"I am a bird!" Gideon shouted (squeaked). "I am a glorious eagle!"

  The Knight was currently dangling fifty feet in the air, suspended by a rainbow colored parachute. His pink roller skates spun lazily in the freezing wind.

  Below him, hanging on for dear life like a chain of terrified monkeys, were Kai, Maya, Pigglesworth.

  "We are too high!" Pigglesworth screamed, clutching Gideon’s plastic ankle with a death grip. "If I fall, I shall bounce! And bouncing is undignified!"

  "Just hold on!" Kai yelled, squinting against the stinging cold. "The wind is pushing us toward the City Hall! We just need to maneuver ourselves there!"

  "Why do we desire the inflatable castle?" Gideon shouted back.

  "Because the Admin Console is inside!" Kai screamed. "It’s the local server node! If we get to that desk, I can access the settings and turn off the Child Lock!"

  "So we can stop the horrible music and landscape?" Maya asked, terrified.

  "So we can stop everything!" Kai yelled. "We just need to stick the landing!"

  Suddenly, the music changed.

  The background loop of generic happy whistling faded out. A new, rhythmic, thumping bass line kicked in. It sounded like a nursery rhyme remixed by a techno DJ who had given up on life.

  Doo-doo-doo...

  [ SYSTEM ALERT: VEHICLE DETECTED ] [ CLASS: Public Transport ]

  "Vehicle?" Kai looked at the HUD. "Who is the vehicle?"

  He looked up. Gideon’s wheels were spinning in the wind.

  "Oh no," Kai whispered. "Gideon. It’s you. You have wheels. You have passengers."

  "I am a carriage?" Gideon gasped, delighted.

  The music swelled. A choir of terrifyingly enthusiastic children began to sing from the clouds.

  "The wheels on the Knight go round and round..."

  "Make it stop!" Maya groaned, trying to cover her ears without letting go of Gideon’s leg.

  "Round and round, round and round..."

  "It’s catchy!" Gideon declared, kicking his legs in rhythm. "Sing with me, friends! The wheels on the Knight go—"

  WHOOSH.

  The hurricane died instantly. The "Great Fan in the Sky" (Dave’s can of compressed air) had run dry.

  "Oops we are falling!" Gideon shouted.

  The parachute collapsed. They fell.

  "Brace for soup!" Kai yelled, curling into a ball.

  They plummeted toward the ocean of Spicy Tomato Lava. But they didn't splash.

  CRACK.

  They hit the surface with a bone-jarring thud. They didn't sink. They slid.

  Kai opened one eye. The bubbling red lava was gone. The ocean had frozen solid. It was now a vast, swirling expanse of frozen gazpacho.

  "It’s ice," Maya gathered herself, sliding across the red surface. "The soup froze instantly."

  "My tailbone," Pigglesworth groaned, lying flat on his back as he slid past. "I require a cushion."

  "Gideon!" Kai looked around. "Where is…."

  WEEEEEE

  A blur of blue plastic shot past them.

  "I CANT STOP!" Gideon screamed.

  The Knight was upright. On the foam mats, his roller skates had been useless. But on the frictionless surface of the frozen gazpacho? He was a projectile.

  "The wheels!" Kai scrambled to his feet, slipping on the ice. "He’s ice skating!"

  Gideon was spinning in a tight circle, his arms flailing. "Round and round!" the music chanted, matching his rotation perfectly.

  A holographic sign flickered into existence on a frozen lamppost: BUS STOP.

  "I must stop!" Gideon yelled, fighting his own legs. "The Gods demand the carriage stop! I must acquire the passengers!"

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  "We are the passengers!" Kai yelled, grabbing Maya’s hand. "Come on! We have to catch the bus!"

  They sprinted across the ice. Or tried to. Maya did a cartoon run, legs spinning in place, before falling flat. Pigglesworth simply let momentum carry him, spinning like a curling stone.

  Gideon drifted around the lamppost, throwing up a spray of red ice shavings. He managed to grab the pole, spinning around it like a carousel.

  "All aboard!" Gideon commanded, his voice high and squeaky. "All aboard the Carriage of Justice!"

  Kai threw Maya toward him. Gideon caught her arm. Kai grabbed Gideon’s cape. Pigglesworth slid past, and Kai managed to snag the noble’s velvet collar.

  "Go!" Kai yelled. "To the City Hall!"

  Gideon pushed off.

  The speed was terrifying. Powered by cartoon physics and the rhythmic chanting of the song, Gideon accelerated.

  "The wipers on the Knight go swish, swish, swish..."

  Gideon waved his arms back and forth. "I am clearing the vision as required by the System!"

  "Don't wave!" Kai screamed, clinging to his back. "Just drive!"

  They rocketed down the frozen main street. The buildings were covered in white frost. The bouncy castles were frozen solid, looking like crystalline fortresses.

  Ahead of them, the City Hall loomed a massive structure that looked like the Taj Mahal made of inflatable vinyl.

  But the doors were blocked.

  Floating in front of the entrance was a massive, glowing grid of images.

  "It’s a shield!" Gideon yelled. "I shall ram it!"

  "Wait!" Kai squinted. "That’s not a shield. That’s a security protocol!"

  The grid pulsed red.

  "Brake!" Kai screamed. "It’s a CAPTCHA wall!"

  "I cannot stop!" Gideon roared, his legs pumping in time with the thumping music. "The music! It commands my legs! The wheels go round and round!"

  The song was speeding up. Doo-doo-doo!

  Kai realized the horror of the situation. The physics weren't being driven by momentum. They were being driven by the soundtrack.

  "It’s audio driven!" Kai realized. "We have to hack the song!"

  " Hack the song?" Maya screamed.

  "Sing!" Kai yelled. "Overpower the lyrics! Sing the brakes!"

  "I do not know the words!" Pigglesworth shrieked.

  "JUST SCREAM 'STOP' TO THE TUNE!" Kai bellowed. "One, two, three!"

  They were fifty feet from the wall. Forty.

  Kai took a deep breath.

  "The wheels on the Knight go..."

  "STOP! STOP! STOP!" the party screamed in unison, their voices cracking in a terrified, discordant harmony.

  The System hesitated. The background music glitched.

  Screech…

  [ LYRIC OVERRIDE ACCEPTED ]

  Gideon’s pink plastic wheels didn't just stop spinning. They defied geometry. They instantly morphed into square shapes.

  CLUNK-CLUNK-CLUNK.

  The smooth glide turned into a violent hammering and with it friction returned.

  "My knees!" Gideon yelled as the square wheels ploughed into the frozen gazpacho.

  Sparks of frozen soup flew into the air. The human chain whipped around like a snapping cable. They skidded, bounced, and finally screeched to a halt.

  Gideon’s face was touching the glowing CAPTCHA grid. He stared at it

  "We have... arrived," Gideon wheezed.

  Kai let go of Gideon’s cape and collapsed onto the ice. Pigglesworth was hyperventilating, clutching his cravat.

  "I sang," Pigglesworth whispered in horror. "I sang a children’s song in public. If the Duke hears of this, I am ruined."

  "Ouch," Maya groaned, rubbing her head.

  The Grid pulsed red again. A robotic voice boomed out. [ ACCESS DENIED. ]

  The images on the grid shuffled. It showed nine pictures: A traffic light, a crosswalk, a fire hydrant, and a tricycle.

  [ SELECT ALL IMAGES CONTAINING: A BUS. ]

  Kai stared at the grid.

  "There are no buses," Kai said. "It’s a trick question. There are only traffic lights and hydrants."

  "Maybe the red thing (hydrant) identifies as public transport?" Pigglesworth suggested, adjusting his crumpled cravat.

  "It’s broken," Kai kicked the ice. "The system is so glitched it doesn't even have the right assets for its own security check. We can't pass."

  Suddenly, a small, annoying pop echoed in Kai’s ear.

  "It looks like you're failing a Turing Test!" a cheerful voice chirped.

  Kai flinched. Floating next to his shoulder was Clippy, the psychopathic paperclip assistant. He was wearing a tiny winter scarf.

  "Go away," Kai snapped. "I'm busy."

  "I can help!" Clippy’s eyes widened to a terrifying size. "I can bypass the security wall! All I have to do is delete the concept of ' all humanity' from the server! Then everyone is a robot! No more CAPTCHA!"

  "No!" Kai yelled. "Do not delete humanity!"

  "You're no fun," Clippy bent into a frown. "Fine. I'll just watch you freeze."

  "Select the Bus," the System droned.

  "There is no bus!" Kai shouted at the wall.

  "Ahem."

  Kai turned.

  Gideon was standing there, striking a heroic pose on his roller skates. The background music—The Wheels on the Knight—was still thumping softly from his armor.

  [ SYSTEM DESIGNATION: BUS (Class A) ]

  Kai looked at Gideon. He looked at the empty grid.

  "Oh no," Kai realized.

  "What?" Maya asked.

  "The System wants us to select the Bus," Kai pointed at Gideon. "Gideon... is the Bus."

  "I am the transport," Gideon nodded gravely.

  "We have to..." Kai hesitated. "We have to upload him."

  "Upload?" Gideon asked.

  "We have to throw the Knight at the wall," Kai said.

  "I am ready!" Gideon crouched. "Toss me, Sorcerer! Let me be the answer to the riddle!"

  "Grab his legs," Kai sighed.

  He reached for Gideon’s ankle. But before he could even lift, the Grid flashed white. A targeting reticle locked onto Gideon’s chest.

  [ COMPATIBLE FILE DETECTED. ] [ INITIATING DRAG AND DROP... ]

  "Wait," Kai gasped. "I haven't clicked yet!"

  Gravity distorted. Gideon lifted off the ground, his limbs stiffening into a T-Pose. He began to float toward the CAPTCHA wall, vibrating violently.

  "I am being selected!" Gideon roared, rotating slowly in mid-air. " The gods are whispering that I am the chosen JPEG!"

  "It’s sucking him in!" Maya yelled, grabbing Gideon’s cape. "It’s going to embed him in the wall!"