the information. Even after we’d dealt with everyone in the line, they kept coming until nine at night when we put out a sign asking them to come back tomorrow.
There had been hundreds of people who’d seen my grandfather but non more recently than forty nine years ago. It was just as I suspected. Grandfather would never have remained in a place this corrupt of his own free will.
***
Ken the driver from yesterday was waiting for us when we exited the kitchen door.
“Hello Ken, this is a nice surprise.”
“Hello Jaq, I don’t have a master just this driving job or I’d be home watching the broadcast with them. I wanted to be a part of this.”
“Ken you will be, listen carefully to what I say at the end and if you find my reasoning logical and the ideas I present fair, then please consider taking the actions I recommend.”
“I’ll listen, Jaq, my cart is not moving until after the broadcast. Besides, I'll be waiting to drive you home after the broadcast.”
“Thanks Ken, but if what I think will happen, happens, please take my Barbie home and both of you remain careful and safe alright?”
“Why Jaq, what do you think will happen?”
“Barbie I honestly don’t want to say, I’ll just say this, I think all the Ken’s and Barbies will take a step toward ending servitude in heaven forever. The less you know Barbie, the less they can blame you for. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do but you’ve had it hard enough I’m not adding to that burden.
***
