I’ve been promised an extra-long bath as my reward for vanquishing Gargantua and, all things considered, I’m actually pretty damn excited. This stuff crusts over fast if you don’t get it off in a hurry. But before I get a chance to make my way to the bathhouse, Ulric and his entourage of armed thugs barge into the now-nearly empty armory to confront me. None of them says a word so I go ahead and do the talking, “Ulric, I uh…guess you’re here for this.” I look down at Hellstorm ruefully before handing it over. “Suppose this means I owe you one.” He reaches out a gloved hand to reclaim it before promptly concealing it under his cloak. “...You might want to clean that.”

  As I’m turning to walk away, I hear, “I have a proposition.”

  Oh boy, here it comes. I turn back around, fold my arms, and wait for it. “I of course know of your reputation in Valencia’s Royal Beast Brigade. Uninspired name, by the way. Strikes me as the sort of thing that was only ever intended to serve as a placeholder until a proper name could be conceived.”

  “Well, the guy that came up with it was drunk at the time so you might be right.”

  “In any case, your reputation precedes you. You have valuable experience that could be of use to me. A history of fighting and surviving against mystical creatures. And from what I saw in the arena tonight, you possess a cunning that most fighters lack.”

  “Yeah?” I spit at the ground. “What of it?” The spit doesn’t make it all the way out of my mouth and I have to wipe a bit of dribble off my chin.

  “I’ve been ordered by the empress to retrieve something of great value from the volcano on Kipp Isle. It’s protected by Cerberus, former guard dog of Hades himself. The empress is under the impression that retrieving this object will turn the war with Valencia back in her favor.”

  “Uh-huh. So you want me to help the empress get some magical weapon that you can use against my own country? Get fucked.”

  He tilts his head forward with a villainous grin. “But I have something to offer. Something you want very much.”

  “Hmph. And what is that?”

  “Time. The only thing you have left in this world. And even better, it would be time well spent. An audience with the Valencian princess.” My head involuntarily perks up as he continues, “Surely you know you’re going to die in here. Sooner rather than later, most likely. The arena architects are already planning your demise. They take great pride in their macabre machinations and I can assure you, you won’t last long. Guile can only take a man so far in a place like this. Imagine if you could see her one last time. I could even see to it that the two of you spend an entire day together.”

  I shake my head. “Supposing I did this thing—not that I’m saying I would, but—how can I trust that you’d keep your end of the bargain?”

  Ulric’s smile evaporates. He narrows his eyes and stares straight into my soul as he growls, “I do not go back on my word.”

  I turn and start pacing. Partly to think, partly because that look he’s giving me is creeping me the fuck out. “…So you’ve seen Piper? Is she in a dungeon like this one?”

  “Oh, far from it. She’s being held in the royal palace now. The prince has barely left her side ever since your capture.”

  Of course. I bet it would really chap that guy’s ass if I was the one who got whatever mystical thing the empress wanted and then get a whole day with Piper alone. I ask Ulric, “How is she?”

  “Distraught. Inconsolable. I’m sure she’d like to see you, as well. Would do the dear quite a bit of good, I’d imagine.”

  “Oh yeah? Why do you say that?”

  His mouth curls up into a devilish smirk as he explains, “This morning, before your battle in the arena, when the empress informed her of your fate. Oh, you should have seen it. Quite the drama played out in the palace. The Valencian princess screaming and begging for your life to be spared. She said she would have her father end the war, then and there if that’s what it took. But the empress didn’t believe she had any power to end the war. Then when the poor darling said she was in love with you, the empress laughed and told her that if that was the case then she’d have to wear a black mourning dress to the arena to watch you die.” After finishing, he crosses his arms to wait for my response.

  I have to replay the words in my head a few times to make sure I heard him right. I’ve had a lot of terrible things happen to me these last few weeks, and I’m pretty sure I have a gruesome death waiting for me just around the corner, but in spite of everything, as soon as he tells me what Piper said, my heart leaps into my throat and I damn near start to cry right in front of him. This might be the happiest I’ve ever been.

  “I’ll do it.”

  “Splendid. Any further questions?”

  “No.” A second after he turns to walk away, I stop him to say, “Actually yeah, one more thing. Why’s it look like that gash in your neck hasn’t healed at all yet? And how’d you get that thing anyway?”

  He raises a hand up to touch it with two fingers as he stares grimly at the floor. Then he drops his arm and looks back up at me. “Rest up. We depart at nightfall tomorrow.”

  ***

  I have a new and improved room in the dungeon. I still have to shit in a bucket but now I have a window. Small victories. I also have a roommate. Of course it’s that idiot Matt but he’s at least better to talk to than the rats in this place. I’ve managed to squeeze my hands between the bars on the window to feel the breeze outside and I’m watching the last bit of golden light disappear over the horizon when he says from his sleeping spot on the floor, “Bad idea trusting these blokes. That Ulric feller gives me the willies.

  Stolen story; please report.

  I shrug. “Yeah well, it’s either die in here or out there. At least this way I might get to see Piper again.”

  He sits up to ask, “She your girl? Piper?”

  “Um…” I don’t know how to explain it. “...Sort of. But not really. It’s complicated.”

  “Complicated? What’s complicated about it? Didn’t that bloke say she was in love with you?”

  I sigh out the window. “I actually learned that at the same time you did. But…we’re not exactly in the same league, her and me. We’ve been friends since we were young. Best friends. But beyond that…I don’t even know what I’d have to offer—” As if cued by the setting sun, the moment it’s dark out I hear Ulric and his henchmen clanking their way down the hall toward our cell. I pull my hands in, turn to cross my arms, and then wait. A few seconds of unlatching racket later, the door swings open and Ulric says, “It’s time.”

  Matt bids me farewell with a pat on the back like he’ll never see me again because—let’s be honest—he probably won’t. Then I’m off with Ulric and the gang. Compared to the way the dungeon guards treat me, he and his crew of crossbow-wielding minions make me feel like downright royalty. They give me new clothes, new armor, and a badass spear called ‘Gungnir’ that’s supposedly fated to kill the monster, Cerberus. I don’t believe in fate though, so I tell them I need a sword to go along with it and they give me a nice but non-enchanted one to shut me up. Ulric of course has Hellstorm and I find myself eyeing it with envy every time I catch a glimpse of it. I feel like the two of us had a real moment in that arena together. I’d like to see Ulric or anyone else pull that same shit off with Gargantua. Honestly, I don’t know how the hell I managed to do it myself.

  Now, you might assume that going up against one of the most infamous and powerful mythological creatures to ever exist would warrant more than just a handful of dipshits with spears in a leaky-ass boat, but then you don’t know Ulric. This guy is confident. Swears up and down that the six of us are fated to take this thing out. A monster that was evicted from Hell by Hades himself. And he doesn’t understand why I don’t share his optimism. As he’s listening to me shit all over his plan for the umpteenth time since our party set sail, he interrupts to say, “Wheels have been in motion for longer than you can imagine. And you have no idea what I went through to retrieve that spear.”

  “Oh yeah? So why’d you give it to me then? Why aren’t you the one going in there with it?”

  He completely ignores my question. “So, even if we succeed in defeating this particular monster with that particular weapon, a weapon which I have gone to extraordinary lengths to retrieve for this very purpose, you will still not concede that fate played a hand?”

  “You ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy, Ulric?” He chuckles and it’s actually kind of cute. “Sorry, but I just don’t believe in any of this fate nonsense. If we walk away from this island alive, it’s because we made it happen. Not fate. Now let’s just get in there and kick this thing’s ass so I can see Piper one last time.”

  His gaze veers to the side of the boat before dropping down to the water. Then he leans over the banister with his chin resting against his fist. After a long sigh, he says, “Despite your circumstances, I must say, I envy you. What you have is quite rare. You should cherish it while you still can. You—we—have only such a brief amount of time in this world to really feel anything. To actually live.” Then things get real quiet between us.

  Call me crazy, but I think this guy might have something he wants to get off his chest. I roll my eyes, lean over the banister to join him, and ask, “So uh…you ever been in love, Ulric?”

  “Oh yes. A long time ago now. A Very long time.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ve got a very long boat ride ahead of us. So why don’t’cha go ahead and tell me about it.”

  He sucks in a chestful of air before leaning back to look up at the stars. “I had to make a decision. I decided to leave her behind. For her own sake.” After that, he turns and walks back to the bridge to sulk by himself. He does that a lot. It’s sort of his thing.

  We spend three whole days at sea together and I don’t see that creep come above deck one time when the sun is out. Frankly, I’m sick of dancing around this thing but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it so, whatever, I guess I’ll let it go.

  We arrive at the island in the dead of night (of course) and cram into two separate canoes—Ulric in one and me in the other, with two henchmen apiece. One of the henchmen in my canoe is actually a henchwoman. Like the rest of them, Gabriella’s got a shortish, black cloak with a furry collar at the top and silver armor covering her entire body. We’ve just started paddling away from the ship and it’s already too quiet. I ask her, “So you uh…know Ulric long?” She purses her lips in a ‘don’t ask’ gesture and then we just keep on a-paddling.

  The island is actually just a volcanic mountain range poking up out of the Etherean Sea. The big one in the middle is Mount Ares. That’s where this Cerberus character supposedly hangs out. Why it’s there and what it’s guarding, I have no clue. Ulric only tells me what I need to know. And apparently I don’t need to know shit.

  We take our canoes into a river that winds its way to the interior of the island. When I can tell we’re getting close, I ask Gabriella, “What is it we’re trying to get out of this volcano, anyway?”

  She sighs and glances over at Ulric’s canoe. “It might be better that you don’t know.”

  I stop paddling until she looks at me. Then I ask, “What do you know about the empress? She some kind of magical being or what?”

  Gabriella laughs and says in the most condescending way possible, “So inquisitive! You should push these questions out of your mind and focus on the task at hand.”

  “Yeah but I mean, she’s evil, right? Like, whatever it is we’re trying to find in there, it probably shouldn’t be in her hands?”

  Gabriella shrugs and looks away. “She is what she is. And we are who we are. We all have a role to play.”

  “Thanks, that’s helpful.”

  I’m still bored so I keep talking, “I know a wizard and I must say, I do not trust these magical people. Fallow might be the biggest asshole I know. I can’t stand working with that guy.” She just ignores me and keeps on rowing. After that, I go ahead and put my paddle back in the water because I have nothing better to do. Another minute goes by before I ask, “You ever fought anything like this Cerberus thing before?”

  “No. Cerberus is the only one of its kind. Its strength is boundless, with three heads to keep watch over the netherrealm at all times.”

  I close my eyes and sigh out the words, “Why do these things always have to have so many goddamn heads?” Then I shake my one head and ask her, “You really think this thing came out of Hell? Like, it isn’t just some really fucked up, deformed dog or something?”

  She gives me a super-fake laugh and then puts on her serious face. “Please understand. It does not need food. It does not need water. It lives in this volcano and never leaves. And it will fight to the death to defend its bounty.”

  I roll my eyes and force air out of my nostrils. Everything’s always so cryptic with these people. The conversation is cut short when our canoe collides with the rocky shore at the foot of Mount Ares. Ulric and his team are already there waiting for us. After he gives Gabriella a nod, we all file out of the canoe and start our ascent up the mountain.