March 2012.

  "Jess!! Look, great news!!"

  "What is it?! Spill it, Martha!" I smiled, adjusting the heavy strap of my bag on my shoulder.

  "The Hunger Games movie is finally coming out this month!" Martha practically vibrated with excitement, shoving her glowing phone screen into my face.

  "Girl, please. You literally told me that st week!" I chuckled, genuinely amused by her endless energy.

  "I don’t care! We have to go watch it together opening weekend!" She grabbed my arm, her brown eyes suddenly going wide as a terrifying idea struck her. "Wait, wait! This is perfect! We have to make it a double date! It’s finally time you introduce me to Jones!"

  Oh God. Not this again. My stomach instantly dropped into a cold, sickening knot.

  "I... uhmm, I will have to ask him first," I stammered, desperately avoiding her gaze. "Just to see if he has the time, okay?"

  Her eyes squinted, scanning my face. She was far too perceptive. "What is wrong with you? Why are you always so weird and secretive about your boyfriend?"

  "Jeez! I’m not secretive!" I snapped defensively, looking away so she couldn't see the guilt in my eyes. "It’s just… complicated with his schedule."

  Martha smirked, completely misreading my panic. "Don’t tell me... you actually have a crush on your childhood friend, right? The gorgeous guy who drops you off?"

  "What?? No! It’s not like that!" My heart hammered violently against my ribs.

  "Ahhh! Please. If I were you, I would've already dropped to my knees for him," she giggled shamelessly.

  I already did. I do it every single night, my mind screamed. The tragic, sickening irony of the conversation made me want to throw up. I was living with Daeron. I loved Daeron. But to Martha and the rest of the campus, I had to pretend he was just a "friend" because my official, public boyfriend was Jones. The lies were absolutely suffocating me.

  "Why not invite him to the movie instead? Introduce him to me, Jess."

  "No!" I shouted. The word tore out of my throat with genuine, unfiltered panic. "You already have Nigel, Martha!"

  "Whoaaaa! Chill out, girl!" Martha stepped back, raising her hands in surrender. "Besides, Nigel and I aren't officially dating yet." She pced a dramatic hand against her cheek and sighed. "But for a guy like your friend? I would leave Nigel in a heartbeat." She ughed loudly.

  "Ewwww, you’re such a slut!" I forced a loud ugh, desperately trying to keep the facade from cracking.

  But behind my fake smile, my heart ached. I completely understood why she felt that way. Who wouldn’t want Daeron? He was incredibly gentle, fiercely protective, and deeply caring. Even back in high school, Daeron had always been the unspoken favorite in the girls' circle. On the outside, he was handsome, stoic, and mysterious. The fact that he was a trained fighter who fearlessly stood his ground against the jocks put him at the very top of the list.

  I was the luckiest girl in the world to be the one he let past his walls. I had everything I ever wanted waiting for me in that luxury loft.

  But because of my own cowardice and this tangled web of lies, I was actively ruining my only chance at real happiness.

  Bzzt! Bzzt!

  My phone vibrated aggressively in my pocket. I pulled it out and my blood ran cold. Jones. I took a few steps away from Martha to answer it.

  "Hello?"

  "Hey, babe. Where are you?"

  I squeezed my eyes shut, a massive headache building behind my temples. "What is it, Jones? I told you, I have to go home early today, or my brother Sean is going to start looking for me."

  "Come on, babe. We've barely seen each other since you moved into Sean's apartment. I miss you."

  I bit the inside of my cheek. It was the ultimate, foolproof lie. In reality, my family wasn't strict at all. My older brother, Sean, was incredibly id-back and supportive of whoever I wanted to date—except for Jones. Sean hated Jones with a burning passion.

  So, I weaponized the "strict family" excuse against both of the men in my life. I told Daeron my family was incredibly strict so he wouldn't push to meet them or dig too deeply into my life back home. And I told Jones that I lived under Sean's strict, suffocating roof so he would never question why he wasn't allowed to visit my apartment. It was the only way I could hide the fact that I was actually living with Daeron.

  I let out a heavy, ragged sigh. I felt like I was being pulled apart by wild horses. "Fine. Let’s meet up at the park as usual. But I can only stay for five minutes max."

  "Thank you, babe! I’ll head there right away. Love you."

  Fuck. I ended the call without saying it back. I couldn't keep walking this tightrope forever. Eventually, the lies were going to snap, and I was going to destroy everyone around me.

  To be completely honest with myself? I didn't have romantic feelings for Jones anymore. But I couldn't just shake him. He was a prison of my own making.

  Back in high school, Daeron’s stoic, unreadable walls had completely terrified me. When we were distant, his silence made me genuinely believe he hated me. Jones had swooped right in. He pyed the perfect, sympathetic "mediator," comforting me when I was emotionally devastated and completely vulnerable. And in that moment of weakness... he took my virginity.

  Because I had never dated anyone before, my rigid, naive moral compass convinced me I was now obligated to stay with him. I treated my body like a binding contract. That boundary meant everything to me. It was the exact reason why I had fooled around with Daeron for months, but never let him cross that final line.

  But after living with Daeron... waking up next to him every single day... it shattered that illusion. It made me realize that Daeron was the only man I ever truly wanted to belong to.

  I desperately wanted to break up with Jones. But I was trapped. He always treated me well, pying the "nice guy" role fwlessly, and it was absolutely suffocating. Breaking up with him now meant I would look like an evil, ungrateful vilin to our entire social circle. I was so paralyzed by the fear of the consequences that I just kept lying.

  My internal compass was completely broken, but it always pointed back to true north. It pointed to the only person who actually made me feel alive.

  Daeron. The boy I was currently betraying.

  *

  I sat stiffly on a cold wooden bench at the edge of the park, anxiously checking the time on my phone. Five minutes had already passed. I let out a heavy, ragged exhale, my leg bouncing nervously.

  He was always like this. Always te. Even when he was the one who picked the time, he still made me wait.

  Ugh. It was deeply, quietly infuriating. If he missed me as desperately as he cimed on the phone, why couldn't he just show up on time? Why couldn't he just be reliable like... fuck.

  I rubbed my temples, squeezing my eyes shut. Whenever I was around Jones, my brain relentlessly compared him to Daeron. It was a terrifying contrast. Daeron would have been sitting on this bench ten minutes early, waiting with a hot coffee in his hand. In every single aspect of life, Daeron was vastly superior. And yet, because of my stupid, rigid rules about my virginity, I was still chained to Jones, betraying the boy I actually loved.

  I gripped the leather strap of my bag until my knuckles turned white. I needed to break up with him. I needed to rip the band-aid off today.

  "Babe! You're already here."

  I snapped my head up. Jones was casually jogging up the path toward me, a rexed smile on his face. Really? No apology for keeping me waiting while I'm risking my neck to be here?

  He dropped onto the bench beside me. Without reading my tense body nguage at all, his hand reached out, casually grabbing my hip to pull me against his side. The unwelcome contact made my skin crawl. I instinctively spped his hand away.

  "Hey! What’s wrong, babe? Why are you mad at me again?"

  Ugh, please. Why did I ever think this was love? For fuck's sake, Jessica.

  "Come on, babe. Please don’t act like this." He gently reached out and covered my hand with his. His tone instantly shifted into that soft, wounded pitch he had perfected. "I’m sorry, babe. I got here as fast as I possibly could. Please don't be mad?"

  Fuck! It was a mastercss in emotional manipution. He ignored my time, crossed my physical boundary, and then immediately pyed the sweet, apologetic victim. He knew exactly how to twist the situation to make me feel like a cruel, ungrateful girlfriend for pulling away.

  "Just listen to me, babe. Look. I have a massive surprise.” He grinned, completely oblivious to my stiff posture, “I already found an apartment for us."

  All the air violently left my lungs. My chest instantly tightened, and the back of my neck went ice-cold.

  "I already paid the deposit and the first month's rent. We can move in together next week."

  "What??" My eyes blew wide in sheer, unadulterated horror. "Next week?"

  He smiled casually, his chest puffing out with pride. "Yes! You don’t have to live under Sean's strict, suffocating rules ever again, babe! I did this for you. I'm getting you out of there."

  No. No. No!

  The trap completely snapped shut. My own brilliant, foolproof lie had just become my noose. I had created "strict brother Sean" to keep Jones away from Daeron's loft. And now, Jones was using that exact same lie as an excuse to py the hero and extract me from the only pce I actually wanted to be.

  "Look, let me show you the pictures. It’s an amazing apartment. I even ordered a new couch for us already."

  Please... God, please, no. The blood entirely drained from my face. A cold, cmmy sweat broke out across my back.

  Jones eagerly swiped through the pictures on his phone, showing off the spacious living room and the kitchen. I stared blindly at the screen, my stomach violently churning. He hadn't just asked me to move in. He had bypassed my consent entirely and spent thousands of dolrs to lock me down.

  God! What the fuck have I done? I should’ve ended this months ago! How do I break up with him when he just spent all his savings on me?!

  "Why are you so quiet, babe?" He leaned in, trying to look me in the eye.

  I immediately averted my gaze, staring at the concrete path. I was completely paralyzed.

  "… Let me talk with my brother first," I stammered, my voice barely a whisper. "I want to go home. I waited for you too long today. I have to go."

  I abruptly stood up from the bench, my legs shaking. I didn't wait for him to argue. I turned and practically sprinted out of the park, fleeing blindly back toward Daeron’s loft. Back to my real home.

  The mere thought of leaving Daeron’s apartment made me physically sick. Leaving the only person who actually protected me. Leaving the only boy who made me feel safe.

  God, why did I build this trap? What should I do, Daeron?