The carriage rolled over a dead branch that had torn off an olive tree above the road. The lumber was big enough that Kip could feel the bump from inside. Kip stared out the window, watching as the lush greenery of the Fierce Forest turned into the pastoral farm lands of the Ulmund Kingdom.

  “Biggest mission yet,” Kip muttered to himself.

  “Aye. You’ve rounded out with a good crew.”

  “I was jussst about to say that.”

  He had brought his advisor… his two advisors. Jasssper and Stormbristle. Tamas was there as potential entertainment. He brought Lala around for her obvious gift.

  “I can’t imagine what a king’s feast will look like,” Said Lala as she felt the light wind on her white hair, “I wonder who I’ll attend dinner as? Maybe… Azami! With her beautiful blue hair.”

  “Don’t you have a favorite form you use?” Kip asked.

  “Oh, that form has seen enough of the Ulmund Kingdom.”

  “I’m not sure I follow?” Kip asked.

  She shook her head, “If my purpose is to lay low, best to go as someone else. Best if I went as Azami”

  “Ah, that won’t do either,” Said Jasssper, “Did some ssstudying on the Ulmund Kingdom. Azami hasss a reputation. She’s known as the Heart Stealer, and isss… very much not welcome in the Umund Kingdom.”

  “Hmm… I don’t have that many more day-siders I could be… the drunk… oh! I know.”

  Kip had wanted to bring Zeke or Blademan but they were tied up with something. His mind got distracted thinking about those two.

  He turned to Stormbristle, “Zeke…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

  “He’ll be alright. It’s as you say, he’s strong.”

  Kip looked out the window, resting his chin on his fist, “He’ll win. He’ll beat Blademan today.”

  “I have faith.” Said Stormboar, forcing resolve through his tusks.

  “I do too,” Said Kip as he stared out at the windows, he did not recognize that he was confusing faith with hope. He merely had faith that they were one in the same.

  Kip sighed. Since they did not have his usual heavies to bring, he had to ask someone who was available on short notice. He sighed as he looked back into the carriage, the bouncing flame of the person’s head distracting him.

  “You already know what I think,” Said Akun, “I think we burn these suckers down. Show them the power of a damn, pit fiend! You already know that’s right, baby!”

  “Yes,” Kip said, “We are aware that is your position.”

  “If anyone even looks at me funny… they’re getting the chain hook.”

  “They absolutely will, my boy,” Said Storm, “You are a skeleton in a leather jacket with an ever flaming head. You need to conduct yourself with decorum. This is, first and foremost, a peace mission.”

  Lala’s smile was shrouded by her hand as she rested on the other window, watching Storm once again nag someone about the status of mission parameters. She looked out the view, “Should I go as a human?” She asked, “Would that be best for their sake?”

  Kip shook his head, “I like how you look right now. Gray skin and all.”

  Lala giggled. Redness reaching her gray skin. She sighed and said, “I think for their sake, my lord, for their sake I better.”

  She changed her appearance to Baela, the hotheaded elf. With one swivel of her head, her crinkled white hair straightened and turned blonde. Her face contorted to fit the fine elven features made hardened by life’s challenges.

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  “How do I look?” She asked, “Do I have it?”

  “Not quite, you need to seem angrier,” Storm said.

  “Mean-hot,” Tamas said.

  Lala smiled and furrowed her brow, forcing it. Not creating a natural angry expression. She broke out into a laugh, “I’ll try my best. Elves are so beautiful,” She took out a pocket mirror and gave herself a look. Examining her features. Her eye landed on her scar, jagged and drawing attention away from the pearlescent elven skin. Her smile dampened, and she curtained her faux blonde hair over her cheek.

  “Can’t wait to chain smash 'em, baby,” Said Akun, “Let me get close to that lord-damned king and I’ll show him what's what.”

  “Oh, lords,” said Kip as he whispered to Stormbristle and Jasssper, “I fear I made a mistake in bringing him, surely the other two heavies would have been more compliant?”

  “Mason had taken leave and the wolf ssssaid no outright, sire.” Said Jasssper, “Seemsss he was the only one left.”

  “Brilliant.” Said Kip as he sat back in his chair.

  “Hey,” Tamas said to Akun, “You know, there are other forms of social interaction that aren’t based around who can chain hook who. Like I use my music to alter people’s emotions.”

  “Really? If that’s true, could you do me a favor?” Akun asked, “It might help the mission.”

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “Could you make me angrier?”

  Tamas looked at the other people in the carriage, “Uhh, I don’t know if that’s possible. To be honest.”

  Akun’s eye socket twitched with vitriol, “Okay, then I’m not really sure how much help you can be.”

  “I… can not… stress this enough,” Said Stormbristle, “This is a peace mission. We will not see combat. We do not want to see combat. You are here as insurance. That is all.”

  “Yeah?” Akun said, “The whole point of insurance is to eventually cash in! Or do you think the bar I owned before joining Shangra just ‘accidentally’ went up in flames?”

  “Did you set fire to your own bar?” Tamas asked.

  “That depends, do you work for the municipality of Kandeed? If so, then no. I just fell asleep with my head too close to the curtains.”

  Tamas shook his head, “You’re a bad vibe, man.”

  “We may be dealing with an arsssonissst, sire.” Said Jasssper.

  “I’m becoming increasingly aware of that fact, thank you.”

  “What?” He said, “What? I’m the only one in this carriage mad at humans? Lala, who gave you that hideous scar?”

  “Akun!” Kip said.

  “What?! Answer, Lala.”

  “You don’t dare use that word about her,” Said Tamas.

  Lala pulled her hair down. She did not like how the attention had turned to her. Only to move on, she answered. In a tiny voice she said, “A human”

  “A human! A day-sider. An Ulmun. Call them whatever! They’re trouble for our kind!”

  “This could be a chance to appeal to them,” Kip said.

  “And I’m all for that!” Akun said, “But when things start going bonetits up, you’ll need me, won’t you?”

  No one said anything to this. Eventually, Tamas uttered, “We can handle things other ways. Not just through violence.”

  “Oh, okay. I’m crazy. I’m the crazy one because… these humans have done nothing but subjugate us, or mistreat us, or kill us for loot… and.. I’m crazy for knowing that a fight is coming?”

  “You’re not crazy,” Said Stormbristle, “I fear the humans as much as the next storm boar. Storm boar are… valuable for many a reason. Not to mention last I was here… I was treated as a product.”

  “I’ll say it,” Tamas said, “You’re crazy, bro.”

  Akun took out his chain, he reached it over and wrapped it around Tamas’ horn, then pulled. It slammed Tamas’ head against the carriage wall.

  “Woah!” Said Kip.

  “Hey now!” The aire in the carriage changed. Tamas fell to the floor of the cabin, grabbing his head in pain. Lala covered her mouth again and kept her distance from Akun. Kip raised his hands up, “Akun!"

  "You guys saw that, right? He leapt at me.” Akun said as he placed his hook back in its holster.

  “He did no such thing!” yelled Lala. She knelt and grabbed Tamas’ head, helping him.

  “We better leave you in the carriage!” Said Storm, “You will not be compromising the sanctity of this peace mission.”

  “Peace,” Akun scoffed, “Just another word for kissing the ring.”

  “Look here! We will not be having you ruin the mission.” Storm said.

  “No, I don't think you all understand. You brought me on this to be muscle, right? So don’t get pissed at me for being muscle.”

  “Yes,” Kip said, “I think it best if you just stay in the carriage.” Kip said, “We’ll bring you something from dinner, and we’ll stop by the gift shop and buy you something. What do you want? Coffee mug?”

  “No… no.. no!” Yelled Akun. Lala helped Tamas up as he grabbed his injured head, “I won’t be going absolutely anywhere! I’m glad I came on this trip. I’ve been wanting to see how the people behind that castle lived. I’m going to make sure you’re protected. But do you think I’m going to like it? Hell no. And you all will just have to deal with it.” He narrowed his occipital lobes as he stared at Kip. Kip stared back. Storm whispered to his friend, “This is supposed to be a peace mission. The dance of politics… it’s a subtle seduction and our dance partner appears to have two left feet.”

  Jasssper whispered, “Thisss man is a danger to-”

  “What!?” Akun said, “Come on! It’s a dinner party! Let’s liven up a little! I’m not going to be completely off my rocker.”

  “Do we have time to turn the carriage around?”

  Just then the carriage slowed and then stopped. As it pulled up, there was a line of servants. Kip looked out the window, then back inside.

  “Too late… we’re here.”

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